"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Girls called me mean

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Tails

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Stop being mean.
 

AFK Protector

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Originally posted by Tails
Stop being mean.
Man, this frustration is building up...everything I do isn't DJ like and it turns out to be mean. At least when I was a nice guy, everyone was cool with me. However, this girl is just one out of many and I'm still a nice guy them all. I need to reconcile.

-Nice guy for life.
 

AFK Protector

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ok screw it all again. This girl wasn't exactly a goodie two shoes towards me neither. Some women deserve my respect, others don't. She's simply not one of them. I'm gonna ignore her. I dno't need people like her in my life. Freaking control freak think she owns by AFK protecting 4ss. And about by book convo. now that i think about it, i did the right thing. She can carry her own d@mn books. Always freeloading off stuff I'm accountable for. God, I'm mad. There's my plan:

-Believe in what I believe
-Respect people who respect me back
-Don't take **** from girls like her
-Deny false accusations. :\
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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squirrels

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Be specific. You're too vague about what you're doing that's "mean" for anyone to offer serious advice.
 

Reto

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Originally posted by squirrels
Be specific. You're too vague about what you're doing that's "mean" for anyone to offer serious advice.
Yeah, if it's in a playful way, and you busted on her, you're in.

If you called her a wh0re and spit in her face, yeah. You're mean...
 

DankNuggs

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Originally posted by AFK Protector
ok screw it all again. This girl wasn't exactly a goodie two shoes towards me neither. Some women deserve my respect, others don't. She's simply not one of them. I'm gonna ignore her. I dno't need people like her in my life. Freaking control freak think she owns by AFK protecting 4ss. And about by book convo. now that i think about it, i did the right thing. She can carry her own d@mn books. Always freeloading off stuff I'm accountable for. God, I'm mad. There's my plan:

-Believe in what I believe
-Respect people who respect me back
-Don't take **** from girls like her
-Deny false accusations. :\
I presume you're in HS, you are wise beyond your years...Remember that list you made...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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uniassign

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Being called "mean" is good.

It is also a test to see whether you will back track to being "nice". If you do, then the girl loses attraction straight away because she knows that it is just an act you are putting on.

When a girl calls me "mean" or "bastard" or something along those lines, I just laugh at her and then sarcastly be SUPER nice to her (hug her, pat her on the head etc).
 

LordBrian

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A friend of mine who I am not DJing calls me an A-hole after watching me with other girls. I think thats better than being a nice guy...

Its funny, after she says that I say,

"Now ask me if I care"

*imitating a girls voice* "Do you care brian?"

"No, I dont"

followed by a laugh.
 

Walk this Way

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It's not mean if you make sure she knows you're just joking. One time a woman and I were teasing each other, and I crossed the line when I said, "Hey you know ________, I was petting my dog last night in my dream. And then I realized it was your leg!" [Yeah, it was that kinda night]. And she laughed but sounded like she felt bad, so I went up to her, put my arm around her, brought her close too my body, and tenderly kissed her and she smiled.

I hate being mean, or overly macho. There's a very real difference between being a jerk or a player and being a decent person.
 

ScrewIt

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Originally posted by Walk this Way
It's not mean if you make sure she knows you're just joking. One time a woman and I were teasing each other, and I crossed the line when I said, "Hey you know ________, I was petting my dog last night in my dream. And then I realized it was your leg!" [Yeah, it was that kinda night]. And she laughed but sounded like she felt bad, so I went up to her, put my arm around her, brought her close too my body, and tenderly kissed her and she smiled.

I hate being mean, or overly macho. There's a very real difference between being a jerk or a player and being a decent person.
walkthisway: was that HB your gf or someone you were dating. cause no girl would let you kiss them unless you they're already intimate with you.

yea, there's a difference between beinga jerk,player, and nice guy. you can be called a jerk, just cause of the things you do. but the girls will call on it as if it's a tease. actually, if a girl said that i was mean or a jerk, i would take it as a compliment.
it's something you rarely hear them say, and when they do say it, it means they have a somehwat high IL in you.
It's easy to tell if they're joking by the expression on their face, and by what you did to them. if you actualy did something bad to hurt their feelings or criticize them...then u KNOW you were being a ****.

on the other hand, if they call you a DI*K, then, well they just plain hate your guts.
 

AFK Protector

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Ok guys. I'm back. Yea, I'm in high school. I guess I was freaking out about a research paper, a few debate/math tourneys etc. Very nice points. I think the last post I made contradicted itself. I'm not going to go back being nice. Yes, decent and interesting is good...nice is just boring. I'm not letting her push me around anymore, which I feel is my biggest accomplishment so far. I'm gonna stick to those 4 things.

When they call me mean, its after: I don't act like a chump and their personal b1tch. I offer resistance. I make them wait. I don't give them money (lol...I never give them money).

^^^I noticed all of those have DON'T in them in reference to stuff I don't do for them. I'm through with that crap. i'm here to live my own life...I mean...hell, I don't even get PAID for that first class service I used to perform.

And you're all right. Now that I think of it, when I'm just a TAD bit "mean" (joking around with them...I always make it apparent I'm joking...they must be dense or something) they say I'm mean...when I KNOW there are guys they put up with 10 times as "mean" as me...if you can call me mean. Great tips, thanks for the encouragement, and it feels great to be back.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

AFK Protector

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Originally posted by Reto
Yeah, if it's in a playful way, and you busted on her, you're in.

If you called her a wh0re and spit in her face, yeah. You're mean...
100% playful/teasing/flirting/joking. Good point. I needed that cold hard slap. I don't call girls wh0res, b1tches, or other derogatory terms.
 

Walk this Way

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Originally posted by ScrewIt
walkthisway: was that HB your gf or someone you were dating. cause no girl would let you kiss them unless you they're already intimate with you.

She was a close friend. We had dated once before, and she was single when I kissed her, so it was no big deal. And I did it abruptly, so yeah...
 
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