Have I been friendzoned?

[TheGambino]

Make a move to escalate and you will have your answer. The only IOI that matters in the end is if she gets naked and puts your d!ck in one of her holes.

The problem too many guys get caught up in is trying to understand what all of this means or they enjoy trying to think about these things in their own mind and concoct some fantasyland outcome rather than find out the real outcome because they are afraid it will be different from the one they envision in their mind.

Don't get caught up in your own mentally projected outcomes OP, find out the truth.

I agree, it leads nowhere. You build report and attraction? Go for the kill, ask her out and escalate. That’s all you have to do.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Flat party during COVID? You must be crazy

We're in the same flat/household, it's legal where we are.

 

[flowtheory]

A few things to consider of caution..

1. Even if she is interested in you, would you want to get tangled up with a flatmate? It’s not as though you would have your space from her afterwards.

2. You could hook up with her and be completely turned off by her subsequently and therefore just screwed your own living situation. May have to move out.

3. You could hook up and she could become super possessive or clingy and think you’re dating because of that and scare away any other women.

4. Don’t shiit where you eat, in my opinion.

——
Does she like you? Find out Without crossing a line.

1. Show overt interest in other women when she’s around. Flirt, touch, laugh. See what she does because of it. If she likes you she will involve herself or make herself known to you.

2. Bring over other women and see how she interacts with them. If she grills them, is very aware of them, or tries to get them to slip up through questions/jokes, she likes you. If she’s friendly and soft, she’s just a a friendly and maybe flirty flatmate. Probably doesn’t.

Going for a flatmate presents some issues to me. And issues which I don’t know are worth it. They would only be worth it if she was someone I was really compatible and had great natural chemistry with. Otherwise it will just be a mess, probably. But even still.. you already live together.

Before I did anything in any realm I would get more options to see if I even cared. Because you could care more than you should because of lack of options and simply just being around a woman who you’re fairly comfortable with because you live with each other, so it could be illusory in a way.

 

[Jcooper]

You’re doing great OP, she probably likes you too, make a move and let’s see. She doesn’t have to want to be attached in the beginning, maybe with time she’ll like that, but that’s not for you to decide, just do your part.

 

[Sgthaytham]

A few things to consider of caution..

1. Even if she is interested in you, would you want to get tangled up with a flatmate? It’s not as though you would have your space from her afterwards.

2. You could hook up with her and be completely turned off by her subsequently and therefore just screwed your own living situation. May have to move out.

3. You could hook up and she could become super possessive or clingy and think you’re dating because of that and scare away any other women.

4. Don’t shiit where you eat, in my opinion.

——
Does she like you? Find out Without crossing a line.

1. Show overt interest in other women when she’s around. Flirt, touch, laugh. See what she does because of it. If she likes you she will involve herself or make herself known to you.

2. Bring over other women and see how she interacts with them. If she grills them, is very aware of them, or tries to get them to slip up through questions/jokes, she likes you. If she’s friendly and soft, she’s just a a friendly and maybe flirty flatmate. Probably doesn’t.

Going for a flatmate presents some issues to me. And issues which I don’t know are worth it. They would only be worth it if she was someone I was really compatible and had great natural chemistry with. Otherwise it will just be a mess, probably. But even still.. you already live together.

Before I did anything in any realm I would get more options to see if I even cared. Because you could care more than you should because of lack of options and simply just being around a woman who you’re fairly comfortable with because you live with each other, so it could be illusory in a way.

Thanks for the post. I've mentioned before that there are other women I have interest in. Yes, she's a flatmate, and indeed that's why I'm in no rush (and I'm sorry if it came off that way). I do really fancy her, but if something turns me off about her, then that'll be it and we can remain on friendly terms.

I have experience dealing with flatmates I've had things with, some good, some bad. I'm just going to take it cool.

 

[King Lion]

I'm just going to take it cool.

Right on...Words to live by...Ladies love 'Cool'.

Check out this old school classic...

 

[Robert28]

Girls dont put guys in the friendzone...guys put themselves there but not going for what they want. If you like her ask her out on a date and escalate. If she is not with it you find a girl that is and you quit giivng her attention

That’s not always the case. I’ve been on several dates before with a girl and gotten friendzoned after a few dates. I did everything in my power to escalate and move forward but she cut me off at every turn.

 

[bat soup]

That’s not always the case. I’ve been on several dates before with a girl and gotten friendzoned after a few dates. I did everything in my power to escalate and move forward but she cut me off at every turn.

That's called getting rejected. At that point you walk away.

I think there are technically two types of friendzone:

1. The FZ where you are not sure of where you stand because you never made a move.
2. The FZ where you made a move and got rejected.

If you are in the first, you should make a move and find out. If you are in the second, walk away.

 

[Robert28]

That's called getting rejected. At that point you walk away.

I think there are technically two types of friendzone:

1. The FZ where you are not sure of where you stand because you never made a move.
2. The FZ where you made a move and got rejected.

If you are in the first, you should make a move and find out. If you are in the second, walk away.

I’m not used to getting rejected after 4-5 dates though, to me rejection is right away. To me that’s just wasting my time and then trying to sugar coat it with bs like “I’m not over my ex yet, not ready to date anyone, let’s be friends because I enjoy you being in my life and we have so much fun”.

 

[bat soup]

I’m not used to getting rejected after 4-5 dates though, to me rejection is right away. To me that’s just wasting my time and then trying to sugar coat it with bs like “I’m not over my ex yet, not ready to date anyone, let’s be friends because I enjoy you being in my life and we have so much fun”.

That's what women do. When they don't like a guy, instead of saying no they try to string them along for as long as possible and get what they can from them.

 

[Robert28]

That's what women do. When they don't like a guy, instead of saying no they try to string them along for as long as possible and get what they can from them.

And women that do that are narcissist and end up sad and alone later on in life.

 

[flowtheory]

And women that do that are narcissist and end up sad and alone later on in life.

I think all women will pretty much hold on to a guy who’s willfully giving them positive attention. I mean, why not? It’s the guys choice that he’s giving to her. She’s not entitled to give something back just because the guy may be entitled or ‘nice’.
They are just going to release the ones who don’t have any value to give them. Like anyone would.

Women simply friend zone men they don’t have any sexual interest in but still have value outside of that - good conversation, smart, fun, etc. The guy doesn’t have to be a dud.
But men won’t understand that because they are more singular-minded in terms of that. Women have so many avenues of interest they need to be compelled in for it to be something more. Unless of course they have no options or just want to be in a relationship. But if that’s the case there will be other flags to worry about.

 

[Robert28]

I think all women will pretty much hold on to a guy who’s willfully giving them positive attention. I mean, why not? It’s the guys choice that he’s giving to her. She’s not entitled to give something back just because the guy may be entitled or ‘nice’.
They are just going to release the ones who don’t have any value to give them. Like anyone would.

Women simply friend zone men they don’t have any sexual interest in but still have value outside of that - good conversation, smart, fun, etc. The guy doesn’t have to be a dud.
But men won’t understand that because they are more singular-minded in terms of that. Women have so many avenues of interest they need to be compelled in for it to be something more. Unless of course they have no options or just want to be in a relationship. But if that’s the case there will be other flags to worry about.

These women that use men that way are the same ones to shout about being a “side chick” for Chad and how they get “used”. I’ve walked away from a year long friendship that was really just friendzone. Didn’t make a big speech, didn’t even give her a heads up. In fact we were texting each other the night before wishing each other happy thanksgiving. I just realized this wasn’t for me and I deleted and blocked her number with no explanation.

 

[bat soup]

I think all women will pretty much hold on to a guy who’s willfully giving them positive attention. I mean, why not? It’s the guys choice that he’s giving to her. She’s not entitled to give something back just because the guy may be entitled or ‘nice’.
They are just going to release the ones who don’t have any value to give them. Like anyone would.

Women simply friend zone men they don’t have any sexual interest in but still have value outside of that - good conversation, smart, fun, etc. The guy doesn’t have to be a dud.
But men won’t understand that because they are more singular-minded in terms of that. Women have so many avenues of interest they need to be compelled in for it to be something more. Unless of course they have no options or just want to be in a relationship. But if that’s the case there will be other flags to worry about.

I agree that it's a man's choice whether he wants to give away his time and attention. It's totally on you if you waste your time and attention on the wrong women.

As to their intentions, it's true they might sometimes be good. But I think women often play innocent whilst really knowing perfectly well that they're just stringing someone along. It's often very much a deliberate strategy.

There are a lot of women out there that will totally take advantage of you and get everything they can from you if you let them.

 

[flowtheory]

I agree that it's a man's choice whether he wants to give away his time and attention. It's totally on you if you waste your time and attention on the wrong women.

As to their intentions, it's true they might sometimes be good. But I think women often play innocent whilst really knowing perfectly well that they're just stringing someone along. It's often very much a deliberate strategy.

There are a lot of women out there that will totally take advantage of you and get everything they can from you if you let them.

It’s why self-value and respect are so important. We tell people how much we’re worth. But first we tell ourselves. Then we negotiate.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Yeah, well she doesn’t like me that way. Confirmed last night. What a waste of time.

Signs mean absolutely **** all.

 

[bat soup]

Yeah, well she doesn’t like me that way. Confirmed last night. What a waste of time.

Signs mean absolutely **** all.

That's why you want to escalate quickly and find out what the deal is. It's too easy for women to lead you on with signs.

 

[Sgthaytham]

That's why you want to escalate quickly and find out what the deal is. It's too easy for women to lead you on with signs.

Dude I’ve known her for like 2 weeks, how quick do you want me to be?
Anyway, **** it.

 

[bat soup]

Dude I’ve known her for like 2 weeks, how quick do you want me to be?
Anyway, **** it.

If you want to waste 2 weeks of your life on every girl you meet, that's up to you. You can make it as quick or as slow as you want.

 

[Robert28]

Well look at it this way, better 2 weeks than 2 years. It’s much easier to ghost someone after 2 weeks than it is 2 years. What did she say? “You’re like a brother to me”? “You’re like family to me”? Or some creepy crap like that?