You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Invite her to go at the Pride Parade in MTL.Understood. It's actually the Pride parties in Toronto in a few weeks lol. I don't have a problem with gays but I don't want to be put labelled as the "gay" friend by virtue of attending these events.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
She's basically saying you seem gay to her. That says there something about you that you need to change.I said I am not gay and never want to be. She said don't knock it until you tried it. I'm like...okayyyy....NEXT.
Nothing that needs changing, he did the right thing by just NEXTING her.She's basically saying you seem gay to her. That says there something about you that you need to change.
I didn't say anything. "Okayyyy" was just what I was thinking to myself. I never responded. Nothing about me is gay. I was making out with other girls in front of her in a club. She knows I'm not gay. I haven't made a move on her because I have other plates. She's in my orbit. After that comment she is no longer in my orbit. I've nexted her.She's basically saying you seem gay to her. That says there something about you that you need to change.
Also, that was a gay response. If you were gonna go the snarky route, you should've at least said something funny.
Sometimes, a few words is all it takes. Saves time, anyway.I didn't say anything. "Okayyyy" was just what I was thinking to myself. I never responded. Nothing about me is gay. I was making out with other girls in front of her in a club. She knows I'm not gay. I haven't made a move on her because I have other plates. She's in my orbit. After that comment she is no longer in my orbit. I've nexted her.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
True that. I'm experienced enough to recognize that as lack of interest. I think she was being factious by asking me to go. If she had asked me to go and I made clear I wasn't and gay and she said something like "Don't worry , I'll make sure they don't think you are gay" then maybe I would have gone.Sometimes, a few words is all it takes. Saves time, anyway.
Yeah, she didn't do a good job of selling it.True that. I'm experienced enough to recognize that as lack of interest. I think she was being factious by asking me to go. If she had asked me to go and I made clear I wasn't and gay and she said something like "Don't worry , I'll make sure they don't think you are gay" then maybe I would have gone.
Interesting. Once - maybe 15 years ago - I was at a nightspot that as usual had nothing going on, and I noticed down the street a place called "The Rainbow" that seemed to have a lot of attractive women walking around, so I decided to check it out (for whatever reason, I didn't catch on to the name). Of course, it was a lesbian place; perhaps it was also for homo men, but I didn't see any men in an embrace, so maybe not. In fact, unlike every other nightspot, there were very few men there - and also, unlike every other nightspot, there were a fair number of attractive women. Yes, I know that the stereotypical lesbian is ugly, but these women were easily on average better looking than what was seen at heteronormative places. I was so overwhelmed by how many attractive women were there that it took me a few minutes to realize that they were a lot chummier with each other than what is usually seen, after which, of course, I bolted. I wonder if the men I saw there were just hoping to catch on a lezzie that was feeling adventurous.Alot of straight guys I knew went to gay clubs here in Melbourne.
Hot girls used to go gay clubs, because they wouldn't get hit on as much.
Straight guys figured this out and started going to get the hot girls.
After a while, it stopped being known as a gay club.
If your uncomfortable dont go, But what @cola said made sense.
sounds like she has a fetishI said I am not gay and never want to be. She said don't knock it until you tried it. I'm like...okayyyy....NEXT.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.