Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
That's interesting to hear your experience has been the same as mine. I think I recall another poster saying the opposite.
This happens to me, usually at work, heh. It's more of a case by case thing, imo. Younger women tend to be more bashful the older I get.
Four years ago, I trained a handsy 60 year old woman.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Isn't that gay? To look forward to an older woman being handsy with you. I mean, women of that age have hands that are more masculine than the hands of guys who are 40yrs old and younger.
Handsiness could be viewed as an IOI. The topic of a woman's handsiness most certainly fits on a seduction forum.
A woman's touch feels feminine even if she's older (I would know)Isn't that gay? To look forward to an older woman being handsy with you. I mean, women of that age have hands that are more masculine than the hands of guys who are 40yrs old and younger.
No it doesn't. You're one of a handful of 33 year olds on this planet who's hellbent on bedding near/post menopausal women. Your energies will be more well-spent ridding yourself of that fixation
GM has stated elsewhere that folks in RL have, more than once, mistaken him for gayIsn't that gay? To look forward to an older woman being handsy with you. I mean, women of that age have hands that are more masculine than the hands of guys who are 40yrs old and younger.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
This is true. The only way he could rid himself of that fixation is through mental health therapy (likely a combination of medication and talk therapy sessions). He would have to choose to seek the appropriate care for that.
The type of handsiness you're describing isn't especially sexual. It's the sort of casual affection women of all ages in Anglo culture have always enjoyed carte blanche on. Same way there's less stigma in Anglo culture around women using terms of endearment("baby", "babe", "love", "honey")towards total strangers
Makes sense. More experience = less inhibition.
My fixation is rooted in a phobia that's not going anywhere.
Yeah, I've been mistaken for gay. That's irrelevant. It doesn't mean I am gay.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Umm, isn't handsiness (and affectionate behavior in general) most common in Latin cultures?
Yes, because you are desperate to hold onto this like a beggar holds onto his last dollar.
Re-read what I said: In Anglo culture, women generally get more latitude on this front than men do. Obviously, this isn't the case everywhere else on the planet
You refuse to address it by refusing to seek some combination of talk therapy and medication from mental health professionals.Yes, because you are desperate to hold onto this like a beggar holds onto his last dollar.
Why? Who knows. I'd be working OT to overcome it...you'd rather just give up
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.