Caldus
Senior Don Juan
So I've never really gone to a bar alone before. Maybe this will encourage me to pick up a girl tonight. Anybody have good tips for this sort of thing?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
If you've got the skills, then you'll have potential for more action when going alone but you gotta be damn good. I've been going alone lately as a challenge to myself (actually, it's because my friends are pussies and won't go) and I've have some very good fortune. I've found though that you MUST go in w/ a positive attitude and keep smiling. You don't wanna look like a lonely creep. You've gotta come across as someone who is so indipendent and confident that you don't need anyone else to have a good time.Caldus said:So I've never really gone to a bar alone before. Maybe this will encourage me to pick up a girl tonight. Anybody have good tips for this sort of thing?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
If thats the case then you should give the Mystery Method a shot. Its bread and butter is about how to approach and disarm a group so you can eventually isolate your target.Turncoat said:That, or i suck at engaging groups, which is perhaps the case...but i've had massive success with the alone ones.