SELF-MASTERY
Banned
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2004
- Messages
- 1,971
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DreamyChick, what have you learned about men in your 4 years of being a member here????
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Nah none taken, trust me I'm not always this dipomaticmr_elor said:Fair enough mate, I'm open minded enough to say that you're certainly entitled to your own opinions, in fact I know the world would be a far less interesting place if we all agreed on anything. However I'm simply not going to agree with you on this, and if disagreeing with people makes me a flamer then so be it.
If not 'chilling' means I'm not a DJ, then so be it (besides, 'DJ' is a label, as long as I'm happy I don't care how much of the DJ criteria I fulfill).
Anyway, no offense to you mate, you seem like a decent guy and I'm not trying to have a go. Unfortunately I'm not as diplomatic as yourself.
That I am attracted to the wrong kinds of guys.SELF-MASTERY said:DreamyChick, what have you learned about men in your 4 years of being a member here????
What kind of guys are you attracted too???DreamyChick said:That I am attracted to the wrong kinds of guys.
Yes you did.SELF-MASTERY said:What kind of guys are you attracted too???
Weren't you the one who had a crush on some guy you worked with that had a girlfriend or something like that?? Didn't we yell at you and called you names?:box:
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Yes she never answered all of the question.S1NN3R said:Ok, there are just way too many of the little punchy punchy dude. My vertigo is giving me fits now.
Let's get back to the subject of DreamyChick here and the kind of guys that she's attracted to compared to the kind of guy she feels she should be attracted to (sans little punchy punchy dude, if at all possible). Knowing if it's the board that had an effect on her revelation might help solidify proof that girls have a place here if they can recieve as much help as the guys.
For the record that coworker has moved on and so have I. However, he seemed a whole heck of a lot more mature being in his 30's then the guy I currently like. Why are you going to give me a hard time for being attracted to a man that's got his act together?SELF-MASTERY said:and now you are back for more?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Carlos Mencia just addressed this issue during the monologue on his show yesterday; you should check that out.DonJuanByNature said:Like it or not, girls most of the time DONT KNOW what they want. They say I want a nice guy with this and that and then you see them being with a jerk in an abusive/unapreciated relationship... and the whole time their "nice" guy friend is always there for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on... Thus, taking advice from a girl will not help your AFC situation...
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
SELF-MASTERY said:DreamyChick, stop being such a chick (jk) I wasn't getting on you for liking that guy. I just remembered that thread and how people responded. I might have said something mean, but I dont remember and who cares that was months...maybe a year or more ago...
What is your definition of maturity? We here women claim that they want mature men, but they never define what that means... What makes the current guy immature. BTW you will never just be friends with him, so stop pretending...
LOL at you. You obviously haven't read many posts by me. There is a reason why I always put the word "game" in quotation marks. I've always believed that attraction was natural and simple and shouldn't take that much work.DonJuanForever said:Lol, Mastery, I still think YOU think, it's a "game." There is no game. When a
DJF
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.