Got turned down by woman on OLD. Feel indifferent about it.

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With OLD, we say we are indifferent and we may very well think that. But deep down, maybe subconsciously, it does bother us and it does take a toll.

Let's stop kidding ourselves and trying to convince OLD is in any way beneficial to men. We know the algorithms, we know the mindset, and we know the behavior patterns, why are we still trying to convince ourselves that we are indifferent? Maybe numb but deep down it is detrimental.

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Then don't use it lol. OLD literally lives rent free in guys heads for some reason. I don't like cold approaching or going to bars and clubs...Is every other one of my posts complaining about clubs and cold approaching...NO lol
 

Barrister

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Who cares? Not trying to be flippant, OP, but this kind of thing happens nonstop on OLD regardless of how good looking you are and how much money you have. It is one of the most superficial mechanisms known to man and it is 100% in the female's favor. You will be batting a solid 1-2 points below your own SMV on OLD. You will get rejected by women who you would barely notice IRL.

Best advice is like @EyeBRollin said to toughen up. Use OLD understanding the above, and start cold approaching where you pull hotter and younger far more so than OLD. OLD should just be for snagging some low hanging fruit for breaking dry spells honestly. Once I went strictly to cold-approaching the quality of women I was with went up significantly.
 
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Rejection upfront on OLD is the best because you save time and money. The worst thing about OLD IMHO is getting ghosted after the first date because you didn't meet her BS Disney expectations.
 

Robert28

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Are y'all actively cold approaching women or something aside from using OLD? I really can't understand how y'all can take rejection from cold approaching a stranger but be upset over a rejection on OLD lol. It makes zero sense lol.
I’ve had MUCH worse rejections from cold approaching than I have OLD. That’s why I hardly ever do cold approaching, that **** stays with you. I could be standing next to a beautiful women, even if she’s looking at me out the side of her eyes, I’m not speaking to her. Not worth the risk. I’ve had so many women brutally turn me down even after THEY initiated conversations with me. Case in point, girl was cutting my hair and I just wanted to sit there and relax and say nothing. She starts asking me personal questions (so what do you do, does that pay well, are you single, ever been married, kids?, own your own house?) not small talk at all. Asked for her number and she coldly shot me down “ummm no thanks”. I was like well dang ok.
 

Robert28

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You have to get used to rejection. Also, do the shvt that women do. When I started double and triple booking dates, and standing broads up, my success went up.
You never get used to rejection. It’s a myth, I still think about rejections I had back over the years and they bother me to this day. That’s like saying “you’ll get used to abuse eventually, just stick with it!”.
 

oldmanofthesea

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You never get used to rejection. It’s a myth, I still think about rejections I had back over the years and they bother me to this day. That’s like saying “you’ll get used to abuse eventually, just stick with it!”.
Not in my case. I have been rejected by plenty of women and it doesn't bother me in the least. I reject hundreds if not thousands of women every day, by walking by them as I go about my day and not taking the opportunity to cold approach them because I don't find them attractive. Then when I do find a woman attractive, I approach her. If she isn't interested in me, that's fine. Doesn't hurt my feelings in the least. Why would I base my sense of self-worth and value on whether or not a random female stranger is or isn't interested in going on a date with me?

It used to bother me before I understood the rational vs irrational mindset around women rejecting you. But once I realized just how ridiculous it is for me to devalue myself because a woman who doesn't even know me has said she doesn't want to go out on a date with me, that's when it no longer bothered me. If I am out of practice with cold approach because I've been in a relationship for a while, there are a small amount of nerves right before doing the approach, but once it is done, if she says she isn't interested, it literally doesn't effect me one bit.

Say a woman only likes overweight red heads and you don't fit that mold. Why on earth should you feel less about yourself because she says she isn't interested in you?! Or maybe she has a boyfriend already. Or maybe she only dates really young or really old guys and you are neither. Maybe she only likes guys of an ethnicity that you aren't. Do you really expect yourself to be attractive to every woman on the planet, and if you aren't, then you should be ashamed of yourself and think less of yourself? You see how ridiculous that mindset is?

If you have rejections that bother you to this day, that is something you should face head-on. It's not healthy.
 
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EyeBRollin

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You never get used to rejection. It’s a myth, I still think about rejections I had back over the years and they bother me to this day. That’s like saying “you’ll get used to abuse eventually, just stick with it!”.
No myth. I don’t even remember all my rejections. There’s always a younger, hotter girl.
 

Zimbabwe

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Would you guys pay for a service that "talks" to these girls and schedules dates with them?

I totally would. OLD sounds like a waste of time and a big ego blow. An affordable service like that would be huge
A definitely would pay for a service that does all the initial leg work when it comes to finding girls and setting up dates, would save a lot of time.
 

Robert28

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To win with OLD in America as an average guy you have to be a psychopath or have psychopath tendencies
To have luck with dating in general, not just OLD.
 

SW15

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Let's stop kidding ourselves and trying to convince OLD is in any way beneficial to men. We know the algorithms, we know the mindset, and we know the behavior patterns, why are we still trying to convince ourselves that we are indifferent? Maybe numb but deep down it is detrimental.
Life has been more peaceful and less stressful since I stopped using dating apps as a means of arranging dates.

Get rejected more often. Need to go through volume.
Disagree. Dating is not a volume game. Volume means jack shiit if you're not doing the right things. It is better to focus on doing the right things that will limit the number of rejections and failed interactions.

A definitely would pay for a service that does all the initial leg work when it comes to finding girls and setting up dates, would save a lot of time.
Those services already exist and have existed for years.

With OLD, I have learned to never comply with a girl's request for more pics or even more information about me.

The second is that I find that women who do this are looking for reasons to disqualify you and are not serious about dating or meeting up. Before I wised up, I found that any time a girl asks you for more information about you or more pics etc, as soon as you provide it, they next you. Most of these women are probably not going out on any dates with anyone and are just looking for an excuse to stay home. This behavior falls into a common pattern many people exhibit - one in which you find excuses and reasons not to do something due to underlying psychological reasons such as fear. Example: A guy goes out with friends to a nightclub to meet women, but when faced with the decision to approach a hot girl, he says, "oh she's not my type" instead of approaching her, in order to ease his fear/anxiety, even if she is totally his type. This is exactly what many women do on OLD.
I agree 100% with this. Never comply with the request. Also Iron Rule of Tomassi #1 is that Frame is Everything.

Interacting with women via swipe app or social media platform is a lot like interacting with HR in any communication mode in a job search. HR cannot hire you, they can only look for reasons to screen you out. Coincidentally, a lot of women work in HR.

Same goes for when girls ask you about your hobbies or what you do for work etc. Believe me, the LESS you say about yourself over the dating apps, the better. Be fun, funny, and playful. Dodge the questions in a playful and funny way. Like when she asks you what you do in your time off, tell her you volunteer at a no-kill shelter for fruits and vegetables or that you dive shipwrecks for sunken treasure or whatever. Meeting in-person is the right time and place to discuss more about yourself, and for her to better see how you look and move. You should be choosing photos for your profile that show you well - without sunglasses, without baggy clothes, without tons of filters, without being far away etc. If you do that there is no reason she should need to see additional photos.
Yes, this is accurate. Nothing much good can come out of extended interactions from behind an electronic screen. Avoid it.

To win with OLD in America as an average guy you have to be a psychopath or have psychopath tendencies
To have luck with dating in general, not just OLD.
Roosh had a great article about that exact topic in 2015.

 
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EyeBRollin

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Disagree. Dating is not a volume game. Volume means jack shiit if you're not doing the right things. It is better to focus on doing the right things that will limit the number of rejections and failed interactions.
That’s a false choice. Even the best at pulling still get rejected a lot. You have to put the work in. That means getting rejected.
 

SW15

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That’s a false choice. Even the best at pulling still get rejected a lot. You have to put the work in. That means getting rejected.
Rejection is essentially unavoidable but it's not a good idea to be taking too many L's without any W's mixed in.
 

BillyPilgrim

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OP, what did this chick look like out of curiosity? What was her background?
 

SW15

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Why is it not a good idea?
Has the potential to be psychologically very damaging. Traumatic. I got evaluated for PTSD by a mental health professional in part due to dating related traumas. A lot of those "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions caused trauma in me. Not to the standard of passing the PTSD diagnosis threshold.

Even though I didn't have PTSD, I still had psychologically damaging trauma that I needed to address with a mental health professional for years in therapy. I had other traumas, including childhood relocations, school bullying, and a bad divorce between my parents too. My parents never set a healthy example for me.
 
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