Girl I don't know hangs up on me

dont-click-me

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I've met this girl online. We arranged for a phone call and she seemed quite interested. I felt I got every possible sh*t test out there from her and passed most of them.

However, toward the end, there was one sensitive topic where I started to explain myself and I instead of just brushing it off in a non-needy way, I felt, because it is somewhat important to me, I'll just explain it to her. The explaining probably came off as a bit needy because I was justifying something.

So mid-explanation she just hangs up on me.

Tried to call her back right there and then, but only got her voicemail. I reasoned she either ran out of battery and would get back to me later or she hang up on me because I f*cked up.

This was last Monday and I haven't heard back from her since then. Secretly, I was hoping it was just another sh*t test and she would get back to me eventually. That didn't happen. Now, my mind keeps telling me, since I have nothing to lose, to just reapproach her through WhatsApp. But before I kind of thought: 'Probably a case of low-interest, so I'll just leave it at that to spare myself further headache down the road'.

I guess basically my question is: When do you lead and when do you just let it go? Online, I also read about non-needy persistence. Not sure, what's appropriate in my case.

What would you guys do?

Additional info:
I'm a total newbie. Probably a case of oneitis as she is very hot and I'm not involved with any other girls right now. Entire call went 1:35 hrs, way too long. Wanted to hang-up in-between because it was early in the morning but she kept on asking questions. I was looking for something long-term.
 

Tictac

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I've met this girl online. We arranged for a phone call and she seemed quite interested. I felt I got every possible sh*t test out there from her and passed most of them.

However, toward the end, there was one sensitive topic where I started to explain myself and I instead of just brushing it off in a non-needy way, I felt, because it is somewhat important to me, I'll just explain it to her. The explaining probably came off as a bit needy because I was justifying something.

So mid-explanation she just hangs up on me.

Tried to call her back right there and then, but only got her voicemail. I reasoned she either ran out of battery and would get back to me later or she hang up on me because I f*cked up.

This was last Monday and I haven't heard back from her since then. Secretly, I was hoping it was just another sh*t test and she would get back to me eventually. That didn't happen. Now, my mind keeps telling me, since I have nothing to lose, to just reapproach her through WhatsApp. But before I kind of thought: 'Probably a case of low-interest, so I'll just leave it at that to spare myself further headache down the road'.

I guess basically my question is: When do you lead and when do you just let it go? Online, I also read about non-needy persistence. Not sure, what's appropriate in my case.

What would you guys do?

Additional info:
I'm a total newbie. Probably a case of oneitis as she is very hot and I'm not involved with any other girls right now. Entire call went 1:35 hrs, way too long. Wanted to hang-up in-between because it was early in the morning but she kept on asking questions. I was looking for something long-term.
Nothing to do here. Move along.

You don't look for something 'long-term' on a first phone call.

Electronic messaging, voice or text, is for setting dates.
 

Glassguy

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So her battery died. Within 5 minutes of charging it she could have texted you and explained. But we know her battery didnt die or she would have texted you an explanation as soon as she got enough juice back in it to text. She hung up on you.

I am not sure why you would contact her again, regardless what your mind is telling you. Move on. If she reaches back out, show low interest but do not mention her hanging up on you. In her eyes you have too many other things going on to let that bother you in the least bit. As far as you're concerned it didnt even happen.

Find 2-3 more chicks and keep the phone convos short (10 minutes) so they have something to look forward to the next time they want to talk to you.

Thats the problem with talking to one chick. Early on something happens and your back to square one again. Spin more plates.
 

dont-click-me

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Thanks TicTac. I was thinking the same thing. First thing I did was to try and set up a date. Unfortunately, she rejected the idea and was telling me, she doesn't know me enough yet for a date.

Thanks Glassguy. I was thinking the same thing up until yesterday when doubts started creeping in because she hasn't tried to get in touch and I was kind of betting on that.

What do you guys do if the girl rejects the idea of a date by claiming she doesn't know you enough yet? That never happened to me but I was thinking: 'Ok, I could be a psycho, so she is just making sure I'm not.'
 

Visionist

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Lately I've gone from extreme to extreme; I was used to talking way, way too much online with a chick (whom I'd already met however briefly) before attempting to setup a date which always ended in head (and even heart) aches. They'd basically friendzone me online and refuse to meet. Now I barely talk at-all and go for the date practically straight away; lots more rejection results, as they don't know me and aren't adventurous types it seems. I've also been told "I'll be there, I promise! :-D" only to be flaked-on without so much as an explanation.

The solution lies between these extremes I expect. Sparse, top quality texts, seductive, with a maximum of three/four texts per conversation, to build maximum rapport with minimum engagement. Then ask her out by stating where I'm going and that she would be welcome to join me. We'll see if these shy Italian chicks bite.
 

Tictac

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Thanks TicTac. I was thinking the same thing. First thing I did was to try and set up a date. Unfortunately, she rejected the idea and was telling me, she doesn't know me enough yet for a date.

Thanks Glassguy. I was thinking the same thing up until yesterday when doubts started creeping in because she hasn't tried to get in touch and I was kind of betting on that.

What do you guys do if the girl rejects the idea of a date by claiming she doesn't know you enough yet? That never happened to me but I was thinking: 'Ok, I could be a psycho, so she is just making sure I'm not.'
Tell her that's what dates are for. I make jokes about convincing each other that 'we're not stalkers or serial killers' which she could be as easily as you.

Whatever reason a woman gives you for saying no, they are saying 'no'. Accept it and move on. You can say that if she changes her mind, she should get back to you. Then end the call.

Everything you did after that was you extending your mistake for an hour and a half.
 

dont-click-me

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Visionist, you are right. My text game worked out quite nicely. I've been confident and ****y and even used social proof. In only five message I had her on the phone which is when things started to go downhill. I guess my text game was more alpha than I am. I'm still figuring it out.

I'll try your advice next time, Tictac. Part of my beta brain tells me though that I'll never hear from her again if I do that.
 

ZTIME

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I've met this girl online. We arranged for a phone call and she seemed quite interested. I felt I got every possible sh*t test out there from her and passed most of them.

However, toward the end, there was one sensitive topic where I started to explain myself and I instead of just brushing it off in a non-needy way, I felt, because it is somewhat important to me, I'll just explain it to her. The explaining probably came off as a bit needy because I was justifying something.

So mid-explanation she just hangs up on me.

Tried to call her back right there and then, but only got her voicemail. I reasoned she either ran out of battery and would get back to me later or she hang up on me because I f*cked up.

This was last Monday and I haven't heard back from her since then. Secretly, I was hoping it was just another sh*t test and she would get back to me eventually. That didn't happen. Now, my mind keeps telling me, since I have nothing to lose, to just reapproach her through WhatsApp. But before I kind of thought: 'Probably a case of low-interest, so I'll just leave it at that to spare myself further headache down the road'.

I guess basically my question is: When do you lead and when do you just let it go? Online, I also read about non-needy persistence. Not sure, what's appropriate in my case.

What would you guys do?

Additional info:
I'm a total newbie. Probably a case of oneitis as she is very hot and I'm not involved with any other girls right now. Entire call went 1:35 hrs, way too long. Wanted to hang-up in-between because it was early in the morning but she kept on asking questions. I was looking for something long-term.
No more of your time should be spent reflecting on a girl you never met. Chalk this one up as experience, and get back out there.

It's kind of like fishing. Some are keepers and some aren't. When you throw your fish back do you sit around wishing it was a better fish or do you re bait and keep fishing?
 

marmel75

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This is why you talk/text as little as possible to get her out. The more you say without them knowing you or seeing you in person first, the more likely you are going to say something that turns them off or causes them not to meet.
 

RangerMIke

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Don't take it personal it happens to all of us. No telling what you did wrong, different women have different triggers. Had a date with one a couple of weeks ago, date went well, she wanted to make more plans on the spot for another date.... while on the phone with her later that week, while we are talking, out of the blue she bleats out, "You're making me uncomfortable I don't want to see you this week, maybe I'll call back in a couple of weeks when you get back in town." If she does call me back I'll just tell her, thanks but no thanks. You don't need some flaky @ss female behaving like an idiot.

You are done, move on... not only should you not try with her anymore, then even if she came crawling back you should politely decline having anything to do with her. You really don't need such rude narcissistic people in your life, much less women.
 

Yewki

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What would you guys do?
An hour and a half phone call? To a girl you don't know? Not a good look, way too much investment on your end. Your assessment of oneitis is correct. Doesn't matter what you said during the call, the fact it went that long basically told her, "Hey, I don't have other options."

But with that said, after you called back and she didn't answer I would have sent a simple message like, "Phone call got disconnected" and left it at that. The whole silent treatment routine is a bit immature on both sides. You should always try to take the high road.
 

KingBeef

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Had a date with one a couple of weeks ago, date went well, she wanted to make more plans on the spot for another date.... while on the phone with her later that week, while we are talking, out of the blue she bleats out, "You're making me uncomfortable I don't want to see you this week, maybe I'll call back in a couple of weeks when you get back in town." If she does call me back I'll just tell her, thanks but no thanks. You don't need some flaky @ss female behaving like an idiot.
Insane...she gave you a preview on what nutty bs she'd pull on you if " she didn't get her way."
 

dont-click-me

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Thanks for all your feedback. I decided against sending any additional text messages because I already tried to call her back immediately after the connection got disconnected. A girl who is more interested would have explained that her battery died. But since she didn't and I got cut off while I was talking, I must assume she just hung up on me.
 

dont-click-me

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Yeah Mauser, I think you are spot on. I've been thinking about that myself. It would explain all the single moms trying to find a new daddy on there. Also, fat girls who aren't approached elsewhere and women who - like you put it so well - have some serious issues. Mostly, 30-somethings, still single and desparately trying to calm down their biological clock that is reminding them of the realities of life.

Altogether, I think I was just really lazy myself. Being on these platforms can seriously kill any game you might have because here is what's happening:

You have to work so hard to just get the leftovers whereas in real life, you would not even consider them in the first place. Talk about inflated egos, yeah agreed. I once went out with one of these chicks and boy did I know right there and then at the very first second that I would have never approached her at all. Overweight and way too short. Her photos looked nothing like the girl standing in front of me.

Also you seem to compete with a gazillion douchebags who tell these women exactly what they want to hear. **** that ****. I don't want to be a chameleon that blends into her world and is nowhere to be seen. I prefer to be myself. She doesn't like the crap I'm talking about? Well great, she just spared me many days of disappointment down the road as we wouldn't have been a good match anyway.

Do I care that she hung up on me? Not really, it was an opportunity, nothing more and nothing less. I'm not worse off than I was before.

All you guys have it right: If a girl is into you, she will make it known. You can even be somewhat of an idiot and it won't bother her. She likes you for you.
 
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