Gym girl in a relationship giving me IOIs - Thoughts?

[jhonny9546]

Here is a little test you can do next time you see her.....tell her you gotta run because you have a hot date. Pay attention to her reaction but don't react yourself.

This is a good example, how should be her reaction?

 

[Sega Genesis]

This is a good example, how should be her reaction?

I'm not a fan of testing reactions like that, they often backfire.

She may view the "hot date" comment as some sort of 'jealousy shyt test' (I would it's too obvious) and thus respond the exact opposite of what he's hoping or expecting!

JMO but a high value man does not and should not need to tell a woman about other women he's seeing or hot dates he has. A smart woman can see right through that!

I can anyway. Placing him in a less than favorable light. I wouldn't recommend.

That is the type of shyt test game women play and I'm a woman saying this!

Again jmo (and experience with men who have done it).

@BPH just curious but is there an update?

 

[BPH]

@BPH just curious but is there an update?

There's not really one to give; since my last reply, she showed up again, did cardio on the stair stepper next to me while chatting with me, then left for her vacation week-and-a-half. She watched my Instagram stories for the next day or so, and I unsent my follow request. I figure there's a reason she's not accepting it/following me, despite going through the effort to search for me to watch my stories each day, so I pulled that back, rather than give her a little ego boost in the form of my waiting for her approval.

She didn't bring up her "secret", and I didn't pretend I had a hot date because I don't think it would've felt natural.

She'll be back next week, and I can update on how she behaves then.

Otherwise, I had a plate seemingly re-enter (the one who wanted something more serious), and the girl from my 104 post in Ocean City wants me to visit for the weekend, so I have options, as you pointed out. I was just curious about whether there was more to this since this girl engages with me constantly, despite declining my advances.

As @BeExcellent suggested, I'll probably just let everything be her idea and see how far she goes. She's gorgeous, and I'd love to have somebody so close by, but I'm not about to stir the pot at my local gym if she's indecisive or just wants attention.

 

[ValiantMale]

As a man who's gotten IOI's from many women who were in relationships, never buy too into that stuff. What I realized and tested the theory well in, for women it's like window shopping, looking at stuff they won't necessarily buy. Women feel secure in their relationships will have no problem looking at and engaging with other guys.. especially ones they find attractive, but will not necessarily break that boundry of their relationships.

The key is to never give any attention to those women unless you want to be friendzoned. They will keep you as a friend.. and if anything goes wrong with their guy, which alot of times is a very slight chance, they'll maybe give you a chance.. But while you wait, you'll be her emotional support animal, her gym friend, while you constnatly feel teased, and goes home to sleep with her man and give him head , all while you sit in your room thinking about her after the gym...

If the picture I paint isn't enough , let me know.. i can make it alot clearer lol

 

[jhonny9546]

A smart woman can see right through that!

Hmm how?

If the picture I paint isn't enough , let me know.. i can make it alot clearer lol

Everything you say is clear, and it's what experience has taught me too. In my case, however, there was a moment when she wanted to abandon him for me.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Is there a shortage of single fun women without questionable ethics out there?

I’d maintain social proof and tell her to hang out with me with her friends to expand it.
Why focus on a singular woman? The idea is to focus on ourselves

 

[Sega Genesis]

A smart woman can see right through that!

Hmm how?

Innate intuition and basic common sense.

"Innate intuition refers to the inherent ability to understand or know something without conscious reasoning or explicit proof. It's often described as a gut feeling, a hunch, or a sudden insight. While some individuals may be more naturally inclined towards intuitive thinking, it's a skill that can be developed and strengthened through various practices."

To add, there is no reason (imo) for a man to blatantly announce to some chick he's talking to/flirting with at the gym (or anywhere) that he has a "hot date" other than to gauge her reaction (elicit jealousy and competition).

It's a shyt test and a very obvious one. At least to me. Same for women which happens much more often unfortunately.

P.S. @BPH I'm happy to hear you chose to not go that route.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

As @BeExcellent suggested, I'll probably just let everything be her idea and see how far she goes. She's gorgeous, and I'd love to have somebody so close by, but I'm not about to stir the pot at my local gym if she's indecisive or just wants attention.

There's a good chance if left to her devices, her idea is to be indecisive and collect attention. I'd just hang back in the shadows and go for the kill (number) if she dangles any more bait. A chick like this is like a cat. She'd walk all over the counter (i.e., you) if you let her do what she wants.

Do what you did with the IG request, at the gym. Work out in other areas and if she goes out of her way to approach you, feign non-recognition and give her an "Oh, hi..didn't see you there" if she forces herself to get in your face.

Lolz. She may actually respect that move since she's a player herself.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'd just invite her out to do something with you and see what she says.

Maybe she is just an attention wh0re but it seems like she is making an awful lot of effort just for some attention.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

There's not really one to give; since my last reply, she showed up again, did cardio on the stair stepper next to me while chatting with me, then left for her vacation week-and-a-half. She watched my Instagram stories for the next day or so, and I unsent my follow request. I figure there's a reason she's not accepting it/following me, despite going through the effort to search for me to watch my stories each day, so I pulled that back, rather than give her a little ego boost in the form of my waiting for her approval.

She didn't bring up her "secret", and I didn't pretend I had a hot date because I don't think it would've felt natural.

She'll be back next week, and I can update on how she behaves then.

Otherwise, I had a plate seemingly re-enter (the one who wanted something more serious), and the girl from my 104 post in Ocean City wants me to visit for the weekend, so I have options, as you pointed out. I was just curious about whether there was more to this since this girl engages with me constantly, despite declining my advances.

As @BeExcellent suggested, I'll probably just let everything be her idea and see how far she goes. She's gorgeous, and I'd love to have somebody so close by, but I'm not about to stir the pot at my local gym if she's indecisive or just wants attention.

op said he's based in London. or closest restaurant in soho? not sure but Connecticut recently had its own Castro brother go through ownership. if anything be should school us on the ways of the super model. Haha.

 

[Drmuscular]

She does show some of signs of simply being a "timewaster".

She’s shown clear signs of interest (approaching you at the gym, doing cardio next to you, starting conversations), but mixed signals too. like watching your stories without following you back. That could be a test to see if you’ll chase her, or she may just enjoy the attention, maybe to avoid boyfriend asking about you. Unfollowing was good.

Stick to your plan of mirror her effort when she returns. Pay attention to whether she initiates, brings up the “secret” or shows increased interest. Don’t chase or force anything. If she invests more, consider escalating gradually with kino or invite her out for something. If she stays ambiguous, focus on other plates remember if she is even worth the trouble if her bf does actually exists and works out there. The key is making her feel like she has to earn your attention which you have done a good job so far, but don't let her pull you into chasing.

 

[jhonny9546]

@Sega Genesis


So what you're saying is that if a man ****-tests a woman, then she'll be able to determine whether or not the man is being sincere or faking it.

That said, you haven't said whether this ****-testing makes him a "valuable" man in her eyes, regardless.

That could be a test to see if you’ll chase her, or she may just enjoy the attention, maybe to avoid boyfriend asking about you. Unfollowing was good.

Even though women can seem selfish, they might actually be shy, insecure, or afraid to make the right moves, just like many men. On social media, people often don’t like or message those they’re interested in out of fear, but you can see them interact freely with friends, putting them likes or commenting with a heart.


They tend to keep their feelings hidden, quietly watching your life without reacting. I knew a woman who didn’t like my posts but always watched my stories. When I had big life changes or achievements, she showed up in places I frequented just to say hi or be around. That’s FOMO and if she has FOMO for you, it’s a stronger sign than likes or follows.


Watching your stories means she’s interested, but what really counts is how she REACTS in real life.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I'd just invite her out to do something with you and see what she says.

Maybe she is just an attention wh0re but it seems like she is making an awful lot of effort just for some attention.

I second this.

A no is the second best outcome. Get it out of the way for both of you.

 

[SW15]

She does show some of signs of simply being a "timewaster".

I dislike time wasters like that. They were around even in the times before smartphones and social media.

mixed signals

Mixed signals are never good.

 

[Sega Genesis]

you haven't said whether this ****-testing makes him a "valuable" man in her eyes, regardless.

You must've missed this:

A smart woman can see right through that!
I can anyway. Placing him in a less than favorable light. I wouldn't recommend.

If you need something more clear, no shyt testing certainly does not make him more valuable, the opposite.

It's feminine behavior, it's what women do.

Thankfully @BPH understands this and decided against.

P.S I'm basically off this forum, but I wanted to respond to your question.

 

[Sega Genesis]

One last.

A no is the second best outcome. Get it out of the way for both of you.

I agree with this^^. Mode One her, respectfully.

 

[BPH]

I second this.

A no is the second best outcome. Get it out of the way for both of you.

One last.



I agree with this^^. Mode One her, respectfully.

Thing is, I've already given her 2 chances to show me she's interested; first when I introduced myself and she revealed that she was in a relationship, then again when I asked for her number after she kept giving me attention and going out of her way to engage me.

I have come away with her number exactly zero times.

She's still on vacation, so I can update you guys when/if something changes when she's back, but otherwise I like @BeExcellent 's suggestion of letting her come to me, and having things be her idea from now on.

 

[SW15]

having things be her idea from now on.

This can work. You have the abundance to pull this off.

 

[Divorced w 3]

One last.



I agree with this^^. Mode One her, respectfully.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Thing is, I've already given her 2 chances to show me she's interested; first when I introduced myself and she revealed that she was in a relationship, then again when I asked for her number after she kept giving me attention and going out of her way to engage me.

I have come away with her number exactly zero times.

She's still on vacation, so I can update you guys when/if something changes when she's back, but otherwise I like @BeExcellent 's suggestion of letting her come to me, and having things be her idea from now on.

Again bro, this chicks' idea is to milk you for attention/have you as a back-back-backup plan. You gotta force the issue by making yourself scarce. Simply going about your business normally will retain the status quo, which has gotten nowhere so far despite her repeated attempts to give you the impression things were going somewhere when they weren't. Read that last sentence again, it bears repeating.