AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
I used to be a nice guy. Now I was flirting, not giving in as you read about in my other topic, but girls are starting to call me mean. I feel uncomfortable. Help. Thanks.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Man, this frustration is building up...everything I do isn't DJ like and it turns out to be mean. At least when I was a nice guy, everyone was cool with me. However, this girl is just one out of many and I'm still a nice guy them all. I need to reconcile.Originally posted by Tails
Stop being mean.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Yeah, if it's in a playful way, and you busted on her, you're in.Originally posted by squirrels
Be specific. You're too vague about what you're doing that's "mean" for anyone to offer serious advice.
I presume you're in HS, you are wise beyond your years...Remember that list you made...Originally posted by AFK Protector
ok screw it all again. This girl wasn't exactly a goodie two shoes towards me neither. Some women deserve my respect, others don't. She's simply not one of them. I'm gonna ignore her. I dno't need people like her in my life. Freaking control freak think she owns by AFK protecting 4ss. And about by book convo. now that i think about it, i did the right thing. She can carry her own d@mn books. Always freeloading off stuff I'm accountable for. God, I'm mad. There's my plan:
-Believe in what I believe
-Respect people who respect me back
-Don't take **** from girls like her
-Deny false accusations. :\
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
walkthisway: was that HB your gf or someone you were dating. cause no girl would let you kiss them unless you they're already intimate with you.Originally posted by Walk this Way
It's not mean if you make sure she knows you're just joking. One time a woman and I were teasing each other, and I crossed the line when I said, "Hey you know ________, I was petting my dog last night in my dream. And then I realized it was your leg!" [Yeah, it was that kinda night]. And she laughed but sounded like she felt bad, so I went up to her, put my arm around her, brought her close too my body, and tenderly kissed her and she smiled.
I hate being mean, or overly macho. There's a very real difference between being a jerk or a player and being a decent person.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
100% playful/teasing/flirting/joking. Good point. I needed that cold hard slap. I don't call girls wh0res, b1tches, or other derogatory terms.Originally posted by Reto
Yeah, if it's in a playful way, and you busted on her, you're in.
If you called her a wh0re and spit in her face, yeah. You're mean...
Originally posted by ScrewIt
walkthisway: was that HB your gf or someone you were dating. cause no girl would let you kiss them unless you they're already intimate with you.