"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Girl Lactating

medmackinhoes

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What's up DJ world, hope all things are copasetic. I just read a funny thread about stinky poons which reminded me of a strange car story from highschool that I didn't think much of at the time.

Myself and the girlfriend I had at the time were parked infront of her apartment building messing around in my car; me in the drivers her in the passenger. I was "ringing her bell" while sucking on her nipples at the same time (huge double D's by the way). After taking a breather for a sec I tasted a milky substance in my mouth. When I looked down I noticed that same white milky substance dripping out of her nipple. Now I know women are only supposed to lactate when their pregnant but this chick wasn't prego(trust me). I always wondered then if it were true that only pregnant or nursing women gave milk how come this chick was?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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HandyAndy

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medmackinhoes said:
Now I know women are only supposed to lactate when their pregnant but this chick wasn't prego(trust me). I always wondered then if it were true that only pregnant or nursing women gave milk how come this chick was?
If women can only lactate when theyre pregnant how do they breast feed their children??

Doesn't make sense...
 

LuckyBob

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HandyAndy said:
If women can only lactate when theyre pregnant how do they breast feed their children??

Doesn't make sense...
I thought it was hormones that run through you after you give birth.
 

HandyAndy

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LuckyBob said:
I thought it was hormones that run through you after you give birth.
Yeah the body only lactates when it has the pregnancy hormones going through it.

medmackinhoes is not normal unless of course you or some one else is playing with or sucking on her breasts, which of course you were doing, that would cause hormones to start to lactate meaning her body was tricked into thinking it needs to produce milk to feed a baby or.....you
 

DJDamage

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She probably wasn't pregnant but more likely she was either a real slvt (lot of guys were sucking on her nipples every week) or crazy (on meds):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactation

Women who have never been pregnant are sometimes able to induce enough lactation to breastfeed. This is called "induced lactation". A woman who has breastfed before and re-starts is said to "relactate". If the nipples are consistently stimulated by a breast pump or actual suckling, the breasts will eventually begin to produce enough milk to begin feeding a baby. Once established, lactation adjusts to demand
Some drugs, primarily atypical antipsychotics such as Risperdal, may cause lactation in both women and men
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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shaunuk

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haha I did always wonder what it tastes like...can you remember? Was she embarassed or weirded out by it btw?
 
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