Originally posted by iCY
a friend of mine is actually very attractive and gets hiton/approached alot. but the problem is she thinkes she is butt ugly and everytime we talk she brings this negativity into the conversation and it bothers me lol. well she is somewhat like a best friend of 4-5 years and im not trying to lay her or something. how would you show her that she isnt a ug? reasoning doesnt work, you cant just tell them that they are beautiful and expect them to buy it.
You should
not try to show her that she's not ugly. But rather, in subtle ways, confirm her own self-image. I don't mean to put it in her face like "yeah, I agree with you; the way you see yourself is right on the money, you are ugly". But rather agree by failing to disagree. Tell her what a great person she is or some B.S.
Never bother to "fix" girls with bad self-esteem. That problem comes from inside themselves, and your attempts will only backfire on you.
With some of them, almost anything you say to them will be interpreted in ways that confirm their bad self-image, so you look insincere even if you aren't. ("He's just saying nice things to me not because they are true, which they are obviously not, but because of ...''). The imagined reason could be anything from you being a nice guy, to you faking being a nice guy to get in her pants, etc.
Others are just fishing for attention and compliments. Never give chicks exactly what they want, right? If she's fishing for a compliment, find something in which she has solid confidence and compliment that. You gave her a compliment, but not exactly the one she wanted. If she thinks she's has a big ass, tell her that it makes her waist look smaller.