Have I been friendzoned?

[Sgthaytham]

Well look at it this way, better 2 weeks than 2 years. It’s much easier to ghost someone after 2 weeks than it is 2 years. What did she say? “You’re like a brother to me”? “You’re like family to me”? Or some creepy crap like that?

Nothing like that, she’s talked about me to a flatmate and the flatmate told me she doesn’t want to get with other flatmates. So I’m just going to call it a day

 

[Bigpapa]

Nothing like that, she’s talked about me to a flatmate and the flatmate told me she doesn’t want to get with other flatmates. So I’m just going to call it a day

pfff ... this does not mean really anything

someone told someone that someone who heard from someone...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Nothing like that, she’s talked about me to a flatmate and the flatmate told me she doesn’t want to get with other flatmates. So I’m just going to call it a day

This is meaningless.

 

[King Lion]

Nothing like that, she’s talked about me to a flatmate and the flatmate told me she doesn’t want to get with other flatmates. So I’m just going to call it a day

Hmmm....This is what I meant when I said she'd either get with you or speak about some other guy and then you would have your answer. Don't sweat it - sounds about par for the course.

Look at things in a more positive light because she was 'talking about' you and maybe your other flatmate is the one she doesn't want to "get with".

 

[Bigpapa]

Hmmm....This is what I meant when I said she'd either get with you or speak about some other guy and then you would have your answer. Don't sweat it - sounds about par for the course.

Look at things in a more positive light because she was 'talking about' you and maybe your other flatmate is the one she doesn't want to "get with".

Or maybe he likes her too and he tries to c0ckblock you

 

[Sgthaytham]

Hmmm....This is what I meant when I said she'd either get with you or speak about some other guy and then you would have your answer. Don't sweat it - sounds about par for the course.

Look at things in a more positive light because she was 'talking about' you and maybe your other flatmate is the one she doesn't want to "get with".

The other flatmate is a woman.
What do you mean it sounds about par for the course?

 

[Sgthaytham]

Or maybe he likes her too and he tries to c0ckblock you

The other flatmate is a woman.

 

[Bigpapa]

The other flatmate is a woman.

maybe also the other flatmate likes you

 

[Sgthaytham]

maybe also the other flatmate likes you

I seriously doubt that. Man, I'm confused. I mean the IOIs seemed to be there, but I guess either I read the IOIs wrong, or there was no interest to begin with. Oh well, life goes on

 

[Bigpapa]

I seriously doubt that. Man, I'm confused. I mean the IOIs seemed to be there, but I guess either I read the IOIs wrong, or there was no interest to begin with. Oh well, life goes on

The problem with ioi is that if you think in terms of that you will always try to figure out if she is into you or not , which in return will make you overanalyze things and make you not make a move . This is why people say that always to assume attraction

you did not make a move , make one and see where it goes , then you will know for sure

 

[Sgthaytham]

The problem with ioi is that if you think in terms of that you will always try to figure out if she is into you or not , which in return will make you overanalyze things and make you not make a move . This is why people say that always to assume attraction

you did not make a move , make one and see where it goes , then you will know for sure

I did make a move of sorts, but that's when our flatmate told me "She spoke to me about you and she said she doesn't want anything to happen with flatmates"... so I guess that's it.

I don't think I should insist at this point

 

[Bigpapa]

I did make a move of sorts, but that's when our flatmate told me "She spoke to me about you and she said she doesn't want anything to happen with flatmates"... so I guess that's it.

I don't think I should insist at this point

a move of sorts is not considered a move haha

 

[Sgthaytham]

a move of sorts is not considered a move haha

True.
What are everyone else’s thoughts?

 

[King Lion]

The other flatmate is a woman.
What do you mean it sounds about par for the course?

It means that one couldn't expect that many great relationships would start out as flatmates.

You can get a lot more than azz out of a female by controlling your **** and your desire for her.

Just chill and enjoy the situation of having her close by to observe listen and learn about. You can subliminally seduce a woman this way by allowing her to choose you.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Every single one of these is a major IOI.

If you are worried about being her "friend," I have good news: Only you can make that happen, lol. She fancies you too.

Remember, Always Assume Attraction. In the long run I think you need to work on your self-perception. You need to be in a constant state of high value, so constant that it isn't even a question in your mind. But that's long term.

Short term...well she's a flatmate. How's that gonna work?

@samspade

Do you have anything further to add from what King Lion, BackIntheGame78 and BigPapa have said so far about my updates?

For me either what she's told out other flatmate about "not wanting to get with a flat mate" is probably not far from the truth, meaning 1) she likes me but... or 2) She wasn't interested in the first place. I'm leaning more towards 2) tbh

 

[Igetit!]

@samspade

Do you have anything further to add from what King Lion, BackIntheGame78 and BigPapa have said so far about my updates?

For me either what she's told out other flatmate about "not wanting to get with a flat mate" is probably not far from the truth, meaning 1) she likes me but... or 2) She wasn't interested in the first place. I'm leaning more towards 2) tbh

Sir.......I've been reading this thread ever since the day it was created. I never said anything because I pretty much agreed with what everyone else has already stated,but I do have a question or two from some of the things you've recently said.

For one......what did you mean when you said you made "a move of sorts"? What is "sort" of a move anyway?

Also,have you DIRECTLY made your interest known yet? Cause it seems to me you're just "tip-toeing" around the girl,hoping she can figure out you're interested,without you having to risk rejection. I can tell you RIGHT NOW...........that WILL NOT work.

If you want the girl,you have to let her know. She can't read your mind,dude.


One thing I can tell you with 100% certainty.....the longer you wait...the LESS THE CHANCE you'll ever have to make something happen with her......especially if you see her often. She's gonna get used to you,the way you currently are (non-romantic/non-sexual).......and then if you finally ever do decide to make a move,it's gonna seem weird,seem out-of-character.

In other words,what "Robert28" said here: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/have-i-been-friendzoned.267432/post-2790923


A few weeks ago,I went to Domino's. I wanted a pepperoni pizza. So when I went to the counter and they asked to take my order,guess what I said? I said I wanted a pepperoni pizza. I didn't hint......I didn't insinuate.....I didn't "sorta"/"kinda" say what I wanted,I told them FLAT OUT.

If you wanna take this chick out,then you HAVE TO ask her out. You're too busy in YOUR HEAD ,making assumptions. "She flipped her hair to the side,that means "this",she said so and so to my friend,so that means that....and on and on and on.



Do I think there was interest based on your initial post? Yes. I think she liked you. Problem is you're stalling her interest out by not taking action,and "sort of a moves" ain't gonna cut it. I've always looked at a woman's interest when you first meet her like wet cement. You have to QUICKLY start to mold it in the fashion you want it to be,cause it starts to harden. If you do nothing,guess what? It STILL hardens. And the longer you wait,the harder it gets to make her see you the way you want to be seen (as a sexual interest).



I would tell you to hurry up and go make a move....but seeing as how you're going on your 3rd week of knowing her,it MAY BE already too late. Only way to know for certain is to make a move,but you seem too content thinking,wondering,imagining,and playing out "what if" scenarios in your head to make that happen.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Sir.......I've been reading this thread ever since the day it was created. I never said anything because I pretty much agreed with what everyone else has already stated,but I do have a question or two from some of the things you've recently said.

For one......what did you mean when you said you made "a move of sorts"? What is "sort" of a move anyway?

Also,have you DIRECTLY made your interest known yet? Cause it seems to me you're just "tip-toeing" around the girl,hoping she can figure out you're interested,without you having to risk rejection. I can tell you RIGHT NOW...........that WILL NOT work.

If you want the girl,you have to let her know. She can't read your mind,dude.


One thing I can tell you with 100% certainty.....the longer you wait...the LESS THE CHANCE you'll ever have to make something happen with her......especially if you see her often. She's gonna get used to you,the way you currently are (non-romantic/non-sexual).......and then if you finally ever do decide to make a move,it's gonna seem weird,seem out-of-character.

In other words,what "Robert28" said here: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/have-i-been-friendzoned.267432/post-2790923


A few weeks ago,I went to Domino's. I wanted a pepperoni pizza. So when I went to the counter and they asked to take my order,guess what I said? I said I wanted a pepperoni pizza. I didn't hint......I didn't insinuate.....I didn't "sorta"/"kinda" say what I wanted,I told them FLAT OUT.

If you wanna take this chick out,then you HAVE TO ask her out. You're too busy in YOUR HEAD ,making assumptions. "She flipped her hair to the side,that means "this",she said so and so to my friend,so that means that....and on and on and on.



Do I think there was interest based on your initial post? Yes. I think she liked you. Problem is you're stalling her interest out by not taking action,and "sort of a moves" ain't gonna cut it. I've always looked at a woman's interest when you first meet her like wet cement. You have to QUICKLY start to mold it in the fashion you want it to be,cause it starts to harden. If you do nothing,guess what? It STILL hardens. And the longer you wait,the harder it gets to make her see you the way you want to be seen (as a sexual interest).



I would tell you to hurry up and go make a move....but seeing as how you're going on your 3rd week of knowing her,it MAY BE already too late. Only way to know for certain is to make a move,but you seem too content thinking,wondering,imagining,and playing out "what if" scenarios in your head to make that happen.

I hear what you and many others are saying that I have to strike when the iron is hot before she loses interest (unless she already has).

You have to understand though that before All this she had told me she “doesn’t want to get attached”.

At that point I imagine she was just letting me down slowly.

Then there were the IOIs, so I thought maybe I was game...

Now the female flatmate has told me she’s talked about me and how “She doesn’t want to get with a flatmate”, again suggests she doesn’t want anything to happen and/or isn’t interested.

When I say a move of sorts, the reason why the female flatmate told me the above is because I really wanted to make a move and she held me back to tell me what the girl in question had told her.

 

[TheGambino]

That's called getting rejected. At that point you walk away.

I think there are technically two types of friendzone:

1. The FZ where you are not sure of where you stand because you never made a move.
2. The FZ where you made a move and got rejected.

If you are in the first, you should make a move and find out. If you are in the second, walk away.

Great. This is all you need to know basically lol

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I seriously doubt that. Man, I'm confused. I mean the IOIs seemed to be there, but I guess either I read the IOIs wrong, or there was no interest to begin with. Oh well, life goes on

Why would you ever pay attention to something dumb like that? Words are meaningless. Actions are not. You haven't done anything that forces an action from her.

Do something that forces an action if you want the real answer to this and not the one you have made up in your own mind which may or may not have any basis in reality.

 

[Lookatu]

Why would you ever pay attention to something dumb like that? Words are meaningless. Actions are not. You haven't done anything that forces an action from her.

Do something that forces an action if you want the real answer to this and not the one you have made up in your own mind which may or may not have any basis in reality.

Exactly.
Work on yourself and if you are buff/get buff, walk around the place with just a towel, tease, talk on the phone with other girls in a romantic way, get her to notice you in a different way. Just go about your day like she's an insignificant fly on the wall. If she doesn't act, that's on her and she'll be the one suffering while you go about your business.