Going into 30s. Give me old sage advice.

[Thebestthereeveris]

Just turned 28 and holy **** how did I get here? Time flies and it’s going by faster. I’ve decided on a career path and have my body in check along with knowing which girls are good and bad (I have a gf now). What are some things you wished you knew in your 20s or 30s that I’d you did your life would be significantly better? Please no bitter outlooks unless it’s to marriage which I’m NOT doing.
The older you get the happier or bitter you become. How did you live your life and what regrets did you have?

 

[manfrombelow]

There have been numerous threads about asking for advices from seniors.

I'm in my mid 30's, here I go again:

1. Women should only be a compliment, not a main focus, in your life.
2. You should be happy and get your sh!t together before getting into a romantic & longterm relationship with a woman.
3. Women, and relationships with them, cannot and will never make you happy if you're not already happy first.
4. I believe in the 80/20 rule. In which you should only invest 20% of your resources (be it time, money, mental energy...) to a woman, and invest at least 80% onto yourself. We've seen real life examples of dudes did the exact opposite, and at the end of the day, they lose everything, both themselves and the women.
5. Stay away from workplace romance.
6. Read the Iron Rules by Rollo Tomassi.

 

[Black Widow Void]

It's been a long time since I was twenty eight. No regrets, but I wished that I understood the psychology and dynamics back then. I'll explain.

At twenty eight (and during that period, I usually dated women a couple of years younger or around my age) I noticed something. It seemed like most of these women weren't as excited, happy etc... At that time, I couldn't understand the reasons and wondered if it was me. I now understand why.

When we (at least during my era) date women twenty six and a little older, they have likely felt let down. Their friends are either getting married, engaged or have found someone serious. Meanwhile, the single twenty six and up female may have been recently jilted or isn't happy about their circumstances (in some cases, you'll discover why no one swooped them up) .

I'm not saying that all women in this age bracket are like this. but many do become too suspicious of men or have become calloused. I wished that I had understood the reasons for their behavior when I was your age. Back when I was twenty eight, I thought that it was either me or that I was attracting the less desirable type of women.

 

[Jor-El]

I would deffo know my own worth a bit more if could go back,and not put up with as much BS as I did,just because she was hot. Unfortunately,experience is something you dont get till after you need it

 

[manfrombelow]

I would deffo know my own worth a bit more if could go back,and not put up with as much BS as I did,just because she was hot. Unfortunately,experience is something you dont get till after you need it

Oh bro, the feels. I can relate 100%

 

[Bingo-Player]

It's been a long time since I was twenty eight. No regrets, but I wished that I understood the psychology and dynamics back then. I'll explain.

At twenty eight (and during that period, I usually dated women a couple of years younger or around my age) I noticed something. It seemed like most of these women weren't as excited, happy etc... At that time, I couldn't understand the reasons and wondered if it was me. I now understand why.

When we (at least during my era) date women twenty six and a little older, they have likely felt let down. Their friends are either getting married, engaged or have found someone serious. Meanwhile, the single twenty six and up female may have been recently jilted or isn't happy about their circumstances (in some cases, you'll discover why no one swooped them up) .

I'm not saying that all women in this age bracket are like this. but many do become too suspicious of men or have become calloused. I wished that I had understood the reasons for their behavior when I was your age. Back when I was twenty eight, I thought that it was either me or that I was attracting the less desirable type of women.

At 31 I constantly notice this , women 26+ are a fvcking nightmare I am not joking I think I have met 2 in the last 2 years that weren't bitter asf

Thing is no man really wants to be dealing with a 30 year old woman who's acting like a stroppy teenager because her "dream man" hasn't already swept her off her feet and all her friends are getting married and pregnant because that is what all the attitude boils down too

I feel they want men to create some sort of fairytale for them when in reality they are 10 years too old for the romance novel its time to suck it up and take what they can get

Dating apps are usually absolutely rife with these types and I try to avoid them like the plague but sometimes I will inevitably run into one

I pulled a 20 year old in a festival on Sunday , she was too young really but so much easier to lead and to be sexual with

 

[manfrombelow]

I pulled a 20 year old in a festival on Sunday , she was too young really but so much easier to lead and to be sexual with

Exactly, young chicks are more easy to deal with, they are more fun, relaxing, less demanding, and have even lesser baggage. I'm having a 20 year old virgin as a LTR right now, how old are you by the way?

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Just turned 28 and holy **** how did I get here? Time flies and it’s going by faster. I’ve decided on a career path and have my body in check along with knowing which girls are good and bad (I have a gf now). What are some things you wished you knew in your 20s or 30s that I’d you did your life would be significantly better? Please no bitter outlooks unless it’s to marriage which I’m NOT doing.
The older you get the happier or bitter you become. How did you live your life and what regrets did you have?

(I'm 48)

Avoid accruing credit card debt
You're never too old to do what you want
Your workplace is not your family
Your country is not your family
Your family sometimes isn't even your family - if they disrespect you
Have faith that whatever losses you incur (relationships, jobs, money) you can handle it
Remember that everyone operates out of self-interest
The past and the future do not exist
Judge not lest ye be judged
Be true to your self - always

 

[Mertz09]

(I'm 48)

Avoid accruing credit card debt
You're never too old to do what you want
Your workplace is not your family
Your country is not your family
Your family sometimes isn't even your family - if they disrespect you
Have faith that whatever losses you incur (relationships, jobs, money) you can handle it
Remember that everyone operates out of self-interest
The past and the future do not exist
Judge not lest ye be judged
Be true to your self - always

And 5. Stay away from workplace romance.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

(I'm 48)

Avoid accruing credit card debt
You're never too old to do what you want
Your workplace is not your family
Your country is not your family
Your family sometimes isn't even your family - if they disrespect you
Have faith that whatever losses you incur (relationships, jobs, money) you can handle it
Remember that everyone operates out of self-interest
The past and the future do not exist
Judge not lest ye be judged
Be true to your self - always

Honestly the best in the thread so far. Thanks for the wisdom. Agree heavily with family part. I’ve been ****ed over so many times by men and women. Only trust myself and maybe my gf. Maybe

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Just turned 28 and holy **** how did I get here? Time flies and it’s going by faster. I’ve decided on a career path and have my body in check along with knowing which girls are good and bad (I have a gf now). What are some things you wished you knew in your 20s or 30s that I’d you did your life would be significantly better? Please no bitter outlooks unless it’s to marriage which I’m NOT doing.
The older you get the happier or bitter you become. How did you live your life and what regrets did you have?

I'd take this too account too:

Time moves way faster than you think it will.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

And 5. Stay away from workplace romance.

Hahaha yes. I knew I was missing something. Can speak from experience several times - it eventually bit me in the a$$.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

To all the older men. How do you determine if another guy is trust worthy and loyal? I’m struggling with this as 99% of dudes have ducked me over or did some weak snake **** to me in the oast

 

[Mertz09]

Dudes before they turn 30 are clueless and insecure. Don’t worry about them, they have their own problems.

Keep doing you brotha, you’ll figure it out

I agree and have the experience to prove it!!!!

There is an old saying... "I wish I knew then what I know now" The thing is you are Not going to know because as we say here in TX "You don't know, what you don't know" What does that mean??? Experience! I don't have a son (I do have a daughter) but if I was ever lucky enough to have a son, I would dam well make sure that I taught him all that I could about women and relationships.

 

[BadBoy89]

1. No one cares if you are dead or alive. In fact, most people would prefer you were dead.
2. If you are going to get married, do it now.
3. Keep all your hair. The older a man gets, the more important a man's hair is. I'm not 6'1 but at least I'm OK with my hair.
4. Sleep with as many girls as possible you are attracted to
5. Don't get addicted to anything.

 

[The Duke]

Understand that women come and go. There is no such thing as forever. Enjoy your time with her, and move onto the next.

 

[Mike32ct]

1. Talent or natural ability is everything. If you’re not naturally good at something, pick something else. Otherwise, you’ll burn yourself out and still barely be average.

2. The workplace will try to take advantage of you if they know you are single and childless. They assume you have all the free time in the world to just work lol.

3. Don’t try to “make up for lost time” if you are a late bloomer with women. In that case, just find a good chick and call it a day or worst case stay single.

 

[Solomon]

To all the older men. How do you determine if another guy is trust worthy and loyal? I’m struggling with this as 99% of dudes have ducked me over or did some weak snake **** to me in the oast

Crazy I dealt with this issue throughout my life even when I was around your age at 29 and a bit in my 30s
First not to sound cynical but don't place your hope in man cause like it says in the bible you will be disappointed

• Don't call anyone your friend unless they have proven themselves like you vet and qualify women you have to vet and qualify men for friendship
• Understand that certain people may be fun to hang out with, however, that doesn't mean they are people of integrity or loyal i.e. bar buddies for example
• It's ok to categorize people in groups certain people(for example associates, friends and so forth)For example people you meet at the bar aren't all of a sudden going to become business partners. Not saying it doesn't happen but bar friends tend to be that bar friends matter of fact I would recommend don't even make friends with people you meet at the bar unless it's the staff(even then I wouldn't call them friends).
• Realize most people are fickle and will befriend you because of what you have or can do for them. Most people you meet after 16 are shallow or just want something for nothing.
• Try to make friends from your hobbies and not the bar or club

In conclusion, vet the people you are trying to befriend or that are trying to befriend you, see how they live do they talk shyt behind their other friends back to you? This to me is a red flag, why? cause they will probably talk shyt about you too. Understand that a lot of men are bums and not worthy of your friendship especially if you are a man of integrity, morals, and value trust. Never let another person big bro you because they have money or clout(I'm talking local here), some people are punch drunk of power even though in the long run it doesn't mean anything

My biggest advice is to put yourself in a position where you have assets it doesn't have to be a house, or car but assets can also be gold, stocks, crypto, silver etc. You're entering an era of your life where you will be thinking about legacy and the future a lot if you're an introspective person,

Enjoy life because your 30s will go by even faster than your 20s!

Cheers!

 

[Solomon]

At 31 I constantly notice this , women 26+ are a fvcking nightmare I am not joking I think I have met 2 in the last 2 years that weren't bitter asf

Thing is no man really wants to be dealing with a 30 year old woman who's acting like a stroppy teenager because her "dream man" hasn't already swept her off her feet and all her friends are getting married and pregnant because that is what all the attitude boils down too

I feel they want men to create some sort of fairytale for them when in reality they are 10 years too old for the romance novel its time to suck it up and take what they can get

Dating apps are usually absolutely rife with these types and I try to avoid them like the plague but sometimes I will inevitably run into one

I pulled a 20 year old in a festival on Sunday , she was too young really but so much easier to lead and to be sexual with

Those women are bitter and jaded as you mentioned because they want to get married or because of to many past sexual advances. It sucks but you can literally see it in their eyes and then usually depending on the situation you are the guy who has to jump through hoops at times, EFF THAT. My thing is this we all have baggage but how much baggage are you willing to do deal with? The older you get the less you're willing to deal with because you realize older women tend to have a lot i.e. kids, divorce, trust issues, trauma from childhood etc. It becomes harder to meet someone who is not hung up on the past or has worked through it in a healty way i.e. therapy hence OLD is riff with women with these type of issues

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Plan for the future but don't plan so much that you forget to live in the present.

Ie, don't skip on going places and doing things to the point you don't do anything just to save more money for a later day...

That day may never come or your health may take a turn for the worse and you can no longer enjoy it like you would be able to now.

Have life goals that you want to achieve in the next year, 3 years, 5 years, decade, etc that you can track and are meaningful to you in some way.