Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Juan Don said:some of my girl friends who were studying to become doctors back in college used to smoke every once in a while. they are smart and beautiful. and they're doctors now. they don't smoke anymore though. haha
what is your opinion if your wife consistently bought it as part of her routine?backbreaker said:my wife smokes pot a few times a month. not really that big a deal to me. generally when we go out to friends house. we don't do it at home (with the son) though.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
considering I am a recovering addict she wouldn't be my wifest_99 said:what is your opinion if your wife consistently bought it as part of her routine?
True, but they may also have a medical condition, most especially in your state of California. Also, as for “everyday,” I draw a distinction between someone who smokes in the evenings, every night, to wind down after work, rather than drink a beer or glass of wine, and someone who smokes every day all day long. It's not the number of days of the week but whether if they are responsible with their life, and this will be more prevalent once weed is legalized somewhere within the next few years.backbreaker:
it's not so much the drug but a person who smokes weed like, everyday, are trying to mask for something/ get away from something or don't want to face something.
it's about personal preference. I don't want anyone who has to do antyhing to wind down everyday, even drinking. we have about 1,000 dollars worth of alcohol in the house and you can count the glasses of alcohol we both drink a month on both hands. maybe when I'm watching a football game, maybe when we are watching boardwalk empire, maybe when we have company.. but a woman that has to drink everyday to "unwind" is not my type of woman.Deep Dish said:I'm for stoner chicks.
But, it more depends on how much she smokes cigarettes. I smoke weed but only weed. It's a tragedy that most stoners are smokers and therein lies the relationship with the question of how much a chick smokes weed.True, but they may also have a medical condition, most especially in your state of California. Also, as for “everyday,” I draw a distinction between someone who smokes in the evenings, every night, to wind down after work, rather than drink a beer or glass of wine, and someone who smokes every day all day long. It's not the number of days of the week but whether if they are responsible with their life, and this will be more prevalent once weed is legalized somewhere within the next few years.
You're absolutely right that your choice whether to allow someone to enter your life is personal preference, although my point is that projecting the assertion someone must inherently be running away from problems falls under the realm of objectivity, beyond subjective personal preference. I've gone through alcohol counseling once and I totally agree that substance abuse is always the tip of the iceberg of deeper issues, although responsible recreational use is not and likewise there should be no judgement of their character, aside from personal preference.backbreaker:
it's about personal preference. I don't want anyone who has to do antyhing to wind down everyday, even drinking.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
they are usually druggies and pot is not all they do.. they are unstable and flaky and will choose the dude will narcotics every time... they tend tko crash and burn fast aslost_99 said:more than once in a long while..
comments?
No, they're not. That is a huge generalisation with no basis in truth. At least where I live, everyone smokes weed. Most my friends, my mums clients who are doctors, lawyers... None of them do any drugs besides alchohol and weed.DonGorgon said:they are usually druggies and pot is not all they do.. they are unstable and flaky and will choose the dude will narcotics every time... they tend tko crash and burn fast aslo
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.