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Girls lose interest after dates and communication fizzles out..Help!?

G-Unit

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2022
Messages
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Hi, I'm Greg and I'm here to solve my single biggest problem: girls lose interest after dates and communication fizzles out.

My stats:

32 yo, get regularly clocked at 23-26 due to youthful face.
6'2'' (6'4'' in thick heels, insoles), jacked, tan, 200 lbs or so, bf ranges from 12-15%.
Head full of hair. Good style (I've improved wardrobe over years and even had a stylist).
Hobbies: various sports, gym, reading books, did some dancing.
Have enough money and my own small business and am constantly improving it.
Life Purpose: My purpose is a company / startup I'm working on, so I have that part handled.
Current dating goal: Improve my phone, date to lay conversion with 7/10s by 25%.
I currently match with, cold approach and date girls in wide range of 18-33. I use TinderGold and boosts and have a few hundred matches.


Some dating background:

Right now I have little problems getting numbers on Tinder and even getting first dates.
I even get numbers from cold approach on street sometimes.

My problem is usually girls rarely want to do second or third dates.

Sometimes they go on second and third dates, but over time usually like 95% of those relationships fizzle out.
There are a few girls I've been seeing for a few months and we've been on a date every few weeks and I even kissed them, but they refuse to come to my place and basically show little interest, never message me, etc.
Even though I tried to escalate with these girls, touching, even kissing and they seem excited on dates, they are very hesitant to meeting over again and going to my place.

My shirtless pic mostly gets me the Tinder matches and girls generally acknowledge that I have a very good body.
I've been complimented on my physical attributes (mostly body). Regarding face: I have whitened teeth, tan, full head of hair, good skin.
Still, my body is my selling point though.

When girls have sex with me, they will always want to stick around, but I VERY rarely get to that part.

I am not needy and text mostly for logistics only (once or twice a week) as recommended by pretty much everyone "pickup artist" in the industry. Although I'm not sure how good of a suggestion it really is...

I tried listening to friend and being more of a nice guy and telling a girl I liked her after the date and messaging very soon, but they lost interest immediately, so I don't do it anymore and take my time so they get to wonder. (although I have suspicions they just lose interest).

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I don't have oneitis or anything, it's just the general trend I've seen over the years that I'm not happy with.
I've had had 3 girlfriends before from LTRs (1 hot 8/10 from cold approach, 1 above avg 6.5/10 from cold approach, 1 average 5/10 from Tinder), but it was a pain in ass to get them (had to go on so many dates and through so many numbers).
I've had one first night lay when Tinder girl basically took me, so I have the body and looks to pull those.
I've had second date lays and I've had beautiful girls (8/10 20yos) come over to my apartment to have sex on first date, but I ****ed up by being anxious that time.

If I had to make a guess the problem for another person in my situation for a chance to win a million dollars, here could be the possible reasons:

1) I might be too jittery and don't have a really low, super masculine voice (my voice is average, but its not "sexy"). It's lower in the mornings and when I'm relaxed or on a xannie. I have taken some SSRIs recently that have made me way more chill, but I'm still not getting dating results.

2) I maybe appear too cold or distant? Maybe girls expect me to message them after dates, maybe they expect flowers or some more fancier stuff on dates? I don't know how to fix this. Russian girls especially, they have different culture. I date both international and Russian girls. I don't discriminate.

3) I think problem is either related to body language, communication nuance or voice, but I'm not sure which and combination of which. I even went so far as to send examples of my voice so vocal surgeon who does voice lowering and they said I already have reasonably low voice and if they lower it, they would reduce resonance and I would benefit most from vocal training if I want to perfect it, but its generally good if I'm relaxed, so idk.

If I had to choose ONE thing that might be a problem for this person (me), my inclination would be that it's somewhat related to behavior, communication via TEXT. I think maybe they want me to write to them more, but I'm not sure this is a good idea, since it's almost never recommended by dating coaches.

On dates, I LISTEN a lot to these girls, speak very little and make observations about emotional stuff (It seems you like to travel a lot, it seems you value X, etc...), I try to talk about their relationships, what men they like, try to get a bit sexual, increase intensity, talk about emotions, travels, etc...

Where do I get help and how to fix this?

How do I identify the problem?

I even asked some girls what was wrong, they said they didn't feel the "spark", which probably meant I was not escalating for sexual tension. I fixed that in last dates and touch girls, carry them around, do a quick dance or pat them on the head (if they are shorter) and do playful stuff like that. But the results are still not there.

I just don't know at this point. I've gotten hundreds of numbers, been on like 90+ dates and only had sex with 9 girls during my lifetime (I must admit I had a lot of quality sex in my LTRs) and I'm in my 30, this sucks.

I do reject the girls that are very ugly (usually rotten teeth or obese or something like that), so I guess I have some "standards", but I don't go only for models, although I've been on dates with model tier girls, too.
If a girl is 6.5/10+ I will consider her as long as teeth are in relatively good shape.
The problem is most of the time they just get unresponsive.

Looking for any help at this point.

Thank you so much!
I hope this forum finally helps me get over this hurdle and help me build a solid rotation of 3-5 hot girls. I'm tired of LTRs at this point.
 

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EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
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Hi man. Welcome!

The couple things I can at least guess would be;

1) Lose the shirtless picture on the app. Combined with reserved in-person game you are communicating too much aloofness. Aloof is good, but not when you look like a Chad. It scares women off. I’d change your pictures to come off as more wholesome or “beta.”

2) Tinder is dumpster diving. These girls are broken. And if you are truly getting a date with the hot ones consider yourself lucky. Girls on tinder simply don’t want anything meaningful.

3) You might be a bit socially awkward in person. This coincides with #1. If you look like a Chad they assume you have the game to match. Perhaps hit up toastmasters and get some feedback on how people perceive your speaking ability.

With women I find they respond positively and want more dates if you exceed their expectations. Setting the looks bar at Chad is hurting you. For me, I look like a beta in pictures (that’s what they expect) but women constantly tell me I have an hidden edge and confidence that blows them away. I pass all their shvt tests in the first couple minutes.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
3,996
Reaction score
4,463
Age
42
Hi, I'm Greg and I'm here to solve my single biggest problem: girls lose interest after dates and communication fizzles out.

My stats:

32 yo, get regularly clocked at 23-26 due to youthful face.
6'2'' (6'4'' in thick heels, insoles), jacked, tan, 200 lbs or so, bf ranges from 12-15%.
Head full of hair. Good style (I've improved wardrobe over years and even had a stylist).
Hobbies: various sports, gym, reading books, did some dancing.
Have enough money and my own small business and am constantly improving it.
Life Purpose: My purpose is a company / startup I'm working on, so I have that part handled.
Current dating goal: Improve my phone, date to lay conversion with 7/10s by 25%.
I currently match with, cold approach and date girls in wide range of 18-33. I use TinderGold and boosts and have a few hundred matches.


Some dating background:

Right now I have little problems getting numbers on Tinder and even getting first dates.
I even get numbers from cold approach on street sometimes.

My problem is usually girls rarely want to do second or third dates.

Sometimes they go on second and third dates, but over time usually like 95% of those relationships fizzle out.
There are a few girls I've been seeing for a few months and we've been on a date every few weeks and I even kissed them, but they refuse to come to my place and basically show little interest, never message me, etc.
Even though I tried to escalate with these girls, touching, even kissing and they seem excited on dates, they are very hesitant to meeting over again and going to my place.

My shirtless pic mostly gets me the Tinder matches and girls generally acknowledge that I have a very good body.
I've been complimented on my physical attributes (mostly body). Regarding face: I have whitened teeth, tan, full head of hair, good skin.
Still, my body is my selling point though.

When girls have sex with me, they will always want to stick around, but I VERY rarely get to that part.

I am not needy and text mostly for logistics only (once or twice a week) as recommended by pretty much everyone "pickup artist" in the industry. Although I'm not sure how good of a suggestion it really is...

I tried listening to friend and being more of a nice guy and telling a girl I liked her after the date and messaging very soon, but they lost interest immediately, so I don't do it anymore and take my time so they get to wonder. (although I have suspicions they just lose interest).

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I don't have oneitis or anything, it's just the general trend I've seen over the years that I'm not happy with.
I've had had 3 girlfriends before from LTRs (1 hot 8/10 from cold approach, 1 above avg 6.5/10 from cold approach, 1 average 5/10 from Tinder), but it was a pain in ass to get them (had to go on so many dates and through so many numbers).
I've had one first night lay when Tinder girl basically took me, so I have the body and looks to pull those.
I've had second date lays and I've had beautiful girls (8/10 20yos) come over to my apartment to have sex on first date, but I ****ed up by being anxious that time.

If I had to make a guess the problem for another person in my situation for a chance to win a million dollars, here could be the possible reasons:

1) I might be too jittery and don't have a really low, super masculine voice (my voice is average, but its not "sexy"). It's lower in the mornings and when I'm relaxed or on a xannie. I have taken some SSRIs recently that have made me way more chill, but I'm still not getting dating results.

2) I maybe appear too cold or distant? Maybe girls expect me to message them after dates, maybe they expect flowers or some more fancier stuff on dates? I don't know how to fix this. Russian girls especially, they have different culture. I date both international and Russian girls. I don't discriminate.

3) I think problem is either related to body language, communication nuance or voice, but I'm not sure which and combination of which. I even went so far as to send examples of my voice so vocal surgeon who does voice lowering and they said I already have reasonably low voice and if they lower it, they would reduce resonance and I would benefit most from vocal training if I want to perfect it, but its generally good if I'm relaxed, so idk.

If I had to choose ONE thing that might be a problem for this person (me), my inclination would be that it's somewhat related to behavior, communication via TEXT. I think maybe they want me to write to them more, but I'm not sure this is a good idea, since it's almost never recommended by dating coaches.

On dates, I LISTEN a lot to these girls, speak very little and make observations about emotional stuff (It seems you like to travel a lot, it seems you value X, etc...), I try to talk about their relationships, what men they like, try to get a bit sexual, increase intensity, talk about emotions, travels, etc...

Where do I get help and how to fix this?

How do I identify the problem?

I even asked some girls what was wrong, they said they didn't feel the "spark", which probably meant I was not escalating for sexual tension. I fixed that in last dates and touch girls, carry them around, do a quick dance or pat them on the head (if they are shorter) and do playful stuff like that. But the results are still not there.

I just don't know at this point. I've gotten hundreds of numbers, been on like 90+ dates and only had sex with 9 girls during my lifetime (I must admit I had a lot of quality sex in my LTRs) and I'm in my 30, this sucks.

I do reject the girls that are very ugly (usually rotten teeth or obese or something like that), so I guess I have some "standards", but I don't go only for models, although I've been on dates with model tier girls, too.
If a girl is 6.5/10+ I will consider her as long as teeth are in relatively good shape.
The problem is most of the time they just get unresponsive.

Looking for any help at this point.

Thank you so much!
I hope this forum finally helps me get over this hurdle and help me build a solid rotation of 3-5 hot girls. I'm tired of LTRs at this point.
You're probably just relying too much on Tinder. I bet most of the girls you meet just go around having free dinners all week with various guys.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
666
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Firstly, you sound like you were born in the wrong era. This era of dating things simply move fast. First thing I thought of was op gotta ESCALATE quicker. You dont wanna be a rapist or something like that, but when you get a date there gotta be sexual tension in the air. A man who knows he is a monster in bed will ooze this confidence. A man who is unsure will also unconsciously show this.

Women have so many options nowadays that they dont even have time anymore to " properly friendzone " guys like you. They have plenty of orbiters already. When you present yourself as a Chad ,you gotta live up to the expectation.

Secondly, you wrote all these positive things about yourself . That's good ,but I kinda miss a self critical way of thinking. You basically say" why I don't get more second dates /gf's, when I am this PERFECT dude." Its obvious something goes wrong. You are probably the only one who truly knows what's lacking. Now I know the women here get a lotta heat for ..being women but @BeExcellent does have a good piont when she says her man has a sense of style that's unique to him only. Dont be average. Find something unique. Wear a crazy stylish hat or something like that, something that set you apart from the next gym dude.


Some basic tips:
- dont ask what her type is.
-never ever talk about LTR's or your exes.
-dont double text
- don't share your life story
- dont maintain contact when she probably acts cold. Just leave, maybe leave the door open a little bit but LET HER TAKE Initiative
- no dinner dates.
-dont talk about work and how much you make

Good luck bro, you'll get there eventually!
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
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1,328
Age
50
If I had to choose ONE thing that might be a problem for this person (me), my inclination would be that it's somewhat related to behavior, communication via TEXT. I think maybe they want me to write to them more, but I'm not sure this is a good idea, since it's almost never recommended by dating coaches.

On dates, I LISTEN a lot to these girls, speak very little and make observations about emotional stuff (It seems you like to travel a lot, it seems you value X, etc...), I try to talk about their relationships, what men they like, try to get a bit sexual, increase intensity, talk about emotions, travels, etc...
It kinda sounds like reason #2. You do have to open up a bit with your potential plates. See the quoted paragraphs - you have to establish more comfort (i.e. more of an emotional connection) with them. You got to be willing to be vulnerable with them so they can see a potential relationship with you - this will help you get the lay.
 
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G-Unit

Don Juan
Joined
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Hi man. Welcome!

The couple things I can at least guess would be;

1) Lose the shirtless picture on the app. Combined with reserved in-person game you are communicating too much aloofness. Aloof is good, but not when you look like a Chad. It scares women off. I’d change your pictures to come off as more wholesome or “beta.”
No, the shirtless one got highest rankings on photofeeler for target audience and when I put it up my tinder matches increased dramatically. Girls like hot bodies, so I take advantage of that.
2) Tinder is dumpster diving. These girls are broken. And if you are truly getting a date with the hot ones consider yourself lucky. Girls on tinder simply don’t want anything meaningful.
Disagree, I got a gf via Tinder and she is a nice girl. It's just that I want to spin plates now.
Also, if it applied only to Tinder chicks I'd agree, but the girls I get from cold approach - same problem. So it's not them, it's me obviously.
3) You might be a bit socially awkward in person. This coincides with #1. If you look like a Chad they assume you have the game to match. Perhaps hit up toastmasters and get some feedback on how people perceive your speaking ability.

With women I find they respond positively and want more dates if you exceed their expectations. Setting the looks bar at Chad is hurting you. For me, I look like a beta in pictures (that’s what they expect) but women constantly tell me I have an hidden edge and confidence that blows them away. I pass all their shvt tests in the first couple minutes.
This might be it. I'm quite extroverted and social, but I have something dry and boring about me.

Girls on tinder simply don’t want anything meaningful.
I never said I want anything meaningful. Problem is - I get nothing.
 

G-Unit

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2022
Messages
35
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Age
32
Firstly, you sound like you were born in the wrong era. This era of dating things simply move fast. First thing I thought of was op gotta ESCALATE quicker. You dont wanna be a rapist or something like that, but when you get a date there gotta be sexual tension in the air. A man who knows he is a monster in bed will ooze this confidence. A man who is unsure will also unconsciously show this.

Women have so many options nowadays that they dont even have time anymore to " properly friendzone " guys like you. They have plenty of orbiters already. When you present yourself as a Chad ,you gotta live up to the expectation.

Secondly, you wrote all these positive things about yourself . That's good ,but I kinda miss a self critical way of thinking. You basically say" why I don't get more second dates /gf's, when I am this PERFECT dude." Its obvious something goes wrong. You are probably the only one who truly knows what's lacking. Now I know the women here get a lotta heat for ..being women but @BeExcellent does have a good piont when she says her man has a sense of style that's unique to him only. Dont be average. Find something unique. Wear a crazy stylish hat or something like that, something that set you apart from the next gym dude.


Some basic tips:
- dont ask what her type is.
-never ever talk about LTR's or your exes.
-dont double text
- don't share your life story
- dont maintain contact when she probably acts cold. Just leave, maybe leave the door open a little bit but LET HER TAKE Initiative
- no dinner dates.
-dont talk about work and how much you make

Good luck bro, you'll get there eventually!
Thanks for tips.

> - dont ask what her type is.
I don't ask type, but sometimes I ask her what kind of men she likes. Is that bad?

> -never ever talk about LTR's or your exes.
Well, I do ask her about ex-relationships just to get her to talk about more romantic stuff. Then she asks back and I will try to be short.

> -dont double text
Sorry, can't do this. If I never double-texted I'd still be a virgin incel. It just doesn't work. It stales out and they never initiate.

> - don't share your life story
I never do. I speak very little, listen a lot.

> - dont maintain contact when she probably acts cold. Just leave, maybe leave the door open a little bit but LET HER TAKE Initiative
I did leave and then it just stales out and I'm where I am.

> - no dinner dates.
I never do dinner dates.

> -dont talk about work and how much you make
I never do this.

First thing I thought of was op gotta ESCALATE quicker.
I escalate quickly. Girls sometimes find it too fast when I invite them to my apartment after first date or on second date.

That's good ,but I kinda miss a self critical way of thinking. You basically say" why I don't get more second dates /gf's, when I am this PERFECT dude.
I said I'm not perfect obviously, I'm not a model, I'm not famous, I'm not a billionaire. I'm far from perfect. I'm just above average with relatively solid life.

Obviously, I have issues, I have identified that these issues could be related to improper communication. That's far for perfect. Never did I say I was perfect.
 
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G-Unit

Don Juan
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You're probably just relying too much on Tinder. I bet most of the girls you meet just go around having free dinners all week with various guys.
Incorrect. I had most of my relationships and lays from IRL cold approach. I approach hot and cute girls I see constantly. It's just the exact same problem is with girls from cold approach. It's my communication problem probably or something that has to do with me.
 

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
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No, the shirtless one got highest rankings on photofeeler for target audience and when I put it up my tinder matches increased dramatically. Girls like hot bodies, so I take advantage of that.
A man has to be congruent. You have a Chad profile but your personality sounds like it doesn’t match that standard. That’s why I said lose the shirtless picture. In summary: tone it down. It is better to exceed expectations than to fall short.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
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my single biggest problem: girls lose interest after dates and communication fizzles out.

My stats:

32 yo, get regularly clocked at 23-26 due to youthful face.
6'2'' (6'4'' in thick heels, insoles), jacked, tan, 200 lbs or so, bf ranges from 12-15%.
Head full of hair. Good style

I just don't know at this point. I've gotten hundreds of numbers, been on like 90+ dates and only had sex with 9 girls during my lifetime (I must admit I had a lot of quality sex in my LTRs) and I'm in my 30, this sucks.

I hope this forum finally helps me get over this hurdle and help me build a solid rotation of 3-5 hot girls. I'm tired of LTRs at this point.
3) You might be a bit socially awkward in person. This coincides with #1. If you look like a Chad they assume you have the game to match. Perhaps hit up toastmasters and get some feedback on how people perceive your speaking ability.

With women I find they respond positively and want more dates if you exceed their expectations. Setting the looks bar at Chad is hurting you. For me, I look like a beta in pictures (that’s what they expect) but women constantly tell me I have an hidden edge and confidence that blows them away. I pass all their shvt tests in the first couple minutes.
At 6'2", jacked, tan,12-15% body fat and a good hairline, @G-Unit has the ingredients to be a top tier seducer. He has 2 of 3 of the keys to success as defined by @Mike32ct . Those are height, hair, and money. @G-Unit has height and hair.

Shirtless pics on Tinder are good.

The problem is definitely socially awkward in person. @G-Unit must not have a "Chad" type persona. @sangheilios is 6'4" and 230 lbs with big muscles. @sangheilios also has ingredients of a top tier seducer too.

You don't need a lot of charisma when you are 6'0"+ with big muscles. I am under 6'0" and do not have big muscles, so I need charisma to attract-seduce. Even though very little charisma is needed to seduce at 6'0"+ with big muscles, @G-Unit isn't even reaching the minimal threshold.
 

kavi

Senior Don Juan
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Thanks for tips.

> - don't share your life story
I never do. I speak very little, listen a lot.
The girls have already given you the reason: There is no spark lol

You are likely good on paper, on tinder and on the approach, but at the date the woman is not given a reason to want to see you again. The date is where you are losing it because you are not driving things at that point. It seems you are too chill on the date. At that point you are no longer a mystery who may have some game but you are known quantity to the girls and they have no reason to see you again as you dont seem to provide any REAL Game value to match your initial approach, looks or tinder profile.
 

G-Unit

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A man has to be congruent. You have a Chad profile but your personality sounds like it doesn’t match that standard. That’s why I said lose the shirtless picture. In summary: tone it down. It is better to exceed expectations than to fall short.
I'd rather just change personality to fit Chad persona then.
What is Chad personality, how should I behave? I can change everything if required
 

G-Unit

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The problem is definitely socially awkward in person. @G-Unit must not have a "Chad" type persona.
I'm not shy by any means, but I'm quite direct and "abrasive". How do I get a more "Chad" type persona? I think Chads are more chill, not too serious and relaxed, positive generally.

Also, about money. I actually do have it, but I don't flaunt it. I don't have top tier apartment (yet, but plans in future), I don't even have a car. I have significant holdings, but girls don't see that and I don't talk about it. Basically my wealth is stealth and I want to keep it that way for now. Otherwise, I have very expensive clothes, tech, so they can tell I have money and I never complain about money
 

Gamisch

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Thanks for tips.

> - dont ask what her type is.
I don't ask type, but sometimes I ask her what kind of men she likes. Is that bad?

> -never ever talk about LTR's or your exes.
Well, I do ask her about ex-relationships just to get her to talk about more romantic stuff. Then she asks back and I will try to be short.

> -dont double text
Sorry, can't do this. If I never double-texted I'd still be a virgin incel. It just doesn't work. It stales out and they never initiate.

> - don't share your life story
I never do. I speak very little, listen a lot.

> - dont maintain contact when she probably acts cold. Just leave, maybe leave the door open a little bit but LET HER TAKE Initiative
I did leave and then it just stales out and I'm where I am.

> - no dinner dates.
I never do dinner dates.

> -dont talk about work and how much you make
I never do this.


I escalate quickly. Girls sometimes find it too fast when I invite them to my apartment after first date or on second date.


I said I'm not perfect obviously, I'm not a model, I'm not famous, I'm not a billionaire. I'm far from perfect. I'm just above average with relatively solid life.

Obviously, I have issues, I have identified that these issues could be related to improper communication. That's far for perfect. Never did I say I was perfect.
The reason @EyeBRollin tells you to dump the shirtless pics: it's like a woman complaining about the facts she" only attracts a holes " while she has all these slutty pictures. Dating is like chess. Every move might improve your position but it also weakens something. Shirtless pic= fuc boy.

On OLD that's not a big deal as most women there are slvts anyway. Now, if you want higher quality women you need classier pictures, and yes ,you might get less matches.

Don't ever ask a woman what's her type. Just assume its YOU. Hell, most women dont even know what they are looking for. It's like asking a child what's the nicest food in the world. They'll probably say MC Donald's, but if you dive deeper they like rather eat Chinese, if this makes sense.

The double text might work sometimes. But it's a overall attitude to not do this. YOU ARE THE PRICE. If 10 women dont respond like decent humans, that means all 10 of them were a waste of time anyway. Yes I know that it would be nice if 3 of them ...but even those 3 were not interested enough and communication alone can filter that. You basically mess up the filtering process by double testing and being overly thirsty.

You gotta be in this place where you are HAPPY things stale out quickly. Like I said, you are the employer, the prize, the dream job. Can you imagine Microsoft begging applicants to please please please respond? Nah. They rather assume you are self critical enough to dont even try when you are not qualified.
 

G-Unit

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On OLD that's not a big deal as most women there are slvts anyway. Now, if you want higher quality women you need classier pictures, and yes ,you might get less matches.
I am totally FINE with sluts for rotation. Problem is, even "sluts" don't go on more than a few dates with me. Usually, not more than one date hah. Generally, my tinder matches has a very wide variety of girls. All kinds of girls, slutty looking ones, younger, older, good girls, etc...I think I have general appeal about my profile.

Don't ever ask a woman what's her type. Just assume its YOU. Hell, most women dont even know what they are looking for. It's like asking a child what's the nicest food in the world. They'll probably say MC Donald's, but if you dive deeper they like rather eat Chinese, if this makes sense.
Point taken.

The double text might work sometimes. But it's a overall attitude to not do this. YOU ARE THE PRICE. If 10 women dont respond like decent humans, that means all 10 of them were a waste of time anyway. Yes I know that it would be nice if 3 of them ...but even those 3 were not interested enough and communication alone can filter that. You basically mess up the filtering process by double testing and being overly thirsty.
Dude, I'm realistic here.
Let me tell you. If I never double-texted as you and AMS say, I would be maybe at 3 lays not 9. At the end of the day, I want to get lays and I want to get rotation. Sometimes I have to double-text in the beginning. Once a girl has ****ed me, no more double texting needed, she usually becomes more interested at that point. But I hardly ever get there. I think any guy who is normal, neurotypical with my stats would slay much better. I am starting to believe I lack the "flirty Chad" vibe and am too logical, concise and "dry".
For example. I will not tell her "Hey, I just saw something and remembered of you" to spike her curiosity. I will simply message once a week and ask "Hey, what are your plans on Friday?"
Now that I think of it. Young prime girls would find that BORING. They would rather have you engage their emotions more. At least thats what guys on other sites are saying. To engage emotions more via intrigue through texts.

You gotta be in this place where you are HAPPY things stale out quickly. Like I said, you are the employer, the prize, the dream job. Can you imagine Microsoft begging applicants to please please please respond? Nah. They rather assume you are self critical enough to dont even try when you are not qualified.
I'm just incredibly realistic. I see things as they are not as I want them to be. I identify problems and fix them. That's what my life is all about. Right now I have even stronger hunch that the problem is lack of flirting in communication, specifically texts. If they get one text from me a week, it should carry an emotional punch not be some dry thing like "Hey, we should go walking on Weekend.".
 

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EyeBRollin

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I'd rather just change personality to fit Chad persona then.
What is Chad personality, how should I behave? I can change everything if required
You aren’t a Chad personality. All you can change is becoming better at speaking, social awareness, and acting masculine. Charisma itself cannot be taught.

I’ll use myself as an example. I’m not hard, thuggish, nor am I a Pookie. I can’t “learn” how to be one because it isn’t me. So I shouldn’t advertise myself that way. Women are socially aware enough to sniff this out every time.
 

MtmVaott

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Stick to this site and observe what the members here write. You'll see more opinions than AMS has, and some members have answers for you and some have illusions.
First topic you addressed is outcome dependence.
Then there is Nice Guy behaviour.
Then the Chad impression and the girls who want to have sex with a highly attractive guy, and then get disappointed when you aren't as confident as they expected.
And you try to be a robot. That is never sustainable.
 

BillyPilgrim

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OP do you sext at all via text? If a Tinder girl is hooked by your shirtless pic, it wouldn't hurt and helps establish a connection, along with opening up a little bit emotionally.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

I think it’s number 3 from @EyeBRollin post.

Based on the information provided my guess is you are missing social cues in interpersonal interactions and you are not nuanced enough to read the cues on the fly.

If you have a handsome face to go with the sculpted body and you are socially awkward then people will assume you are arrogant.

You aren’t necessarily arrogant but people still assume.

This happens with my fiancé a lot. He is tall, handsome, trim athletic build and is naturally an introvert. He does dress in a unique style, edgy LA rock star vibe and he is a pro athlete in an adventure sport. He does not always catch social cues either. And when I first met him he had that aloof vibe. It came off arrogant but really he isn’t. He’s confident and masculine & this reflects in his vibe but he’s really not an arrogant person. He’s extremely direct though which can be off putting to people, but he’s a very warm, kind person under this persona.

When we met I opened him (talked to him first), but he had set it up so I’d be in close proximity already (I didn’t know this until the first time I heard him tell the story how we met….) because I was the one girl he *really* wanted to meet that night…

One thing you can do is use your looks as a tool to screen women. It may be that you need to aim higher for hotter and/or more confident women. Hot confident women are used to dealing with hot guys. Your looks will not intimidate them (and you must reach a place where their looks do not intimidate you either.). That’s your other issue.

You need to improve social calibration and self confidence with very hot girls. You need to care A LOT less what they think.

Sometimes it’s an eager puppy vibe on dates maybe. If it’s something like that then your looks are not matching your behavior and that can come across as weird. Or too demanding on dates where women assume you only want sex. You can go one of two ways if sex is really what you are after…

1. Own it entirely & do not apologize for that ever…

2. Communicate as you see fit but quit caring so much about the result.

I know players who do both. They say literally whatever they feel like saying. They will tell a girl “Come over. I’m going to xxxx you all night. Don’t wear panties” or something like that. They embrace desire (women love to feel desired by a desirable man) and they own their sexual nature.

Out and about screen for interested women. Are they staring? They are interested. My man turns every woman’s head when we are out (so do I)…and I like that women notice him (I am not insecure about this at all)…

If I were you converse with people all the time. Perhaps your culture is more stoic I’m not sure, but during a day use interactions with people to really engage, even if for a short moment.

Charm. If you learn charm? Look out slayer.
 

Gamisch

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I am totally FINE with sluts for rotation. Problem is, even "sluts" don't go on more than a few dates with me. Usually, not more than one date hah. Generally, my tinder matches has a very wide variety of girls. All kinds of girls, slutty looking ones, younger, older, good girls, etc...I think I have general appeal about my profile.


Point taken.


Dude, I'm realistic here.
Let me tell you. If I never double-texted as you and AMS say, I would be maybe at 3 lays not 9. At the end of the day, I want to get lays and I want to get rotation. Sometimes I have to double-text in the beginning. Once a girl has ****ed me, no more double texting needed, she usually becomes more interested at that point. But I hardly ever get there. I think any guy who is normal, neurotypical with my stats would slay much better. I am starting to believe I lack the "flirty Chad" vibe and am too logical, concise and "dry".
For example. I will not tell her "Hey, I just saw something and remembered of you" to spike her curiosity. I will simply message once a week and ask "Hey, what are your plans on Friday?"
Now that I think of it. Young prime girls would find that BORING. They would rather have you engage their emotions more. At least thats what guys on other sites are saying. To engage emotions more via intrigue through texts.


I'm just incredibly realistic. I see things as they are not as I want them to be. I identify problems and fix them. That's what my life is all about. Right now I have even stronger hunch that the problem is lack of flirting in communication, specifically texts. If they get one text from me a week, it should carry an emotional punch not be some dry thing like "Hey, we should go walking on Weekend.".
You get a lotta matches. So that's already a great thing. But , as you see the game goes WAY deeper than that.

I think a important factor is ACCEPTANCE. I for example, accepted the fact I meet women on OLD and they hang around for 3-6 months. I could think why dont they stay , but statistically these are facts I need to accept, while working on myself in the meantime trying to improve things.

You basically answered your own question. You are SCARED if you dont double text you would have gotten 3 lays instead of 9. I am trying to tell you you could have 18 lays by shifting your attitude. Counterintuitive, I know but that's what dealing with women is. Took me a long time and tons of failed experiences to grasp this.

Less is more.
 
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