Hey,
I finally took the courage and asked out this seemingly perfect HB10 at work (long legs, great body, classy, well read, head turner looks).
No texting ****. Been flirting a bit for past 3-4 days and finally decided to take my shot.
I asked her for a moment, and then told her i found her intelligent and attractive and would like to know her more..asked for a date.etc.
Got turned down, politely.
I walked away. Hurt but feeling good to be able to finally move on . Rejection is part of life and am still learning the Don Juan ways..
Halfway back home on way to the Gym , i realized this was the most attractive woman i had come across till date...what if i never come across some one as attractive and awesome again..and somehow this irrational mindset has stuck eith me since. Its been a few days.
How do i get out of this mindset that I'll never meet another amazing HB10 again?
You have the right mindset but in the wrong playground.
There’s always going to be other HB10’s coming across your bow.
When you set the bar high and take a shot, even if you hit an 8 or a 9, you’re not going to have irrational thoughts but a sore Johnson
She was sh1t testing you and you lost the frame. You could have said "I don't take no for an answer" in a suave and firm tone and look straight at her with a sly smile. See, that is like maintainin frame. If she really rejected you then there would have been an HR compaint. If there is no HR complaint, she sh1t tested you.
Am in a conservative country. Workplace is one of the few places to get women (outside of that there are limited and only a few places where you can approach women without getting beaten to pulp by people or the cops called on you), and some of the best ones you meet here will be there, at work.
Workplace rules are cool with you asking out a colleague, but only once, if they say no -- any further pestering =harassment.
Besides, i was re-reading the book of pook and that man explicitly stated he gets his woman from workplace. So..if that dude who is a legend says its okay, its okay by the rules, its okay by me.
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She was sh1t testing you and you lost the frame. You could have said "I don't take no for an answer" in a suave and firm tone and look straight at her with a sly smile. See, that is like maintainin frame. If she really rejected you then there would have been an HR compaint. If there is no HR complaint, she sh1t tested you.
She wasn't particularly responsive but particularly unresponsive either. Perhaps she was being polite. Doesn't matter. If she was displaying all the signs of interest I could have said that without a sexual harassment complaint up my ass but she wasn't.
You have the right mindset but in the wrong playground.
There’s always going to be other HB10’s coming across your bow.
When you set the bar high and take a shot, even if you hit an 8 or a 9, you’re not going to have irrational thoughts but a sore Johnson
I hear you about the 8' and 9's...but man when a 10 walks in...all other just look .. comparitively .
less appealing.
I understand you gotta apply the standards to yourself, so been lifting weights and working on career alongside game..
But still, i do this weird thing that i hate, now I'm gonna be matching up every girl i meet with her , as she is the new "standard" that i have to meet or beat. Its not an ego thing, more like a ..."i want something but can i get it if i apply myself?" thing.
Not saying won't be open to 7-9s but i truly desire , a 10. I don't care how much work i have to out into it, if i have to climb mount everest for it or become an effin Astronaut, i will see it through and do it.
Am in a conservative country. Workplace is one of the few places to get women (outside of that there are limited and only a few places where you can approach women without getting beaten to pulp by people or the cops called on you), and some of the best ones you meet here will be there, at work.
Workplace rules are cool with you asking out a colleague, but only once, if they say no -- any further pestering =harassment.
Besides, i was re-reading the book of pook and that man explicitly stated he gets his woman from workplace. So..if that dude who is a legend says its okay, its okay by the rules, its okay by me.
He is just a man, one who wrote a book but never even practiced his kwb theory in real life. That's your first issue: you follow another man without even knowing the ins and outs about that man. He's a charlatan at best, and his material is almost 20 years old by now.
Secondly an hb10 doesn't exist.
Thirdly you don't poop where you eat.
And finally, if you do wanna approach women then go in with confidence. Do uou feel like YOU are a 10? If not, then why even approach one who appears to be way out of your league?
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I hear you about the 8' and 9's...but man when a 10 walks in...all other just look .. comparitively .
less appealing.
I understand you gotta apply the standards to yourself, so been lifting weights and working on career alongside game..
But still, i do this weird thing that i hate, now I'm gonna be matching up every girl i meet with her , as she is the new "standard" that i have to meet or beat. Its not an ego thing, more like a ..."i want something but can i get it if i apply myself?" thing.
Not saying won't be open to 7-9s but i truly desire , a 10. I don't care how much work i have to out into it, if i have to climb mount everest for it or become an effin Astronaut, i will see it through and do it.
Secondly I would rather have a 7 than an 8 or a 9. Far easier to deal with and way less crap to put up with.
The reason most guys end up in fvcked up relationships is because they massively overvalue looks and massively undervalue other traits that are more important to have for a quality relationship.
Halfway back home on way to the Gym , i realized this was the most attractive woman i had come across till date...what if i never come across some one as attractive and awesome again..and somehow this irrational mindset has stuck eith me since. Its been a few days.
When you find a woman that blows your brains out this is how you feel. But you must realize that keeping your frame intact and your mindset in place will lead you to get dates with women like that. You are way too deep in the frame of her being hot and not focusing on what she has to bring to the table besides p3ussy and if she is even interesting.
How do i get out of this mindset that I'll never meet another amazing HB10 again?
Drop this insecurity. Many HB10 in this world. Focus on your frame and your self.
The way you behave is like she is the queen of the hill and you are a peasant rubbing her legs. It does not matter how hot the woman is. What matters is how you show up as most guys act the way you do.
But i get it that when you have a hot 10 in front of your eyes and you never had one you can't handle it. But you need to learn to handle it.
Secondly I would rather have a 7 than an 8 or a 9. Far easier to deal with and way less crap to put up with.
The reason most guys end up in fvcked up relationships is because they massively overvalue looks and massively undervalue other traits that are more important to have for a quality relationship.
As for your opinion on going for 7 than an 8 or 9, i understand where you are coming from and its sensible.
To each his own though and respectfully i don't share the same views. 9s and 10s are also banging some guy and many of them are in LTR with or married to some bloke happily. 9s and 10s have more crap to deal with sounds like what Mark Manson wrote about in Models "The stories we tell ourselves".
I would rather work hard to "level up" to be that guy instead of "lower expectations". I don't mean an HB7 is "lower" than an HB10 in any way except in terms of the unsympathetic world of dating (atleast in the initial stages).
Yeah, overvaluing looks can be a blindspot. As long as you value looks, are able to keep a striaght head (not getting blinded by them) and have put in the work to provide enough value in return -- i don't see why wanting looks can be bad.
No one is saying looks in an end all and be all -- even in an HB10 isn't necessarily a Victoria Secrets model, if she is dumb she will not be an HB10 (atleast in my book) merely a 10 in looks.
She can be a regular , really great looking girl with a nice intellectual brain and she'll be an HB10.
1. Don't mess with co-workers. This is undisputed fact. Just don't.
2. Getting rejected is more common than you think. So don't take it too seriously. In fact, be proud for having made a move. At least you took your chances, that's something beta loser soyboys never have the guts to do.
You're putting this girl on a pedestal, that's your problem (count the times you used amazing, awesome in OP referring to her). She may be physically attractive (just like plenty other girls), but you don't know her enough so don't assume she's a once in a lifetime opportunity that just got away from you.
You're putting this girl on a pedestal, that's your problem (count the times you used amazing, awesome in OP referring to her). She may be physically attractive (just like plenty other girls), but you don't know her enough so don't assume she's a once in a lifetime opportunity that just got away from you.
Give it 10 years. The most attractive women I have known.... looks fade... every "most attractive" woman I have known is always replaced by a younger more attractive woman sooner or later. The personality is all that remains. Also, after you know a girl, she becomes more human and at least for me, one can start to see the flaws. Infatuation hides flaws
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When a woman, any woman really, rejects you you've got to look at it as being her loss and really feel that way. When you ask a woman out you are offering her the possibility of having a great evening with a great guy. If she fails to recognize that then it's her loss. It doesn't mean you're a loser or that every other woman on the planet would have reacted the same way. Even the most elite guys get shot down so you are always going to be in select company when it happens to you. Just don't be someone who assumes the worst about himself and then uses that as an excuse to never take another swing for the fences.
As others said, dating coworkers is a dangerous game to play. I'd argue that she may have actually done you a favor by rejecting you, due to the potential disaster that can stem from dating a coworker.
As for handling rejection, don't look at every woman as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. That only puts pressure on yourself, and unjustified pressure at that. She may be a babe in your workplace, but there are plenty more attractive women in the outside world. This is not high school. You do not fantasize about your one and only "crush" and find the right way to confess your feelings to her; instead you put yourself in situations where women are abundant and they compete with each other (knowingly or not) to be yours.
She was sh1t testing you and you lost the frame. You could have said "I don't take no for an answer" in a suave and firm tone and look straight at her with a sly smile. See, that is like maintainin frame. If she really rejected you then there would have been an HR compaint. If there is no HR complaint, she sh1t tested you.
You give some really good advice. Telling a woman you work with that you don't take no for an answer sounds like a great idea.
P.S. perhaps you could send the OP the contact information of that Chinese lady that called you by accident? You didn't pass her sh!t tests but perhaps the OP will...
When a woman, any woman really, rejects you you've got to look at it as being her loss and really feel that way. When you ask a woman out you are offering her the possibility of having a great evening with a great guy. If she fails to recognize that then it's her loss. It doesn't mean you're a loser or that every other woman on the planet would have reacted the same way. Even the most elite guys get shot down so you are always going to be in select company when it happens to you. Just don't be someone who assumes the worst about himself and then uses that as an excuse to never take another swing for the fences.
you also have to look it as being her loss because only walking around with that mentality gets you success with women right? If I adapt the mindset that I’m not good enough then how can I ever attract a woman? Woman want men that they feel are above them. If I give the vibe that I’m below her I’m out.
This applies to many situations. When I lost frame and a girl is losing interest, I cannot feel that I’m lesser than her and that i need to win her over. This mindset alone worsens the situation and ultimately takes away any chance to make anything romantic work with that girl.
How do you know she's an awesome girl? Just because she has a nice body and nice face? Men like your deserve to be rejected, until you change that attitude for real.
