She always wanted me to do more with her and her child. I told her that I like kids but I can’t treat her kid like mine and that I don’t want to be a stepfather.
She kept talking about that and also about our future. As much as I liked her I knew what kind of girl she was and that I shouldn’t wife her. I told her that I was ok with the relationship how it was.
Don't beat yourself up for not settling. Your brain going to tell you it was all your fault.
You may have dodged one. Don't listen to these dudes on here telling you didn't step up and take care of her and kiddo.
Thats beta BS. Esp at 29. You are in your prime.
Makes me sick seeing the emotional "you didn't offer more bro"
Shes at that age post ran through looking for the provider.
And you guys in here with the "step up" stuff in this guys situation could very well cost a guy a ton of misery with that beta crap advice. This guy is 29
Re target 18-23 yr olds with ZERO kids. You will be better off
https://dnyuz.com/2023/09/08/affirmative-action-is-still-in-effect-for-men/ Even so, several women at Tulane expressed to me their sense that the gender ratio left them with fewer options, in sheer numbers and in the kinds of relationships available to them. Emma Roberts, who graduated from...
Don't beat yourself up for not settling. Your brain going to tell you it was all your fault.
You may have dodged one. Don't listen to these dudes on here telling you didn't step up and take care of her and kiddo.
Thats beta BS. Esp at 29. You are in your prime.
Makes me sick seeing the emotional "you didn't offer more bro"
Shes at that age post ran through looking for the provider.
And you guys in here with the "step up" stuff in this guys situation could very well cost a guy a ton of misery with that beta crap advice. This guy is 29
Re target 18-23 yr olds with ZERO kids. You will be better off
i didn’t plan to settle and I always rejected to settle when she talked about the topic. I was just satisfied with her bombing me with sex/love, submissiveness and all of these things.
She would do anything for me. She would never say no to anything. But now she changed so much and when I saw her she didn’t let me kiss, she was saying I hurt her when I touched her and she was cold. She did cry but didn’t want to be intimate.
i didn’t expect that and now I feel like crap..
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Firstly, the push and pull does work very well in the beginning.
Once you progress through the relationship it becomes a problem. Because the women feels you are never authentic in a way if you keep doing that.
You can tease and push and pull but once you progress into the relationship if that's what you want you have to become more authentic with the woman. You stated that you always had the "power" in the relationship. This is your main core problem.
You are measuring who has the power. Yet what you need to do is simply let her chase at-least 80% of the time, set dates bang and repeat.
You are acting like a robot i sense. You are following rules and plans which i fully understand that you have to so you don't look weak. But you need to also understand that being authentic as the LTR grows is what will the woman see because the games eventually evaporate as the relationship grows.
Yes you can have the upper hand or "power" as you stated by not expressing too much emotions let her do all that. Let her tell you the i love you's and i want LTR with you and all that.
The thing is that she is very emotional suddenly which could be a sign of guilt because she probably banged another guy. Or she is simply expressing her dissatisfaction with you in which you don't need to do much. Don't apologize any more.
Tell her simply that you want to see her and work things out. If she does not agree or ignores your texts or does not bring up anything about getting together as well then never contact her again.
That's it.
Too much chasing in this case will turn her off, yet doing nothing will make her hamster spin. When a woman goes distant the cure is always doing nothing. Let her chase.
thank you for your advice. She said she didn’t talk to another guy when I met her yesterday but who knows.
I understand what you’re saying and I overdid this push pull thing. I also used it only to get her validation because she was going crazy when I did that.
She said she wasn’t able to keep chasing me emotionally and seems sad but doesn’t initiate contact anymore and also didn’t want anything physical which was odd to me. Then I just left.
i just deleted our chat and already offered her to talk and work this out but I won’t chase her because she really shows not much desire.
i didn’t plan to settle and I always rejected to settle when she talked about the topic. I was just satisfied with her bombing me with sex/love, submissiveness and all of these things.
She would do anything for me. She would never say no to anything. But now she changed so much and when I saw her she didn’t let me kiss, she was saying I hurt her when I touched her and she was cold. She did cry but didn’t want to be intimate.
thank you for your advice. She said she didn’t talk to another guy when I met her yesterday but who knows.
I understand what you’re saying and I overdid this push pull thing. I also used it only to get her validation because she was going crazy when I did that.
She said she wasn’t able to keep chasing me emotionally and seems sad but doesn’t initiate contact anymore and also didn’t want anything physical which was odd to me. Then I just left.
i just deleted our chat and already offered her to talk and work this out but I won’t chase her because she really shows not much desire.
I love you all man. Thanks for listening. This community just saved my ass back then and now you’re supporting me again wether you’re trying to make me man up or give me advice about how to proceed.
If there were no recent signs then it's likely been going on for a long time dude, or your gonna see them in retrospect, anyways to be really honest with you no dude here is gonna get attached to some woman who lives 2 hours away, most of us here understand the nature of women, it's highly unlikely she's just been sitting on her hands when your not around.
@logicallefty just had a thread about his danged wife screwing around when he's gone for a short period of time, some of them are just for the streets
i was texting other girls and using dating apps while I was with her and I know that it’s a bad idea but those women I met didn’t show me genuine desire likethis chick.
Many young beautiful childless girls are high maintenance af. I was planning to keep this one and exit when I would find someone better but during the process I lost myself..
i was texting other girls and using dating apps while I was with her and I know that it’s a bad idea but those women I met didn’t show me genuine desire likethis chick.
Many young beautiful childless girls are high maintenance af. I was planning to keep this one and exit when I would find someone better but during the process I lost myself..
I agree with you on that one. Most young girls these times between age 18-25 are NARCs, attention wh0res, going through the hoe phase, addicted to social media, been ran through by chads, have a fukin mountain of mental health issues.
I feel you man, it's not easy letting go of a genuinely submissive one.
I'm in a bit ****ed up situation right now emotionally and i need your advice. I've been on this forum for some times after my kids mother left me back then.
I had a pretty good recovery and made progress careerwise. I drive a brand new car now and i'd say i have my **** together more than i ever did. So about 1.5 years ago i met this 22 year old single mother (i'm 29, 2 kids that don't live with me).
I really liked her. She's a shy nice girl and at first i thought i can just have fun time with her. We live 2 hours apart and she would drive to me whenever i wanted. We had a lot of sex. I drove to her too sometimes but it was always clear that i had the ''power'' in the relationship.
I would do push and pull a lot of times. Idk why, i guess i loved getting her validation because everytime i did that, she chased me. We even had holidays 2 times together.
So a few weeks ago after we came back home from our holiday in greece, i stopped texting her again and we had a argument over text. But this time she didn't seem to care much.
I didn't hear anything from her so i texted her that i don't want to meet her anymore which she just ignored.
During that time i moved to another place which is a bit far from family and friends. I felt lonely and started and texted her again.
Then she acted totally different and distant. She even admitted that she had a body count of more than 2 and that she lied about that in the beginning ( which i already knew but i just liked her validation and i didn't know i was gonna be attached). When i asked her how high, she said she didnt know exactly and she was with ''bad'' people that used her. We met yesterday and she hugged me but didn't want to kiss or **** because of her feelings. She also cried and i showed emotions in front of her too which i never did before.
She's not trying to be in a relationship with me now but it seems like she's very emotional and she says that i always treated her like dirt etc.
I was really shocked about the change and acted extremely emotional. I even apologized.
what should i do now? Just move on? I really developed emotions for her. She never had issues showing me her phone when we together, she would text me every morning, she would care so much about me and now everything changed.
green flags: extremely friendly and submissive, did anything i want
red flags: weed smoker, single mom, notch count
This means that very likely she is a dead beat that dated other dead beats. Which most likely means a lot of partners
Also, a mom that comes to some dudes place with hours and maybe nights is not a reliable partner to begin with as she is ignoring a very small child in order to pursue pleasure
To me it sounds that you have very low screening abilities and you ended up in this situation ( catching feelings ) by yourself. You were not tricked by her as you let us believe
You playing stupid games while in a relationship with her only pored gas on the fire
Not trying to be a d1ck but you played yourself. Being a 30 years old dude you should have known way better by now. This type of situations are normal for young guys, not for guys at your age
And if you have any self respect remaining you should not rely extensively on tinder to talk with women
If every guy before you was an *sshole abuser - you too will be an *sshole abuser.
She's a "good girl". It's not sleeping around it she's in 30 relationships a year, right? So she's still a good girl, right..?
You need to work on your calibration for LTRs. Pure alpha won't keep a woman around and pure beta will drive them away. Balancing the two are what keeps the tingles and commitment. That being said, she found a new dude and needs to be a good girl, so your turn is up. AWALT.
Check out r/MarriedRedPill if you want to learn this stuff, but I sincerely think you need to go ram through some women and get your head right before jumping to commitment.
When she respects your boundaries, follows your lead, and gives you high investment signals, toy may want to consider keeping her around.
