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Girl I'm Seeing Got Aggressive With Me

soulforge

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She showed no respect for you with the “shut the fvck up” outburst. This will continue in multiple forms from here on out. The “let’s end this“ speech is a manipulation tactic to control the frame. Don’t fall for her games and do her the favor and end this. You should expect more respect from the person you are dating. Once she has no respect, she will walk all over you. No pu$$y is worth this type of behavior.

Sounds like a “great“ holiday is in your future If you decide to go.
Honestly I have a keen gut instinct. My feeling about her stating "lets end this" is a manipulation tactic and not genuine.

Her hook to pull me back in, is to holiday together and somehow work it out.

However the disrespect and absolutely no accountability or apology or ever accepting she went too far, is a massive problem.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Let’s say I am wrong and she is just doing all of this as a manipulative game like you are saying. Why the hell would you still want to be in a relationship with this person though?
This is another thing...this type of toxicity is not something I would ever want to be a part of. The first sign a woman likes these type of relationships, I will run not walk away from them. And this has likely manifested in other ways throughout the relationship, whether it be some type of drama, petty arguments, etc.

No time in my life for these type of people. They suck the soul and life force out of you.
 

soulforge

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Let’s say I am wrong and she is just doing all of this as a manipulative game like you are saying. Why the hell would you still want to be in a relationship with this person though?
I don't and shouldn't be in a relationship with her.

Like I said, putting the entire relationship on the line (even though it might be a game to her) is going way too far!

I can't see any going back after this.

I feel a little bad for leaving her house like that in the morning, but I felt disrespected, and she turned her back to me and went to sleep without giving a fvk about how she acted
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Brother, i know where you’re at, trust me this ends badly. Go NC, chances are you won’t, but you’ll learn hopefully.

She has lost respect for you, once that’s done you have to do a Hail Mary it’s the only chance, if it sucedes it still will require your vigilance non-stop, and it just is not worth it.



I totally understand you, however my man I don't think she outright ended things.

"I think it's time to end things, no point in going on if you can't talk. I still want to go on the holiday we booked, when we get there, I can do my own thing and you can do your own thing"

What she means by no point in going on if you can't talk is, she tried calling me a few times but I was in work and couldn't take the call.

Also what is there to talk about... She told me to shvt the fuk up.. no apology, no acknowledgement of any wrong doing, she simply turned her back to me in bed and went to sleep. So I left in the morning.

Wether she clearly ended it or not, what it boils down to is, she took things to another level by mentioning let's just end it.

I don't think there is anything to go back to after this.

I will text her this afternoon and let her know the holiday is cancelled
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Simple question, if this is a woman who doesn't actually want to holiday with me, then why has she sent me 3 text in the last 5 hours asking if we are still going on holiday.

As for your other sentement, you are right.. I need to walk away from this. It's toxic
Because women love travel and she wants pics for her instagram, or insert any other validation she might need.

God man stop, you have a bunch of guys here (that have no interest in cawk blocking you) telling you exactly the same thing. We’ve all been through it probably each and every last one of us telling you to end things just listen to us.

One last thing: women pull the soft break up because of evolutionary conditioning. Historically a woman leaving a man could have serious consequences for her - up to and including a violent death. It’s monkey brain stuff - I swear some of them don’t even know they’re doing it. Women avoid confrontation like that and misbehave so that YOU end it.

This is the last I will say on this. I wish you peace more than anything else.
 
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The Duke

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Honestly I have a keen gut instinct. My feeling about her stating "lets end this" is a manipulation tactic and not genuine.

Her hook to pull me back in, is to holiday together and somehow work it out.

However the disrespect and absolutely no accountability or apology or ever accepting she went too far, is a massive problem.
Soulforge, I mean this with respect and only want to see you succeed. Sometimes i am left wondering if you know how to handle yourself and interpret these situations correctly. Maybe you just share these stories to confirm/debrief/verify/reiterate etc. And no harm in that.

The post you shared above tells me you definitely understand.

Doesn't matter why this chic did what she did. The fact that she said what she said is the final nail in her coffin. Doesn't matter if it came from a place of anger or manipulation. It's highly disrespectful and you will see more of this if you stay. You know this.
 
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Rainman4707

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Long story short.. She is trying to control the frame on when we see eachother and where we meet.

For example it's the bank holiday here in the UK, we was meant to spend the entire weekend together, however last night she tells me that she needs to come home early on Sunday as she wants to spend a few hours with her mother on Sunday.

This kinda screwed up my plans for the weekend, so I suggested how about you come back to see your mother for a few hours and then get the train back over to my house for the rest of weekend.

She starts complaining about she doesn't want to travel back and forth and I need to come and stop at her house instead.

The travel time is literally 15 minutes so it isn't even a big deal.

This is actually the 3rd weekend in a row that she has tried to change our weekend plans, so I told her that on this occasion I will come back to your house, however I am not willing to keep changing plans for you every weekend.

We need to try stick to plans and besides I already spend 2 nights a week at her house already.

She began getting argumentative and somewhat aggressive, talking over me, then she told me to SHUT THE FVK UP

This really pizzed me off and I told her that you can't talk to me in that way... In-fact I will go home as your being aggressive and talking to me in a way I don't like.

It was very late and I was at her house, getting home that late was a problem, so I told her I will leave in the morning.

This morning while she slept I left her house and came to work. She didn't notice me leaving.

However when she woke up she began blowing up my phone.

I couldn't answer because I was already in work.

After calling me 3x she sent me this text.

" I think it's time to end things, no point in going on if you can't talk. I still want to go on the holiday we booked, when we get there, I can do my own thing and you can do your own thing"

First of all I am pretty sure she ended it out of frustration and impulse.

Also now that she pulled the ending it card, I can't see how I can possibly work things out with her again.

We have a 10 day holiday abroad in 10 days time and I don't think I want to go with her under these conditions.

She is under the impression that we can go on this holiday even after breaking up.


I think I will let her know that considering she called it quits, I no longer want to go on the holiday and will send her the money back that she paid into
I would go on the holiday.
 

soulforge

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Soulforge, I mean this with respect and only want to see you succeed. Sometimes i am left wondering if you know how to handle yourself and interpret these situations correctly. Maybe you just share these stories to confirm/debrief/verify/reiterate etc.

The post you shared above tells me you definitely understand.

Doesn't matter why this chic did what she did. The fact that she said what she said is the final nail in her coffin. Doesn't matter if it came from a place of anger or manipulation. It's highly disrespectful and you will see more of this if you stay.
I can't disagree with you man. The moment a woman starts dropping the, "best end it" line. It's going to be an uphill struggle from that point onwards.

I mean she can literally drop that chit on me at will, over the next argument. And it causes major insecurity in the future of the relationship.

I think her telling me to shvt the fuk up, could have been resolved if she apologized, took accountability and accepted that it was going too far, but I have noticed she lacks accountability.

I Will move on
 

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Canadian_Man

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Simple question, if this is a woman who doesn't actually want to holiday with me, then why has she sent me 3 text in the last 5 hours asking if we are still going on holiday.
Perhaps she has anxiety and wants to know what's going on.

Or maybe she already booked time off from work and cannot undo that, or needs to give notice to do so.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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10 day vacation with someone you’ve known for a month or two?

Dude you’re INSANE.


So you broke up with that Russian last month... and now in a new relationship and going on vacay with a completely new but equally disrespectful girl...

Cmon son.
 

soulforge

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10 day vacation with someone you’ve known for a month or two?

Dude you’re INSANE.
No dude have been seeing her longer, I ain't going to lie it's the same Russian girl I have been seeing for last 6 months.

Last time I posted on here, was because I walked away from her over her becoming argumentative one night. It was me who told her to leave my house. Far as I was concerned it was over between us, however she reached out and wanted to work things out.

It was our first significant break up.. I made it clear at that time, that she can't be talking to me like that, and that chit needs to change otherwise we are done.

This is the second time she has got out of line like this.. And now obviously the last time.
 

Gamisch

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Dont you wanna know how it feels to be liberated from all this bs? You're punching above your weight with this girl. Face the facts. You both think she can do better at this piont...that's the fecking issue!

To refer to the last sentence: it would be different if you would both appreciate one another...apart from " love ". She probably loves you more than she appreciates you. But if you keep projecting insecure energy she will pick up on it untill the bkth of you believe it. You could also believe you are the shyte, and she is lucky to have you despite whatever flaws you have. Different mentality.

You are a poosy. Sorry bro. I've been that poosy way too often to not be able to recognize it from ten mile away. You gotta ask yourself; "what do I actually accomplish with all this stress/drama /uncertainty/degrading of self/ toxicity/disrespect and the list goes on and on" ? What is the goal behind all this? Why do you allow another person to control your mind like that Pinky and the Brain cartoon?

You won't leave her. I will be waiting for your next post about her. And if anything, I do see her behaviour gets increasingly worse.
 

soulforge

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Dont you wanna know how it feels to be liberated from all this bs? You're punching above your weight with this girl. Face the facts. You both think she can do better at this piont...that's the fecking issue!

To refer to the last sentence: it would be different if you would both appreciate one another...apart from " love ". She probably loves you more than she appreciates you. But if you keep projecting insecure energy she will pick up on it untill the bkth of you believe it. You could also believe you are the shyte, and she is lucky to have you despite whatever flaws you have. Different mentality.

You are a poosy. Sorry bro. I've been that poosy way too often to not be able to recognize it from ten mile away. You gotta ask yourself; "what do I actually accomplish with all this stress/drama /uncertainty/degrading of self/ toxicity/disrespect and the list goes on and on" ? What is the goal behind all this? Why do you allow another person to control your mind like that Pinky and the Brain cartoon?

You won't leave her. I will be waiting for your next post about her. And if anything, I do see her behaviour gets increasingly worse.
Sorry dude I think your under the impression that she has overtly disrespected me many times. She hasn't... This is the 2nd time when she really over stepped the line.

And this is the last time
 

Gamisch

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On a technical DJ level; leaving her is the only way to even stand a chance at regaining respect (what = attraction).

You can blabla yadiya all you want about how she should behave; she will have trouble to hold herself from laughing. You gottta talk with ACTIONS and DEEDS. She does..

You can't be afraid to throw the fish back in to the water. Let her go. Give her ( and yourself ) some breathing room to think. It's the only way to improve this. By taking actions, putting yourself at numero uno, showing her you mean business AND setting yourself up for a better fitting woman in the (near?) future.

So leaving her and actually telling her you're leaving is a win win for you. You win your self respect back, you win some experience, you win due knowing what kinda woman you can pull ,and you lose a woman who lost respect for you, that another win.
 
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