You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
That's interesting to hear your experience has been the same as mine. I think I recall another poster saying the opposite.
This happens to me, usually at work, heh. It's more of a case by case thing, imo. Younger women tend to be more bashful the older I get.
Four years ago, I trained a handsy 60 year old woman.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Isn't that gay? To look forward to an older woman being handsy with you. I mean, women of that age have hands that are more masculine than the hands of guys who are 40yrs old and younger.
Handsiness could be viewed as an IOI. The topic of a woman's handsiness most certainly fits on a seduction forum.
A woman's touch feels feminine even if she's older (I would know)Isn't that gay? To look forward to an older woman being handsy with you. I mean, women of that age have hands that are more masculine than the hands of guys who are 40yrs old and younger.
No it doesn't. You're one of a handful of 33 year olds on this planet who's hellbent on bedding near/post menopausal women. Your energies will be more well-spent ridding yourself of that fixation
GM has stated elsewhere that folks in RL have, more than once, mistaken him for gayIsn't that gay? To look forward to an older woman being handsy with you. I mean, women of that age have hands that are more masculine than the hands of guys who are 40yrs old and younger.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
This is true. The only way he could rid himself of that fixation is through mental health therapy (likely a combination of medication and talk therapy sessions). He would have to choose to seek the appropriate care for that.
The type of handsiness you're describing isn't especially sexual. It's the sort of casual affection women of all ages in Anglo culture have always enjoyed carte blanche on. Same way there's less stigma in Anglo culture around women using terms of endearment("baby", "babe", "love", "honey")towards total strangers
Makes sense. More experience = less inhibition.
My fixation is rooted in a phobia that's not going anywhere.
Yeah, I've been mistaken for gay. That's irrelevant. It doesn't mean I am gay.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Umm, isn't handsiness (and affectionate behavior in general) most common in Latin cultures?
Yes, because you are desperate to hold onto this like a beggar holds onto his last dollar.
Re-read what I said: In Anglo culture, women generally get more latitude on this front than men do. Obviously, this isn't the case everywhere else on the planet
You refuse to address it by refusing to seek some combination of talk therapy and medication from mental health professionals.Yes, because you are desperate to hold onto this like a beggar holds onto his last dollar.
Why? Who knows. I'd be working OT to overcome it...you'd rather just give up
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.