Having a hard time controlling my libido

[Lauel]

So, 22M. I am a simple man and my count is 1.
Life is fine, slow and steady how I like it. Relationship messy, and not even one at this point. But something where we get close, do stuffs and disappear. She gets mad, ignores, blocks me, and toxic stuff happens which I ignore (there is a long story on it, but different topic).

So the problem is my libido. Mind this: I have no criminal records, never touched a woman when she didn't want to, except my own girl, and never lost my self-control. Last week, we had it 3 days straight for hours till we both were wasted, and I had sore knees for days letter because the bed was rough.

This week it happened again, we slept and repeated everything. I came back home next day. Despite everything, I still had to calm myself down later.
For context, I work 6–8 hours sometimes even 12 hours 6 days a week because I feel bored, I lift weights, do all kinds of exercises, pump money in stock market, indulge in geopolitics, read books (currently Julius Evola's Revolt against the modern world), etc.
I try to keep myself busy in every manner to the point where I learned and still cook for myself all kinds of dishes. In free time, I make my own honey wine, kefir, and yeast doughs, which I bake.
I sleep 8–10 hours every day consistently, and yet I can't control myself. The soft ebony hairs, the skin, the fragrance, and everything keep me hooked on this.
We have been passionately in this for almost two years by now, but the libido gets problematic. Every time I don't want to spend 30–40 minutes getting myself off, just to hold my head and face the empty/hollow feeling I get after it.

So how do you control your sexuality without letting it control you? Is it the lack of genuine fulfilling human bonding which makes you more human than a rabid cat in heat, or is this just youth in general, a phase which goes away with time?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

So how do you control your sexuality without letting it control you?

That's the question.

Controlling instincts is the difference between a civilized man and the modern train wrecked human.

No easy way. Consistent discipline, focus, difficult choices you make on a daily basis.

The whole of stoicism, a 2000+ year old system, is centered around understanding and controlling one's base urges.

You're not going to find a magic easy answer on the internet.

If it were easy, everybody could do it.

Most can't.

Consider you're the male version of a fat chick who can't stop stuffing food into her pie hole.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I struggle with the opposite problem, my libido is so low it often kills any desire for me to form relationships or even have sex at all. In fact at times I even struggle maintaining relationships (serious or otherwise) on the basis of not having a high enough sex drive to meet her needs.

I say this to say, I wouldn't take this as a curse, it's a good thing to have a strong libido, the survival of the human race has depended on men like you. Better to have a high libido and learn to control it than not have one at all.

Anyway, if you're that concerned you may want to look into ways to surpress libido through pharmaceutical means. There is actually a medication called Dapoxetine which is essentially a fast-acting SSRI that is used to control premature ejaculation by means of supressing sexual desire. Maybe consider having that on hand for times when your urges are out of control - as far as I know the side effects are very minimal since it only stays in your system for a few hours. In the mean time I think the simplest solution is some kind of mindfulness meditation and perhaps asking yourself what sex does for you.

Do you get post-nut clarity?

 

[Lauel]

Anyway, if you're that concerned you may want to look into ways to surpress libido through pharmaceutical means. There is actually a medication called Dapoxetine which is essentially a fast-acting SSRI that is used to control premature ejaculation by means of supressing sexual desire.

It was good advice until you started saying this. No, I won't take medications ever.

Do you get post-nut clarity?

Always.


Since my case is opposite to you, I have always been extremely high libido person. On the side I have been only taking Ashwagandha, which is an Ayurvedic herb that's all, though that was only for sleep and calmness of mind. Though it indeed helps in libido.
One reason I stay high libido is because I treat myself as a caveman. No reels, no social media no mainstream goyslop.
Nothing which stimulates me in any way. That way when I even smell her from a foot away then something happens to me.

Consider you're the male version of a fat chick who can't stop stuffing food into her pie hole.

Killed me there lol

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Lauel "Despite everything, I still had to calm myself down later"

Welcome to this thing which, recently as '14, was called "embracing adulthood".... A large part of this = NOT allowing yourself to be overrun by every urge and emotion you experience, as if you're a one year old refusing to walk down some steps, based on fear alone

This is doubly true for us males... If one claims to be a MAN, and not a child, he's going to be held to a higher standard. Only f-c-boys who aren't dedicated to a mission larger than themselves are led around primarily by their d-c-s

 

[Plinco]

So, 22M. I am a simple man and my count is 1.
Life is fine, slow and steady how I like it. Relationship messy, and not even one at this point. But something where we get close, do stuffs and disappear. She gets mad, ignores, blocks me, and toxic stuff happens which I ignore (there is a long story on it, but different topic).

So the problem is my libido. Mind this: I have no criminal records, never touched a woman when she didn't want to, except my own girl, and never lost my self-control. Last week, we had it 3 days straight for hours till we both were wasted, and I had sore knees for days letter because the bed was rough.

This week it happened again, we slept and repeated everything. I came back home next day. Despite everything, I still had to calm myself down later.
For context, I work 6–8 hours sometimes even 12 hours 6 days a week because I feel bored, I lift weights, do all kinds of exercises, pump money in stock market, indulge in geopolitics, read books (currently Julius Evola's Revolt against the modern world), etc.
I try to keep myself busy in every manner to the point where I learned and still cook for myself all kinds of dishes. In free time, I make my own honey wine, kefir, and yeast doughs, which I bake.
I sleep 8–10 hours every day consistently, and yet I can't control myself. The soft ebony hairs, the skin, the fragrance, and everything keep me hooked on this.
We have been passionately in this for almost two years by now, but the libido gets problematic. Every time I don't want to spend 30–40 minutes getting myself off, just to hold my head and face the empty/hollow feeling I get after it.

So how do you control your sexuality without letting it control you? Is it the lack of genuine fulfilling human bonding which makes you more human than a rabid cat in heat, or is this just youth in general, a phase which goes away with time?

I have the same issue. You just have to learn to live with it and hopefully get a girl who can keep up with you.

 

[plumber]

its somewhat common in your age range. by happy you have this problem instead of the opposite one....

it usually goes away with time, and then you will wish to have it back.

put yourself into a forced situation where you MUST do something else. don't leave unused time to just sit around, fill your schedule more so that you have less time available. if you have extra time, add some additional education, learn a new skill. its best if you must interact with others and not be alone.

in short configure your life to not leave extra time available.

 

[Travel memoir21]

The way I see it, you have two options. Waste your essence and youth chasing these broads or conserve your semen/essence chasing your goals and dreams for a better life. The choice is up to you. There's lots of semen retention advise on the internet especially on nofap.com and Youtube and chatgpt, use those to your advantage.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Hyper sexuality may be a symptom of something more serious. I am speaking from my own experience, I have it myself and had it addressed. I’m much better off for it. I just gave a woman five orgasms, then I took a pill to relax (non narcotic) and I feel like a million bucks.

I am refocusing that energy as I type this. I have a load of laundry in, I’m cleaning the living room, doing dishes, cleaning up the kids room, just chilling on a Sunday morning. May want to look into.

 

[Lauel]

Hyper sexuality may be a symptom of something more serious. I am speaking from my own experience, I have it myself and had it addressed. I’m much better off for it. I just gave a woman five orgasms, then I took a pill to relax (non narcotic) and I feel like a million bucks.

I am refocusing that energy as I type this. I have a load of laundry in, I’m cleaning the living room, doing dishes, cleaning up the kids room, just chilling on a Sunday morning. May want to look into.

Does too much sex kill your emotions? From this question you might wonder if I am engaging with hookers or stuffs, but no I am just with one.
I like women, a lot. But for some reason lately I only see their flesh. A good one, by body makes my chest ache in a manner that I want to "win" her. Used to be pretty lovey-dovey kind of person, but more sex I have more hollow and obsessed with female body I become.

Hyper sexuality may be a symptom of something more serious.

Do you mean like some sort of disease?

May want to look into.

I try, I think I need to exercise and sleep at time more. Also shifting my office, which kept me engaged but once it ended and my work was off due to monthly deadline, I was back up.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It was good advice until you started saying this. No, I won't take medications ever.

Why?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

You should attend St. Joe's Catholic Church in New York OP. It's an orgy every Sunday.

 

[Lauel]

Why?

I am not some diseased creature that I must take a medicine. Sure I am lustful and out of control of my own senses, but I am normal. I won't take medications ever.
Why manipulate a perfectly normal body? Those who are depressed, have a low libido, or have something wrong in their body should take it.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Do you mean like some sort of disease?

Very possible. Google.

Does too much sex kill your emotions? From this question you might wonder if I am engaging with hookers or stuffs, but no I am just with one.
I like women, a lot. But for some reason lately I only see their flesh. A good one, by body makes my chest ache in a manner that I want to "win" her. Used to be pretty lovey-dovey kind of person, but more sex I have more hollow and obsessed with female body I become.




Do you mean like some sort of disease?




I try, I think I need to exercise and sleep at time more. Also shifting my office, which kept me engaged but once it ended and my work was off due to monthly deadline, I was back up.

yes I am recommending you google the term ‘hyper sexuality’ and see if any of that resonates with you. Your girl may be trying to please you but feeling afterword that you’re not actually connecting with her but just using her to help yourself. I am telling you from experience.

 

[Bingo-Player]

just something that will come with age you are very very young

 

[ludovic991]

High libido is mostly just a side effect of your age and lifestyle. You’re physically active, eating well, and sleeping 8–10 hours, so your body is basically at peak performance. It’s not necessarily a problem to solve, just something that levels out as you get older.

 

[crowolf]

I didn't really understand your exact issue but based on the comments I assume you feel like you have too much testosterone.

A few solutions: running, martial arts, climbing mountains, or reading Mantak Chia to learn how to transmute your energy from your balls to your brain.

Also cut all pørn.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

I don't personally see anything "Wrong" with you. Most people who would say there is something wrong with you are probably going off of what popular or politically correct societal trends state.

While I'm definitely NOT a denier of technological or medical scientific advances, I DO insist that there is a greater dependency on pills than adjusting to your environment or affecting change. Now if you legitimately have a chemical or hormonal imbalance that necessitates regulation for either your mental or physical wellbeing, that's different.

I have had a ridiculous libido since my low single digits! Heck, no one's been curious enough to ask "why the nickname 'Rabbit?'", but let's just say it's more than the fact that I really like the cute little b@stards or that I have owned just about every breed of rabbit there is. It's because I also have the libido of a buck in march with the p1ss and vinegar in my veins to match. Even at 41. lol

Oh and I also feel your pain on the knees aching after some intense play. I'd say a bit less on the hyper self critique. You're doing other things than obsessing over it. You get your rest, you have other interests and hobbies, and that's great. If your libido gets you into trouble or causes you to neglect other areas of your life (SOUNDS like it doesn't; am I wrong?) or causes problems with your GF/SO, (it had done so in some of my past relationships. IE... Taking an 'extra long shower' after we had done it and she got all self conscious) then I'd be more likely to have concerns.

You also self identify this in yourself. Most people aren't capable of honest self reflection. It's part of who you and many men are. I'd argue most men are at least in some point during their lives. Some women have higher or lower libidos as well. If anything, this could potentially make you more proficient at certain acts. And there are skills involved, but I'm still relatively new here and am not aware just how much can be discussed in open forum.

Oh, and welcome to SS. A lot of great advice comes from here. So does a lot of repetitive nonsense. Browse to your hearts' content!

 

[Doctor Europeo]

And there are skills involved, but I'm still relatively new here and am not aware just how much can be discussed in open forum.

You should be good, knock yourself out.

 

[Lauel]

causes problems with your GF/SO

Just did a lot btw, yesterday she had a harsh burst on me saying that I am an f-boy and my brain doesn't work beyond that. I can definitely understand what she has been feeling for some time because it was a bit too much from me. Like an addict. I prayed to the God to give me and her some peace to cherish life.
So I have decided to take a backseat now, and try to channel energy somewhere.