Have a gf but going on a date

[Murk]

Hi SS it's been a while.

In the time I've been away I quit my job and have started my own business (doing the same thing I have been doing the past 10 years). Have my finances in even better order than before and feeling 8/10 mentally as a baseline (that's great for me). Stopped my drug-taking (mostly) and now rarely drink alcohol unless special occasion (again, great for me if you remember the mess I was in).

I met a gorgeous Colombian woman while out in the city (London) 2 weeks ago. She's here for 2 years (maybe more) originally from the U.S. but still lives a good 1.5 hour drive from me ad outside of London.

I've always wanted a Latina but they are so rare in the UK I just always saw it as a pipe dream. Anyway we have been texting she is doing a day trip in to London today to explore and asked if I wanted to join for drinks, I said yes.

Now I have cold feet, I have a GF I've been wanting to leave but corona came and ruined all plans I had and the coward in me wants to hold on to this relationship I'm not feeling.

Should I go on this date and live my dreams or should I first address my issues at home and break up with GF, focus more on my business and go semi hermit mode to recalibrate?

Thanks

 

[HyenaPrince]

Hi SS it's been a while.

In the time I've been away I quit my job and have started my own business (doing the same thing I have been doing the past 10 years). Have my finances in even better order than before and feeling 8/10 mentally as a baseline (that's great for me). Stopped my drug-taking (mostly) and now rarely drink alcohol unless special occasion (again, great for me if you remember the mess I was in).

I met a gorgeous Colombian woman while out in the city (London) 2 weeks ago. She's here for 2 years (maybe more) originally from the U.S. but still lives a good 1.5 hour drive from me ad outside of London.

I've always wanted a Latina but they are so rare in the UK I just always saw it as a pipe dream. Anyway we have been texting she is doing a day trip in to London today to explore and asked if I wanted to join for drinks, I said yes.

Now I have cold feet, I have a GF I've been wanting to leave but corona came and ruined all plans I had and the coward in me wants to hold on to this relationship I'm not feeling.

Should I go on this date and live my dreams or should I first address my issues at home and break up with GF, focus more on my business and go semi hermit mode to recalibrate?

Thanks

Do you guys live together at the moment?

 

[Murk]

Do you guys live together at the moment?

No I have my own place and she lives with her parents 20 min away, plus starting my own business I have already distanced myself from my gf and now only see her for her benefit rather than mine.

 

[HyenaPrince]

now only see her for her benefit rather than mine.

Dump her. Either f*ck this new woman once and then dump her, or dump her now. Now meaning today. If you don't live together there are literally no logistics to take care of or any other liability for that matter. Don't waste your time with your current girlfriend if you don't get anything out of it.

What is really stopping you from leaving her right now? I mean if you could think of two things that make it rough for you, what would they be? Is your barrier an emotional or rather a material one?

 

[Murk]

Dump her. Either f*ck this new woman once and then dump her, or dump her now. Now meaning today. If you don't live together there are literally no logistics to take care of or any other liability for that matter. Don't waste your time with your current girlfriend if you don't get anything out of it.

What is really stopping you from leaving her right now? I mean if you could think of two things that make it rough for you, what would they be? Is your barrier an emotional or rather a material one?

It's all emotional, and I don't even enjoy the sex much anymore.

Little back story, my only parent passed away in 2016, met toxic ex after and was in a strained relationship. We broke up, I found this forum and had 18 months of debauchery followed by my current gf.

My biggest fear is upsetting her and not having my gf in my life anymore, she's progressed into a good solid friend for me more than anything else. What I wouldn't give for my gf to actually be a close female friend She has been so supportive in my business venture but she lacks ambition herself (although a great stereotypical housewife with cooking, cleaning, motivation, support etc). Many of my friends wonder why I don't just commit to current girlfriend - but the spark isn't there.

 

[In2theGame]

Straight up honesty is the best policy here IMO. I know it's going to be difficult and you dont want to hurt her but if you dont tell her, then you are going to just A) Delay the inevitable and B) Hurt both of you in progressing with life. You dont have to do it abruptly by saying "Hey i dont want to be together anymore" and then ghost. Tell her you feel like you want to be single and see other people. You still care about her but you dont want to hold her back from finding another dude that's ready to settle down. If you fvck this other chick on the side, you're going to get irritated by your GF wanting to hang out with you because deep down you dont want to be with her anymore.

 

[Murk]

Straight up honesty is the best policy here IMO. I know it's going to be difficult and you dont want to hurt her but if you dont tell her, then you are going to just A) Delay the inevitable and B) Hurt both of you in progressing with life. You dont have to do it abruptly by saying "Hey i dont want to be together anymore" and then ghost. Tell her you feel like you want to be single and see other people. You still care about her but you dont want to hold her back from finding another dude that's ready to settle down. If you fvck this other chick on the side, you're going to get irritated by your GF wanting to hang out with you because deep down you dont want to be with her anymore.

I know this! This is exactly what it is, delaying the inevitable.

I've decided to go ahead with this date, girl confirmed she needs to catch last train at 9pm as working tomorrow so sex is definitely not on the cards (good thing imo so I can have a date that doesn't lead to sex for the first time in years).

Will start plotting the break up convo with current GF.

side plot - it's her BDAY in 2 weeks - have to stick around for that and get her something nice? When I realised it's another Bday and we still together I died inside. I need to end this. Does anyone have similar experience with breaking up with a gf?

 

[Lookatu]

side plot - it's her BDAY in 2 weeks - have to stick around for that and get her something nice? When I realised it's another Bday and we still together I died inside. I need to end this. Does anyone have similar experience with breaking up with a gf?

Fvck no. Break up before her birthday.
I don't know which one is crueler but I do know which one makes more sense.
Would you move your closing date on a sale of your home to after you pay the taxes if you had the choice?

 

[Murk]

Fvck no. Break up before her birthday.
I don't know which one is crueler but I do know which one makes more sense.
Would you move your closing date on a sale of your home to after you pay the taxes if you had the choice?

Spending some change on her isn't an issue, in fact I think she deserves it, but will prob throw it away after break up.

I'm about to head out to see this hot, educated, well travelled young (24) Colombiana - wish me luck.

Will be more active on this forum moving forward.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I'm assuming that you're an adult of sound mind.

If you are looking to strangers on the internet to guide you on the morality of "right and wrong" .... then I'm thinking that you're a hopeless case.

Only you can determine what is the "right" thing to do. You know this.

We are here to offer advice. We (or at least I) am not here to offer you a safety net from your own self-accountability.

 

[HyenaPrince]

side plot - it's her BDAY in 2 weeks - have to stick around for that and get her something nice? When I realised it's another Bday and we still together I died inside. I need to end this. Does anyone have similar experience with breaking up with a gf?

Brother, you need to break up with her before her birthday. It doesn't matter how you look at it. Humans always find angles to be p*ssed at you. You could be the nicest, humblest and most honest person on this planet for 10 years straight and make one mistake and you're the devil all of a sudden. That's why it won't matter to her - in that she will be angry and sad anyway.

You should break up with her rather sooner than later for YOUR sake. If you continue putting in more money and emotional energy into this relationship it will be harder for you to leave her later on. I don't know her as a person but I bet she'll find a rebound real quick. Women have it easy in this world if they look good enough. Someone will pick her up and then she'll be over you.

 

[In2theGame]

I know this! This is exactly what it is, delaying the inevitable.

I've decided to go ahead with this date, girl confirmed she needs to catch last train at 9pm as working tomorrow so sex is definitely not on the cards (good thing imo so I can have a date that doesn't lead to sex for the first time in years).

Will start plotting the break up convo with current GF.

side plot - it's her BDAY in 2 weeks - have to stick around for that and get her something nice? When I realised it's another Bday and we still together I died inside. I need to end this. Does anyone have similar experience with breaking up with a gf?

The birthday thing is very unfortunate timing but IMO it's not going to be good either way. If I had to pick, I would tell her before her birthday because then at least for her B-Day she can hang with her friends to "get over" the breakup. You've got to do the breakup as soon as possible, don't delay.

 

[In2theGame]

Brother, you need to break up with her before her birthday. It doesn't matter how you look at it. Humans always find angles to be p*ssed at you. You could be the nicest, humblest and most honest person on this planet for 10 years straight and make one mistake and you're the devil all of a sudden. That's why it won't matter to her - in that she will be angry and sad anyway.

You should break up with her rather sooner than later for YOUR sake. If you continue putting in more money and emotional energy into this relationship it will be harder for you to leave her later on. I don't know her as a person but I bet she'll find a rebound real quick. Women have it easy in this world if they look good enough. Someone will pick her up and then she'll be over you.

LoL we said pretty much the same thing. I agree.

 

[Suave88]

Hi SS it's been a while.

In the time I've been away I quit my job and have started my own business (doing the same thing I have been doing the past 10 years). Have my finances in even better order than before and feeling 8/10 mentally as a baseline (that's great for me). Stopped my drug-taking (mostly) and now rarely drink alcohol unless special occasion (again, great for me if you remember the mess I was in).

I met a gorgeous Colombian woman while out in the city (London) 2 weeks ago. She's here for 2 years (maybe more) originally from the U.S. but still lives a good 1.5 hour drive from me ad outside of London.

I've always wanted a Latina but they are so rare in the UK I just always saw it as a pipe dream. Anyway we have been texting she is doing a day trip in to London today to explore and asked if I wanted to join for drinks, I said yes.

Now I have cold feet, I have a GF I've been wanting to leave but corona came and ruined all plans I had and the coward in me wants to hold on to this relationship I'm not feeling.

Should I go on this date and live my dreams or should I first address my issues at home and break up with GF, focus more on my business and go semi hermit mode to recalibrate?

Thanks

She is Colombian and from the U.S..... How is that???? You always wanted a Latina, then go for it. Opportunity may not strike twice.

 

[logicallefty]

I would say evaluate what your goals are. Are you looking for a long-term or short-term woman? If your girlfriend now is a good long-term woman and that’s what you want then it might be worth sticking with her unless you think the new one is an even better long term fit. Long term keepers are much harder to find than short term keepers. But if Short term fun and sex if your priority right now then yeah time to give the girlfriend a boot and hit the new one. If the new one is not going to be in your country long term that’s something to consider too. If it came to it, Would you be willing to move to another country with her if she were a keeper?

 

[Glassguy]

Go out with the new chick. Dont be scared to monkey branch. You know, just like a chick would do to you. I would personally keep the current gf around just in case, meanwhile go out with this new Latino chick and others if you want.

If current GF catches wind and goes nuts about it, just gaslight her. Blame in on her. You know, just like a chick would do to you.

Line up the Latino and some other new dates. Keep current gf there "just in case". If she finds out and dumps you over it, so be it, as you say you're done with the current GF anyways.

 

[Young OG]

Hi SS it's been a while.

In the time I've been away I quit my job and have started my own business (doing the same thing I have been doing the past 10 years). Have my finances in even better order than before and feeling 8/10 mentally as a baseline (that's great for me). Stopped my drug-taking (mostly) and now rarely drink alcohol unless special occasion (again, great for me if you remember the mess I was in).

I met a gorgeous Colombian woman while out in the city (London) 2 weeks ago. She's here for 2 years (maybe more) originally from the U.S. but still lives a good 1.5 hour drive from me ad outside of London.

I've always wanted a Latina but they are so rare in the UK I just always saw it as a pipe dream. Anyway we have been texting she is doing a day trip in to London today to explore and asked if I wanted to join for drinks, I said yes.

Now I have cold feet, I have a GF I've been wanting to leave but corona came and ruined all plans I had and the coward in me wants to hold on to this relationship I'm not feeling.

Should I go on this date and live my dreams or should I first address my issues at home and break up with GF, focus more on my business and go semi hermit mode to recalibrate?

Thanks

I love Latinas. Go on the date. Keep your gf around as a back up plan. You only live once

 

[CBear]

Go out with the new chick. Dont be scared to monkey branch. You know, just like a chick would do to you. I would personally keep the current gf around just in case, meanwhile go out with this new Latino chick and others if you want.

If current GF catches wind and goes nuts about it, just gaslight her. Blame in on her. You know, just like a chick would do to you.

Line up the Latino and some other new dates. Keep current gf there "just in case". If she finds out and dumps you over it, so be it, as you say you're done with the current GF anyways.

Yeah, because men should act like chicks.

 

[Glassguy]

Yeah, because men should act like chicks.

I didnt say act like a chick. But you should certainly learn to think like one when it comes to this stuff.

If you disagree......then you also disagree with the core of Alpha Male Strategies. Dont believe me? Look it up.

You obviously don't have the ability to understand what I'm talking about and that's ok too. The world needs beta males and window lickers too.

 

[CBear]

I didnt say act like a chick. But you should certainly learn to think like one when it comes to this stuff.

If you disagree......then you also disagree with the core of Alpha Male Strategies. Dont believe me? Look it up.

You obviously don't have the ability to understand what I'm talking about and that's ok too. The world needs beta males and window lickers too.

This is a good lesson on scarcity and abundance. What does it tell you when a guy is keeping a girl "just in case"?


A man that truly demands respect does so by his actions, not his words. This man understands that you get what you give. What should he expect when he "monkey branches" and keeps someone exclusive (keyword) just in case? The same exact thing. This is fine if that's what you're going for and not looking to be respected. Idc what a women has done to you in the past, you let your current woman/women know the rules and you kick them to the curb if they disobey you. You don't go out and act resentful to all of them for no reason or when you feel like it if you're bored and expect and goody goody exclusive girly to be wiping your a$$ every time you're desperate for another notch count and come back to satisfy a poor ego for a day or two. THAT is what an alpha male is all about.

I'm disappointed in you not only because you don't go further into depth, but also because you're so quick to attack me which shows that you aren't able to maintain your composure with a simple comment that simplified what you wrote. I expect more from a 43 year old "alpha male" (apparently I thought wrong about you for a while but thanks for exposing yourself). Ciao :*