"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Girls that smoke pot

st_99

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more than once in a long while..

comments?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Juan Don

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some of my girl friends who were studying to become doctors back in college used to smoke every once in a while. they are smart and beautiful. and they're doctors now. they don't smoke anymore though. haha
 

st_99

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Juan Don said:
some of my girl friends who were studying to become doctors back in college used to smoke every once in a while. they are smart and beautiful. and they're doctors now. they don't smoke anymore though. haha

ok, intersting. I'm torn on whether to view it as a big flaw in character or not.
 

backbreaker

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my wife smokes pot a few times a month. not really that big a deal to me. generally when we go out to friends house. we don't do it at home (with the son) though.
 

st_99

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backbreaker said:
my wife smokes pot a few times a month. not really that big a deal to me. generally when we go out to friends house. we don't do it at home (with the son) though.
what is your opinion if your wife consistently bought it as part of her routine?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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backbreaker

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st_99 said:
what is your opinion if your wife consistently bought it as part of her routine?
considering I am a recovering addict she wouldn't be my wife


ik can live with once a week joint/ blunt smoking. it's IMHO pretty harmless.

it's not so much the drug but a person who smokes weed like, everyday, are trying to mask for something/ get away from something or don't want to face something.


if she started smoking like everyday we would have issues. though she won't.
 

Deep Dish

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I'm for stoner chicks.

But, it more depends on how much she smokes cigarettes. I smoke weed but only weed. It's a tragedy that most stoners are smokers and therein lies the relationship with the question of how much a chick smokes weed.
backbreaker:
it's not so much the drug but a person who smokes weed like, everyday, are trying to mask for something/ get away from something or don't want to face something.
True, but they may also have a medical condition, most especially in your state of California. Also, as for “everyday,” I draw a distinction between someone who smokes in the evenings, every night, to wind down after work, rather than drink a beer or glass of wine, and someone who smokes every day all day long. It's not the number of days of the week but whether if they are responsible with their life, and this will be more prevalent once weed is legalized somewhere within the next few years.
 

backbreaker

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Deep Dish said:
I'm for stoner chicks.

But, it more depends on how much she smokes cigarettes. I smoke weed but only weed. It's a tragedy that most stoners are smokers and therein lies the relationship with the question of how much a chick smokes weed.True, but they may also have a medical condition, most especially in your state of California. Also, as for “everyday,” I draw a distinction between someone who smokes in the evenings, every night, to wind down after work, rather than drink a beer or glass of wine, and someone who smokes every day all day long. It's not the number of days of the week but whether if they are responsible with their life, and this will be more prevalent once weed is legalized somewhere within the next few years.
it's about personal preference. I don't want anyone who has to do antyhing to wind down everyday, even drinking. we have about 1,000 dollars worth of alcohol in the house and you can count the glasses of alcohol we both drink a month on both hands. maybe when I'm watching a football game, maybe when we are watching boardwalk empire, maybe when we have company.. but a woman that has to drink everyday to "unwind" is not my type of woman.
 

Deep Dish

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backbreaker:
it's about personal preference. I don't want anyone who has to do antyhing to wind down everyday, even drinking.
You're absolutely right that your choice whether to allow someone to enter your life is personal preference, although my point is that projecting the assertion someone must inherently be running away from problems falls under the realm of objectivity, beyond subjective personal preference. I've gone through alcohol counseling once and I totally agree that substance abuse is always the tip of the iceberg of deeper issues, although responsible recreational use is not and likewise there should be no judgement of their character, aside from personal preference.
 

backbreaker

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but using any drug every day, is not "responsible recreational", it's tittering on dependance if not addiction.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Deep Dish

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According to science, which I can cite, marijuana has the same dependence and addiction rating (9) as caffeine. I hardly think someone who visits Starbucks every morning on their daily commute has a real irresponsible 'problem' worthy of counseling.
 

Blackmm

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Weed makes women raggedy.
 
P

perseverance

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I wouldn't go near a woman who smokes weed or does any other form of drugs, just in the same way I wouldn't go out with a woman who reeked of cigarettes or went out to clubs to get slaughtered every weekend, but that's just me.
 

dereklovesugly

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It's really a personal choice to have to make. Do you mind it? Does her smoking pot affect you in a negative way? Personally, I used to be a big time stoner and I'll smoke a bowl with my roomie every month or so if I'm relaxing, so a casual pot smoke (once a week even) doesn't really bug me
 

dereklovesugly

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It's really a personal choice to have to make. Do you mind it? Does her smoking pot affect you in a negative way? Personally, I used to be a big time stoner and I'll smoke a bowl with my roomie every month or so if I'm relaxing, so a casual pot smoke (once a week even) doesn't really bug me
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Jack Wealthy

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DonGorgon said:
they are usually druggies and pot is not all they do.. they are unstable and flaky and will choose the dude will narcotics every time... they tend tko crash and burn fast aslo
No, they're not. That is a huge generalisation with no basis in truth. At least where I live, everyone smokes weed. Most my friends, my mums clients who are doctors, lawyers... None of them do any drugs besides alchohol and weed.

As for it being a gateway drug, the real gateway drug is alchohol. Most people who do any other drug also drink, people who smoke pot don't move up as often because it's a different culture. In fact it is more the enviroment the drugs are being taken, if people smoke weed at a friends they probably won't smoke crack, if they smoke at their dealers they are far more likely too.
 

Masculinity

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A woman who does drugs doesn't meet my standards. Marijuana is a drug; hence, she is not dateable. I would still bang her though, haha.
 

st_99

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intersting opinions. if i had a choice between 2 desirable women, 1 smoked the other did not, i would choose does not every time.
 

Domo_Arigatoo

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Girls that smoke weed i'm totally cool with, but girls that smoke cigarettes are just.... meh. HELL NO ***** GET AWAY FROM ME WITH YOUR SMELLY ASS.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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