Have known this girl a couple of months through mutual friends. We hit it off straight away and I knew she had high interest in me. Last friday we slept together and yesterday we had our first date. Now her birthday is this wednesday. Should I get her something or should I just call and wish her a happy birthday etc. I know she is into me but I am still playing the field;-) Anyway she is still to pass the DJ tests etc! So guys what should I do? My gut feeling is not a lot! I feel its far too early for soppy moments.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Gifts?
- Thread starter Marco
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
check_mate_kid_uk
Master Don Juan
get her somthing thoughtfull but cheap, do not spend a lot of money on her at this point
I wrote an article a while back on gifts for girls.
I have never had a positive experience giving a girl a gift. I went from #1 on their list to non-existent, all because i bought a gift.
I'm not sure how strong your game is, however i would suggest a happy birthday and then leave it at that!
I have never had a positive experience giving a girl a gift. I went from #1 on their list to non-existent, all because i bought a gift.
I'm not sure how strong your game is, however i would suggest a happy birthday and then leave it at that!
strong like bull
Senior Don Juan
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- Nov 5, 2002
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just out of curiousity, by "slept together" you meant "had sex," right? or did you literally mean, slept together in the same bed?
if youve already slept together and the idea of regular sex has been established, its not so bad to give her a gift. its one thing if youre giving a thoughtful gift to a girl youre ****ing; its another thing to constantly shower a girl with attention and gifts, hoping that one day she'll let you get a taste.
that being said, thoughtful is the ticket. something inexpensive and from the heart will go much further than an expensive, impersonal item. as an example, a while back i gave a gift to a girl id been seeing for a while. she always treated me with respect, cooked for me, bought me a pair of nice pants, bought me drinks, food, and just treated me like a king. the gift was not for her birthday or anything , either. no holiday. just a reward for her good behavior. it was something i thought of one day, and knew she would love it.
so what was the gift? a cd i burned, filled to the brim with our favorite love/slow songs. these were songs that we always happened to be listening to during our more intimate moments. songs that popped up on the radio, that we played on the jukebox at our favorite restaurant and others that each of us have personally enjoyed.
she loved it and if anything, it only increased her attraction.
-SLB
if youve already slept together and the idea of regular sex has been established, its not so bad to give her a gift. its one thing if youre giving a thoughtful gift to a girl youre ****ing; its another thing to constantly shower a girl with attention and gifts, hoping that one day she'll let you get a taste.
that being said, thoughtful is the ticket. something inexpensive and from the heart will go much further than an expensive, impersonal item. as an example, a while back i gave a gift to a girl id been seeing for a while. she always treated me with respect, cooked for me, bought me a pair of nice pants, bought me drinks, food, and just treated me like a king. the gift was not for her birthday or anything , either. no holiday. just a reward for her good behavior. it was something i thought of one day, and knew she would love it.
so what was the gift? a cd i burned, filled to the brim with our favorite love/slow songs. these were songs that we always happened to be listening to during our more intimate moments. songs that popped up on the radio, that we played on the jukebox at our favorite restaurant and others that each of us have personally enjoyed.
she loved it and if anything, it only increased her attraction.
-SLB
RogueWarrior
Don Juan
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I've had mixed experience with gifts. If you're not dating, more often than not, you don't get the reaction you're hoping for.
I'd say that you should have a sense as to how she feels about you. If she thinks of you as a friend, giving a gift will be pointless. You most likely won't get anything in return, gift or otherwise. If she's got potential, the right gift can make a difference.
Don't spend more than $100. Less will be more. Also, here's a way to show her that you pay attention and are aware. Think of something she might have mentioned months ago. Something that she might not buy for herself but might like to have.
Stay away from: Jewelry, Lingere, Stuffed Animals, Flowers. Food gifts are only well-received if the girl doesn't worry about her weight all the time. It's better to get something that doesn't have a distinct romantic connotation to it.
Also, wrap it yourself. Don't use a gift bag. Use real wrapping paper and do it yourself. She'll be impressed. And no mushy cards either.
Giving a gift can also give you a hint as to whether or not she's got potential. Here are two extremes: I gave a girl a Christmas gift. She made a donation in my name to a charity. Nnnnkaaaay.... The other extreme: I gave a girl something for Christmas that she mentioned months before. She was impressed that A) I remembered and B) that I wrapped it myself. This resulted in out first PDA. After I returned from holiday vacation, she gave me a belated gift.
Finally, don't have any expectations. She's not expecting a gift so you shouldn't expect anything in return.
I'd say that you should have a sense as to how she feels about you. If she thinks of you as a friend, giving a gift will be pointless. You most likely won't get anything in return, gift or otherwise. If she's got potential, the right gift can make a difference.
Don't spend more than $100. Less will be more. Also, here's a way to show her that you pay attention and are aware. Think of something she might have mentioned months ago. Something that she might not buy for herself but might like to have.
Stay away from: Jewelry, Lingere, Stuffed Animals, Flowers. Food gifts are only well-received if the girl doesn't worry about her weight all the time. It's better to get something that doesn't have a distinct romantic connotation to it.
Also, wrap it yourself. Don't use a gift bag. Use real wrapping paper and do it yourself. She'll be impressed. And no mushy cards either.
Giving a gift can also give you a hint as to whether or not she's got potential. Here are two extremes: I gave a girl a Christmas gift. She made a donation in my name to a charity. Nnnnkaaaay.... The other extreme: I gave a girl something for Christmas that she mentioned months before. She was impressed that A) I remembered and B) that I wrapped it myself. This resulted in out first PDA. After I returned from holiday vacation, she gave me a belated gift.
Finally, don't have any expectations. She's not expecting a gift so you shouldn't expect anything in return.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.