Eggchen
Don Juan
This forum has turned to ****.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Help!!! Girl I met just wants to be friends! What can I do?
- Thread starter Guitar_Whizz
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Phoenix_of_the_ashes
Master Don Juan
Chinese black magic!!!!
Guitar_Whizz
Master Don Juan
Ok, thanks for all your replies.
I'm struggling to think where I went wrong though. It seems to me that there is an EXTREMELY fine line between being too laid back and being too forward with a girl, and if you get it wrong, you're doomed.
I really need to go back to basics here, as I'm still finding it hard to determine exactly what I did wrong.
I'm struggling to think where I went wrong though. It seems to me that there is an EXTREMELY fine line between being too laid back and being too forward with a girl, and if you get it wrong, you're doomed.
I really need to go back to basics here, as I'm still finding it hard to determine exactly what I did wrong.
Well, there's an EXTREMELY fat line between being too laid back and being too desperate. You don't e-mail the girl 2 hours after the date. You don't let her bring 2 friends along on a date. I agree you have to go back to basics, because this is pretty basic stuff that you screwed up.
Honestly, you need to forget about this girl, you aren't going to get anywhere with her. Emailing back and forth online isn't going to help your cause at all, to begin with. Some of that **** you pulled was pretty ***** too, "OH THANK YOU FOR HANGING OUT WITH ME IT WAS FUN", that's her line bro, not yours. And then asking if she would want to hang out with you again? What's that communicate to her?
It isn't communicating the fact that you are a confident, self-assured MAN, that's for sure. Right now, anything you do with her is just gonna dig you in deeper to the friend zone, because A. She sees you as just a friend right now, and that 99% likely isn't gonna just shift, and B. you're gonna act like a desperate loser around her because of it. If you really care that much, best thing to do is just drop her for a month or two, then start over with her, and even then you aren't guaranteed success.
It isn't communicating the fact that you are a confident, self-assured MAN, that's for sure. Right now, anything you do with her is just gonna dig you in deeper to the friend zone, because A. She sees you as just a friend right now, and that 99% likely isn't gonna just shift, and B. you're gonna act like a desperate loser around her because of it. If you really care that much, best thing to do is just drop her for a month or two, then start over with her, and even then you aren't guaranteed success.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
Yeah, f*ck man, how the hell are you going to generate any sort of spark when the two friends have come along. Surely you were awkward in that situation.
I realise that this is an online thing, so caution is necessary, but if you absolutely had to go, you should have brought two guys along as well, at least maybe you'd stand a chance with one of the girls.
This online sh*t sounds like a waste of time unless your are getting hookers.
I realise that this is an online thing, so caution is necessary, but if you absolutely had to go, you should have brought two guys along as well, at least maybe you'd stand a chance with one of the girls.
This online sh*t sounds like a waste of time unless your are getting hookers.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Isn't anyone going to question why it would take a DJ months to meet a woman face to face??? Isn't this just a bit strange to any of you? Just remember, unless she hit you over the head with a hammer, all of the pain you are feeling is coming from inside your own brain. From your point of view you were on your way to a life filled with fun days and nights with your new love. From her point of view she got to know you, decided she only liked you as a friend, and tried to let you down easy. Next time don't build up a "relationship" in your mind where one does not exist yet. That way if you do get put into the LJBF zone it won't matter as much.
Once you realize SHE didn't do anything to you it might make it easier to move on.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.