Going into 30s. Give me old sage advice.

[BackInTheGame78]

To all the older men. How do you determine if another guy is trust worthy and loyal? I’m struggling with this as 99% of dudes have ducked me over or did some weak snake **** to me in the oast

To some degree you'll never know until you find yourself in that situation with them for them to do that.

However, you could talk about scenarios that you've been in and get their take on it...basically they will tell you what they likely would do without knowing you are seeing what type of character they have.

Something like "Man, you ever been in one of them situations where you are out and it's you and a few friends and some guys are trying to start a fight? That happened to me a while back and it was kinda crazy."

They will likely tell you about their situation and then you can ask questions from there that give you what you need to know

 

[DJ Novice]

My only regret is not sleeping with enough women before I got married in terms of staying in relationships well past their use by date.
Don’t regret my marriage and divorce.
My marriage gave me two great boys and a lifetime of memories with them. I loved and still love fatherhood.
My divorce has given me the opportunity to date new women at age 56 when many other guys in the same age bracket are in stale marriages or LTRs where desire and s*x is non existent or with both parties just going through the motions.
Dating new women is awesome.
It’s all good.

 

[Mertz09]

My only regret is not sleeping with enough women before I got married in terms of staying in relationships well past their use by date.
Don’t regret my marriage and divorce.
My marriage gave me two great boys and a lifetime of memories with them. I loved and still love fatherhood.
My divorce has given me the opportunity to date new women at age 56 when many other guys in the same age bracket are in stale marriages or LTRs where desire and s*x is non existent or with both parties just going through the motions.
Dating new women is awesome.
It’s all good.

Unfortunately, That seems to be "How things are these days with Men & Women" Nothing seems to last. What you described is very similar to my marriage. Now I will be the 1st to say that at least half of that was on Me. I'll own it.
And I agree "Dating new women is awesome."
But be carful.

 

[Mertz09]

My only regret is not sleeping with enough women before I got married in terms of staying in relationships well past their use by date.
Don’t regret my marriage and divorce.
My marriage gave me two great boys and a lifetime of memories with them. I loved and still love fatherhood.
My divorce has given me the opportunity to date new women at age 56 when many other guys in the same age bracket are in stale marriages or LTRs where desire and s*x is non existent or with both parties just going through the motions.
Dating new women is awesome.
It’s all good.

"My only regret is not sleeping with enough women before I got married"

And how many was that? Just curious.... I'm interested in the Human dynamic. LOL

 

[Manure Spherian]

1. No one cares if you are dead or alive.

Do you have friends and family?

 

[DJ Novice]

I only slept with around 6 women (that I can recall) before I got married in my early 30s.

 

[Desdinova]

Aim for financial freedom as early as possible. Once you outright own your home and a couple of cars, everything else is just gravy.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Don't cave under the pressure of being compared to your peers, striving to be the dumbest guy in the room at all times means you are giving yourself lots of room to grow and develop.

 

[manfrombelow]

Unfortunately, That seems to be "How things are these days with Men & Women" Nothing seems to last. What you described is very similar to my marriage. Now I will be the 1st to say that at least half of that was on Me. I'll own it.
And I agree "Dating new women is awesome."
But be carful.

Bro, how old are you, if I may ask?

 

[manfrombelow]

Basically my advice with women is don’t be pushed around, and their pushing around is different to ours. They use dirty tactics.

Not saying I'm experienced or anything, but after more than a decade of having numerous ups and downs with women, I am 100% certain that at core, they are naturally cowards. They are petty, mean, superficial, shallow, annoying, childish, and yes, like to play dirty.

As men, expect only sex and fun from them, not honor or sh!t like that. That concept is meaningless to women.

 

[Mertz09]

Bro, how old are you, if I may ask?

Old enough to know better, But still too young to care! LOL

 

[Mertz09]

Not saying I'm experienced or anything, but after more than a decade of having numerous ups and downs with women, I am 100% certain that at core, they are naturally cowards. They are petty, mean, superficial, shallow, annoying, childish, and yes, like to play dirty.

As men, expect only sex and fun from them, not honor or sh!t like that. That concept is meaningless to women.

“A woman should only ever be a compliment to a man’s life, Not the focus of a man’s life.

 

[zekko]

When we (at least during my era) date women twenty six and a little older, they have likely felt let down. Their friends are either getting married, engaged or have found someone serious. Meanwhile, the single twenty six and up female may have been recently jilted or isn't happy about their circumstances (in some cases, you'll discover why no one swooped them up) .

In other words, their biological clock is ticking.

Become a monk. Nobody cares what you look like and you can brew your own beer.

Probably depends on the monastery.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

How do you guys deal with falling out friendship? I’m a loyal dude but I seem to be outgrowing and not interested in the things. My old hs buddies are into

 

[sangheilios]

@Thebestthereeveris

Not sure if this has been mentioned on here.

IF you find a woman that you are attracted to and have some degree of personal compatibility with who would make a solid long term partner you should seriously consider locking her down. Women are typically settling into longer term relationships by the time they are in their mid to late 20s and very likely considering marriage and/or children in the not too distant future. All of this is based upon biological programming, as they have a fertility window that men simply do not have.

I think one of the biggest issues is that since men don't experience this biological clock they think they have all the time in the world, next thing you know they are 35 and still single. A man in this age range could do well with is finances, be in shape, etc. but that doesn't change the fact that all of the women that are realistically available to him that he would be interested in are already married or in serious relationships going towards that direction.

I don't care what anyone tells you, it's going to become increasingly more difficult as you get older to find women that you like, that also like you AND are single/available. This also isn't even factoring in personal compatibility and stuff along those lines.

I'm 6'4", currently a little under 230 and been very fit/athletic just about my entire adult life. I'm 34 now and have found it impossible to land anything. You should seriously consider what I wrote and think deeply on this.

 

[sangheilios]

1. Talent or natural ability is everything. If you’re not naturally good at something, pick something else. Otherwise, you’ll burn yourself out and still barely be average.

2. The workplace will try to take advantage of you if they know you are single and childless. They assume you have all the free time in the world to just work lol.

3. Don’t try to “make up for lost time” if you are a late bloomer with women. In that case, just find a good chick and call it a day or worst case stay single.

I totally agree with all of your comments on here, but I can especially relate to #1 and #3.

I was never good at making friends or scamming my way into getting women to like me lol, so I eventually gave up and just focused on other things. When I was putting a lot of effort into that I found my mental health was honestly deteriorating when I was getting nowhere with it. Meanwhile, I was seeing loser/phony men with nothing backing them up actually getting dates, relationships, etc. and it just didn't make sense to me. I gave up and not only was my mental health better but I was happier and much more successful.

 

[NoSure91]

@Thebestthereeveris

I'm 6'4", currently a little under 230 and been very fit/athletic just about my entire adult life. I'm 34 now and have found it impossible to land anything. You should seriously consider what I wrote and think deeply on this.

uh is it really that bad? Iam currently considering leaving my marraige at 38 but this make me feel iam going to be unhappy either way. Depressing., Iam also 6.4, six figure income etc. and not bad looking but i guess age is a real thing. Good luck to you brother.

 

[Bingo-Player]

@Thebestthereeveris

I'm 6'4", currently a little under 230 and been very fit/athletic just about my entire adult life. I'm 34 now and have found it impossible to land anything. You should seriously consider what I wrote and think deeply on this.

Your social circles and social status isnt strong enough then or your in an area that is too small

the rest is completely irrelevant doesn't matter how tall or jacked you are if you aren't in the right places you'll never meet enough women

You really really need to start making an effort to develop circles with others in their mid - late 20's and early 30's if you have to move to an area thats more socially active so be it

I would say for a single man in his 30's this is probably more important than a career

DO NOT be that guy in his 30's who's just aimlessly hanging around his hometown doing work/gym/sleep when everyone else is settled

it wont be easy but if you don't it will become ridiculously difficult to even find the right types of women outside of dating apps

 

[logicallefty]

- Don't believe something because THEY say so. Learn who THEY are & what "THEY's" motive might be. THEY are not usually on your side.
- Many people are only out to maximize their resources for the minimum amount work. Protect what you have, especially with women.
- Educate yourself on psychology and especially Cluster-B personality disorders. Tred carefully with them in women, work, etc.
- Educate yourself in some basic law. People will try to fvck you over and learn to spot it and stand up to them without a lawyer.
- Avoid or significantly minimize sugar and processed foods.
- Work hard at your job but don't let your employeer own you. If they take too much of your time & energy, eject and find another job.
- Build yourself more than one career if possible, so if you get bored with one you can jump into the other.
- When it comes to women, attention is your #1 currency. Learn when to give them attention, and when & how long to pull back.
- Do not engage in stressful arguments with irrational people. Just say "We will have to agree to disagree on that" & that's it.
- People will try to downplay your achievments to make their own miserable lives sound better. Don't take it personally.
- Verbal conversations mean nothing. The gentleman's handshake is a thing of the past. If it's important, it needs to be in WRITING.
- If you don't like where you are living, move. The area you live in can impact your life far more than you may ever think.
- Don't buy a house if you want to be able to move quickly. Don't assume you will make a profit when you do buy a house.
- A car payment is easiesr to budget than many repairs. Buy a new car, drive it until about 120k miles, and trade it in.
- Minimize your time on social media. Not only does it waste your time but the sh|t you post is never deleted & may bite you later.
- You have to take some risks sometimes. Own your mistakes & make the best of your successes.
- If you're fat, you can fix that. But if you're short, have a small d|ck, ugly, etc., there's little or nothing you can do; work w/ what ya got.
- Some people will always have it better than you, and some will always have it worse.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

Honestly the best in the thread so far. Thanks for the wisdom. Agree heavily with family part. I’ve been ****ed over so many times by men and women. Only trust myself and maybe my gf. Maybe

Well can't even trust gf