SELF-MASTERY
Banned
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2004
- Messages
- 1,971
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DreamyChick, what have you learned about men in your 4 years of being a member here????
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Nah none taken, trust me I'm not always this dipomaticmr_elor said:Fair enough mate, I'm open minded enough to say that you're certainly entitled to your own opinions, in fact I know the world would be a far less interesting place if we all agreed on anything. However I'm simply not going to agree with you on this, and if disagreeing with people makes me a flamer then so be it.
If not 'chilling' means I'm not a DJ, then so be it (besides, 'DJ' is a label, as long as I'm happy I don't care how much of the DJ criteria I fulfill).
Anyway, no offense to you mate, you seem like a decent guy and I'm not trying to have a go. Unfortunately I'm not as diplomatic as yourself.
That I am attracted to the wrong kinds of guys.SELF-MASTERY said:DreamyChick, what have you learned about men in your 4 years of being a member here????
What kind of guys are you attracted too???DreamyChick said:That I am attracted to the wrong kinds of guys.
Yes you did.SELF-MASTERY said:What kind of guys are you attracted too???
Weren't you the one who had a crush on some guy you worked with that had a girlfriend or something like that?? Didn't we yell at you and called you names?:box:
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Yes she never answered all of the question.S1NN3R said:Ok, there are just way too many of the little punchy punchy dude. My vertigo is giving me fits now.
Let's get back to the subject of DreamyChick here and the kind of guys that she's attracted to compared to the kind of guy she feels she should be attracted to (sans little punchy punchy dude, if at all possible). Knowing if it's the board that had an effect on her revelation might help solidify proof that girls have a place here if they can recieve as much help as the guys.
For the record that coworker has moved on and so have I. However, he seemed a whole heck of a lot more mature being in his 30's then the guy I currently like. Why are you going to give me a hard time for being attracted to a man that's got his act together?SELF-MASTERY said:and now you are back for more?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Carlos Mencia just addressed this issue during the monologue on his show yesterday; you should check that out.DonJuanByNature said:Like it or not, girls most of the time DONT KNOW what they want. They say I want a nice guy with this and that and then you see them being with a jerk in an abusive/unapreciated relationship... and the whole time their "nice" guy friend is always there for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on... Thus, taking advice from a girl will not help your AFC situation...
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
SELF-MASTERY said:DreamyChick, stop being such a chick (jk) I wasn't getting on you for liking that guy. I just remembered that thread and how people responded. I might have said something mean, but I dont remember and who cares that was months...maybe a year or more ago...
What is your definition of maturity? We here women claim that they want mature men, but they never define what that means... What makes the current guy immature. BTW you will never just be friends with him, so stop pretending...
LOL at you. You obviously haven't read many posts by me. There is a reason why I always put the word "game" in quotation marks. I've always believed that attraction was natural and simple and shouldn't take that much work.DonJuanForever said:Lol, Mastery, I still think YOU think, it's a "game." There is no game. When a
DJF
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.