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Girl suddenly changed after 1.5 years

Baibars

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I'm in a bit ****ed up situation right now emotionally and i need your advice. I've been on this forum for some times after my kids mother left me back then.

I had a pretty good recovery and made progress careerwise. I drive a brand new car now and i'd say i have my **** together more than i ever did. So about 1.5 years ago i met this 22 year old single mother (i'm 29, 2 kids that don't live with me).

I really liked her. She's a shy nice girl and at first i thought i can just have fun time with her. We live 2 hours apart and she would drive to me whenever i wanted. We had a lot of sex. I drove to her too sometimes but it was always clear that i had the ''power'' in the relationship.
I would do push and pull a lot of times. Idk why, i guess i loved getting her validation because everytime i did that, she chased me. We even had holidays 2 times together.
So a few weeks ago after we came back home from our holiday in greece, i stopped texting her again and we had a argument over text. But this time she didn't seem to care much.
I didn't hear anything from her so i texted her that i don't want to meet her anymore which she just ignored.
During that time i moved to another place which is a bit far from family and friends. I felt lonely and started and texted her again.

Then she acted totally different and distant. She even admitted that she had a body count of more than 2 and that she lied about that in the beginning ( which i already knew but i just liked her validation and i didn't know i was gonna be attached). When i asked her how high, she said she didnt know exactly and she was with ''bad'' people that used her. We met yesterday and she hugged me but didn't want to kiss or **** because of her feelings. She also cried and i showed emotions in front of her too which i never did before.

She's not trying to be in a relationship with me now but it seems like she's very emotional and she says that i always treated her like dirt etc.

I was really shocked about the change and acted extremely emotional. I even apologized.

what should i do now? Just move on? I really developed emotions for her. She never had issues showing me her phone when we together, she would text me every morning, she would care so much about me and now everything changed.

green flags: extremely friendly and submissive, did anything i want
red flags: weed smoker, single mom, notch count
 
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AureliusMaximus

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I'm in a bit ****ed up situation right now emotionally and i need your advice. I've been on this forum for some times after my kids mother left me back then.

I had a pretty good recovery and made progress careerwise. I drive a brand new car now and i'd say i have my **** together more than i ever did. So about 1.5 years ago i met this 22 year old single mother (i'm 29, 2 kids that don't live with me).

I really liked her. She's a shy nice girl and at first i thought i can just have fun time with her. We live 2 hours apart and she would drive to me whenever i wanted. We had a lot of sex. I drove to her too sometimes but it was always clear that i had the ''power'' in the relationship.
I would do push and pull a lot of times. Idk why, i guess i loved getting her validation because everytime i did that, she chased me. We even had holidays 2 times together.
So a few weeks ago after we came back home from our holiday in greece, i stopped texting her again and we had a argument over text. But this time she didn't seem to care much.
I didn't hear anything from her so i texted her that i don't want to meet her anymore which she just ignored.
During that time i moved to another place which is a bit far from family and friends. I felt lonely and started and texted her again.

Then she acted totally different and distant. She even admitted that she had a body count of more than 2 and that she lied about that in the beginning ( which i already knew but i just liked her validation and i didn't know i was gonna be attached). When i asked her how high, she said she didnt know exactly and she was with ''bad'' people that used her. We met yesterday and she hugged me but didn't want to kiss or **** because of her feelings. She also cried and i showed emotions in front of her too which i never did before.

She's not trying to be in a relationship with me now but it seems like she's very emotional and she says that i always treated her like dirt etc.

I was really shocked about the change and acted extremely emotional. I even apologized.

what should i do now? Just move on? I really developed emotions for her. She never had issues showing me her phone when we together, she would text me every morning, she would care so much about me and now everything changed.

green flags: extremely friendly and submissive, did anything i want
red flags: weed smoker, single mom, notch count
She's found another dude.
We met yesterday and she hugged me but didn't want to kiss or **** because of her feelings.
This is what girls do when they want to end the LTR and have already moved on to next dyck.
Like the saying goes: She's never yours, it was just your turn.

I was really shocked about the change and acted extremely emotional. I even apologized.
Never apologize to a woman. It makes you look weak in their eyes and thus you are losing your frame as the solid rock in their eyes.
 

Baibars

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I deleted everything from her and her number. It hurts and I got attached but at this point she doesn’t even value me enough to kiss or have sex with me.
she doesn’t proactively text me. It’s not what it used to be. I feel like **** but guess I have to go through it.
 

Learning Curve

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Firstly, the push and pull does work very well in the beginning.

Once you progress through the relationship it becomes a problem. Because the women feels you are never authentic in a way if you keep doing that.

You can tease and push and pull but once you progress into the relationship if that's what you want you have to become more authentic with the woman. You stated that you always had the "power" in the relationship. This is your main core problem.

You are measuring who has the power. Yet what you need to do is simply let her chase at-least 80% of the time, set dates bang and repeat.

You are acting like a robot i sense. You are following rules and plans which i fully understand that you have to so you don't look weak. But you need to also understand that being authentic as the LTR grows is what will the woman see because the games eventually evaporate as the relationship grows.

Yes you can have the upper hand or "power" as you stated by not expressing too much emotions let her do all that. Let her tell you the i love you's and i want LTR with you and all that.

The thing is that she is very emotional suddenly which could be a sign of guilt because she probably banged another guy. Or she is simply expressing her dissatisfaction with you in which you don't need to do much. Don't apologize any more.

Tell her simply that you want to see her and work things out. If she does not agree or ignores your texts or does not bring up anything about getting together as well then never contact her again.

That's it.

Too much chasing in this case will turn her off, yet doing nothing will make her hamster spin. When a woman goes distant the cure is always doing nothing. Let her chase.
 

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Baibars

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She simply wants better than what you are giving her. Which is smart on her part.
She always wanted me to do more with her and her child. I told her that I like kids but I can’t treat her kid like mine and that I don’t want to be a stepfather.
She kept talking about that and also about our future. As much as I liked her I knew what kind of girl she was and that I shouldn’t wife her. I told her that I was ok with the relationship how it was.
 

CornbreadFed

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I had a pretty good recovery and made progress careerwise. I drive a brand new car now and i'd say i have my **** together more than i ever did. So about 1.5 years ago i met this 22 year old single mother (i'm 29, 2 kids that don't live with me).
No guy under with their shvt together dates a single mom


I really liked her. She's a shy nice girl and at first i thought i can just have fun time with her. We live 2 hours apart and she would drive to me whenever i wanted.
All I needed to read to make my decision. You settled for a single mom, 2 hour LDR, and you are shocked this relationship failed?!? Move on, and date a non single mom that doesn’t live 2 hours away for starts.
 
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Baibars

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No guy under with their shvt together dates a single mom




All I needed to read to make my decision. You settled for a single mom with 2 kids by 22, 2 hour LDR, and you are shocked this relationship failed?!? Move on, and date a non single mom that doesn’t live 2 hours away for starts.
no, I have 2 kids. She has 1.
 

CornbreadFed

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no, I have 2 kids. She has 1.
same thing applies, find a non single mom without kids that doesn’t live 2 hours away. If you show passion and an upward trajectory, a single dad doesn’t have the same stigma as a single mom.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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If you show passion and an upward trajectory, a single dad doesn’t have the same stigma as a single mom.
When you're 40+, being a divorced father will actually rank you higher than a single bachelor of the same age, because you show that you could shoulder the responsibility of fatherhood and longterm commitment (especially if you didn't initiate the breakup/divorce).
 

BackInTheGame78

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She always wanted me to do more with her and her child. I told her that I like kids but I can’t treat her kid like mine and that I don’t want to be a stepfather.
She kept talking about that and also about our future. As much as I liked her I knew what kind of girl she was and that I shouldn’t wife her. I told her that I was ok with the relationship how it was.
Then it is what it is. She finally realized she was wasting her time with you.

Move on, you want different things in life and that's OK. What's not OK is for you to try and get her back so you can waste more of her time once she has basically told you she has had enough.
 

Baibars

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Then it is what it is. She finally realized she was wasting her time with you.

Move on, you want different things in life and that's OK. What's not OK is for you to try and get her back so you can waste more of her time once she has basically told you she has had enough.
But I catched feelings and I like her.
 

CornbreadFed

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When you're 40+, being a divorced father will actually rank you higher than a single bachelor of the same age, because you show that you could shoulder the responsibility of fatherhood and longterm commitment (especially if you didn't initiate the breakup/divorce).
my breastraunt worker neighbor settled for a single dad jiujutsu owner.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Rule #1 of LTR break ups, never ever leave on a bad note, the world is small, your turn might be over now but if she's comfortable she'll come back of her own accord at the right time, if you exit badly though she never will.

Im surprised you told her not to contact you right after taking her on a trip, the push and pull can't be your entire relationship.

Definitely not the first time I've heard of a woman getting her last trip in before a break up.

Sounds like you caught feels pretty bad, just be glad she ain't your baby momma
 

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soulforge

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I can't n
Firstly, the push and pull does work very well in the beginning.

Once you progress through the relationship it becomes a problem. Because the women feels you are never authentic in a way if you keep doing that.

You can tease and push and pull but once you progress into the relationship if that's what you want you have to become more authentic with the woman. You stated that you always had the "power" in the relationship. This is your main core problem.

You are measuring who has the power. Yet what you need to do is simply let her chase at-least 80% of the time, set dates bang and repeat.

You are acting like a robot i sense. You are following rules and plans which i fully understand that you have to so you don't look weak. But you need to also understand that being authentic as the LTR grows is what will the woman see because the games eventually evaporate as the relationship grows.

Yes you can have the upper hand or "power" as you stated by not expressing too much emotions let her do all that. Let her tell you the i love you's and i want LTR with you and all that.

The thing is that she is very emotional suddenly which could be a sign of guilt because she probably banged another guy. Or she is simply expressing her dissatisfaction with you in which you don't need to do much. Don't apologize any more.

Tell her simply that you want to see her and work things out. If she does not agree or ignores your texts or does not bring up anything about getting together as well then never contact her again.

That's it.

Too much chasing in this case will turn her off, yet doing nothing will make her hamster spin. When a woman goes distant the cure is always doing nothing. Let her chase.
I concur with this. Once I get into an LTR situation with a girl, I try not to intentionally over game her.

I still allow her to do 70% of the contacting & let her do most of the "I love you" and effection etc.. However I don't see the point of deliberately applying push/pull just to make myself feel good or validated.

Regarding OPs situation, we don't know for a fact another dude is in the picture. It's more likely she has gotten sick of the games and OP showed weakness by getting all emotional and chit.

Lost Frame.
 

soulforge

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No guy under with their shvt together dates a single mom




All I needed to read to make my decision. You settled for a single mom, 2 hour LDR, and you are shocked this relationship failed?!? Move on, and date a non single mom that doesn’t live 2 hours away for starts.
Easier said than done.
 

soulforge

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Rule #1 of LTR break ups, never ever leave on a bad note, the world is small, your turn might be over now but if she's comfortable she'll come back of her own accord at the right time, if you exit badly though she never will.

Im surprised you told her not to contact you right after taking her on a trip, the push and pull can't be your entire relationship.

Definitely not the first time I've heard of a woman getting her last trip in before a break up.

Sounds like you caught feels pretty bad, just be glad she ain't your baby momma
Depends on the chick you are dealing with.

When it's comes to crazee chicks, a bad break up is sometimes inevitable.

However I do concur, this girl op is dealing with seemed like a good one overall.

He should attempt once to talk to her, and if she isn't interested, he simply leaves her alone on a good note.
 

stringpuller

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I'm in a bit ****ed up situation right now emotionally and i need your advice. I've been on this forum for some times after my kids mother left me back then.

I had a pretty good recovery and made progress careerwise. I drive a brand new car now and i'd say i have my **** together more than i ever did. So about 1.5 years ago i met this 22 year old single mother (i'm 29, 2 kids that don't live with me).

I really liked her. She's a shy nice girl and at first i thought i can just have fun time with her. We live 2 hours apart and she would drive to me whenever i wanted. We had a lot of sex. I drove to her too sometimes but it was always clear that i had the ''power'' in the relationship.
I would do push and pull a lot of times. Idk why, i guess i loved getting her validation because everytime i did that, she chased me. We even had holidays 2 times together.
So a few weeks ago after we came back home from our holiday in greece, i stopped texting her again and we had a argument over text. But this time she didn't seem to care much.
I didn't hear anything from her so i texted her that i don't want to meet her anymore which she just ignored.
During that time i moved to another place which is a bit far from family and friends. I felt lonely and started and texted her again.

Then she acted totally different and distant. She even admitted that she had a body count of more than 2 and that she lied about that in the beginning ( which i already knew but i just liked her validation and i didn't know i was gonna be attached). When i asked her how high, she said she didnt know exactly and she was with ''bad'' people that used her. We met yesterday and she hugged me but didn't want to kiss or **** because of her feelings. She also cried and i showed emotions in front of her too which i never did before.

She's not trying to be in a relationship with me now but it seems like she's very emotional and she says that i always treated her like dirt etc.

I was really shocked about the change and acted extremely emotional. I even apologized.

what should i do now? Just move on? I really developed emotions for her. She never had issues showing me her phone when we together, she would text me every morning, she would care so much about me and now everything changed.

green flags: extremely friendly and submissive, did anything i want
red flags: weed smoker, single mom, notch count
Ignore her. You been here a while you know the drill.
22 years old she going to want to settle down again. Her ovaries are going to start screaming.
If she's not going to plate nothing you can do.
PS. She getting some side dik. I 100% promise you she's got another dude. 2 hrs apart. Lol yeah
 
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