escaleraroyal
Master Don Juan
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Elaborate pls
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Got kicked out of supermarket
- Thread starter escaleraroyal
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Bokanovsky
Master Don Juan
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You joined in 2008 and have 374 posts, so I'm assuming you are not a troll.
Do you really not see how it's weird to approach random people with a line about chicken wings at Costco? The woman probably thought you had mental issues.
WanderingMan
Senior Don Juan
lol'd numerous times on this thread
What's the typical response, OP? I'm trying to put myself in her shoes and can't really imagine what she would be thinking.
She probably thought O.P. was a "vegetable" himself.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
escaleraroyal
Master Don Juan
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Thanks guys for the input
WanderingMan
Senior Don Juan
Seriously, have you really used that opener and it's worked? Trying to understand.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Girls like men who eat beef.
escaleraroyal
Master Don Juan
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Yes, it has. Multiple times.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
WanderingMan
Senior Don Juan
how do they respond? Can you provide a few examples?
BeExcellent
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Strange. Creepy. Odd. Mentally ill. Unstable.
Those are the descriptors that enter my mind...especially if you are smiling while saying this nonsense.
Imaginary friend? Potentially dangerous...off base...
That's how it would come off to a chick. Good looking women who stand out deal with an outrageous amount of really creepy behavior.
Much better strategy (should work well in Costco) would be:
"Hi. Do you happen to know where the peanut butter is in here? I can never find anything..."
You're welcome.
ChristopherColumbus
Master Don Juan
At a supermarket? Want an opener? Get a can opener off the shelf, and ask her if she knows how it works?
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
escaleraroyal, is this in North America, or in another country? I get a vibe it's another county and I'm guessing English isn't your primary language? I may be wrong... just a hunch. How old are you by the way?
I think a more effective approach is to mention something that's more immediate to your surroundings, something that is more relatable to her.
"You remind me of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz the way you're holding that basket"
"Looks like you're making something delicious for dinner tonight! May I come over?"
Things like that.
One tip I posted a couple years ago that is nuclear is my "Don't Look" approach. When you see a woman looking around on a shelf at the store, look around next to her and say something like "They always stop carrying the things that I like" or anything else that has to do with shopping. They key is to NOT look at her and to say it as if you're saying it to a guy. This comes across as very non-threatening to her, plus it's easy for a man to do. I am the inventor of this technique and require $1.00 sent to my PayPal account every time it's used, and that goes for all of you reading this!
But seriously, try the "Don't Look" approach. It is amazingly effective and easy to build upon. If you approach more directly, talk about something that is going on around you, not something you did before. That screams out "Pickup" and it also shows a simplistic and contrived way of doing it. If you talk about something that is in your immediate surroundings, it shows that you can think on your feet.
I think a more effective approach is to mention something that's more immediate to your surroundings, something that is more relatable to her.
"You remind me of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz the way you're holding that basket"
"Looks like you're making something delicious for dinner tonight! May I come over?"
Things like that.
One tip I posted a couple years ago that is nuclear is my "Don't Look" approach. When you see a woman looking around on a shelf at the store, look around next to her and say something like "They always stop carrying the things that I like" or anything else that has to do with shopping. They key is to NOT look at her and to say it as if you're saying it to a guy. This comes across as very non-threatening to her, plus it's easy for a man to do. I am the inventor of this technique and require $1.00 sent to my PayPal account every time it's used, and that goes for all of you reading this!
But seriously, try the "Don't Look" approach. It is amazingly effective and easy to build upon. If you approach more directly, talk about something that is going on around you, not something you did before. That screams out "Pickup" and it also shows a simplistic and contrived way of doing it. If you talk about something that is in your immediate surroundings, it shows that you can think on your feet.
nismo-4
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This is the truth. To her, she was sexually harassed.
If he were a muscular millionaire, she would write it as friendly flirting.
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
nismo-4
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OP, she didn't find you attractive. When a woman finds you unattractive, she labels everything you do and say as such.
Conversely, when she does find you attractive, suddenly your ability to unlock every achievement on NBA 2K17 and Madden is sexy to her.
Hey, when I was in college, chicks thought I was sexy even though I either drove my Nissan Sentra or Dodge Intrepid. This was in 2004 when I had some popularity. I even got girls' numbers while playing my Game Boy Advance.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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That's what Mystery did, though.
WanderingMan
Senior Don Juan
not really though, what he said had some purpose or end meaning, it would lead to a conversation.
How is what you described here related to what OP described? Is the OP unattractive, is that why the lady didn't understand what he said?
nismo-4
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Point is, if she likes you and is interested, she'll make it easy and not confuse you. Guess what the opposite is?
WanderingMan
Senior Don Juan
How is she supposed to like you or be interested when you're a random stranger and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is complete gibble garble?
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.