okay so my girlfriend is 18 (im 22) and graduating hs next week. There are parties all summer long from her classmates and so she was asking if she could go ( i have some trust issues due to past gf cheating on me). Never did she mention bringing me or inviting me to any of these parties everything was CAN I DO THIS CAN I DO THAT. So i broke up with her saying, "theres a reason ur not inviting me to these parties, instead of inviting myself im just going to break up with u." Her reason for not inviting me was that "i didnt think youd want to go hangout with a bunch of 18 yo's" but ive hung out with her friends many times so it makes no sense. IMO shes going to be doing things at these parties that I wouldnt approve of so she didnt invite me. Of course now she goes, Oh u can come to all of them. I said ya now ur gonna say that that i broke up with u over it.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
gf going to parties
- Thread starter dice
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
holy shvt dude, give her some space. Do you always put your girl on lockdown?
May I suggest that you should break up after there is a problem and not look at the worse case scenerio in the future before it actually happened?
Does she really need to go to a party to cheat? Because if she wanted too she can hook up with anybody and pretty much anywhere.
Beside you are 22 and she is 18, why are you in LTR in the first place at your age is what is more troubeling.
Does she really need to go to a party to cheat? Because if she wanted too she can hook up with anybody and pretty much anywhere.
Beside you are 22 and she is 18, why are you in LTR in the first place at your age is what is more troubeling.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
1. my gf is older. she doesn't give a **** when i go to parties without her. if you don't trust her you have no relationship anyway.
2. you're 22. at 22, 'girlfriend' is not a serious or permanent thing. stop living on tv, nobody marries their college girlfriend except trailer trash and christians and we all know how that turns out.
2. you're 22. at 22, 'girlfriend' is not a serious or permanent thing. stop living on tv, nobody marries their college girlfriend except trailer trash and christians and we all know how that turns out.
Master Bates
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2007
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Wow, the sosuave retarded generalizations just never cease.
And somehow flaming over that justifies that you're not one of them?Master Bates said:
Btw, to the OP, do whatever you think you should do. If you have trust issues then it's your right to not allow her to go to parties, afterall she's your property. Otherwise chill out and let her do whatever she wishes, afterall if you believe that you have a good relationship (high attraction) then there's no reason why the girls should cheat in the first place.
On the other hand, high school girls + party + booze = easy prey. They are simply too naive to believe you if you told them that, and it may backfire. Just have faith.
Remulak
Senior Don Juan
That's a pretty bad generalization, if one is in college chances are they're not trailer trash. Trailer trash and college are like oil and water they don't mix!mintxx said:
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
I was going to say why are you dating a girl 4 years your junior... but she might be pretty hot so I will not touch that one.
But hot or not, I couldn't do it. you have nothing in common. I will be 24 in exaclty 1 month... I couldn't touch a girl that's not at least my age. I barely talk to girls that ARE my age, perferring girls...women, a little older.
you are asking a question that you know the answer to. YES you know what she is trying to accomplish.
There are a group of guys out there who prey on younger women mainily because they are't mature enough to date girls their own age. I dated a girl whoose previous BF was 8 years older than her, and they started dating when she was 17. when I met him he was 31 and was as mature as a Jr high kid
But hot or not, I couldn't do it. you have nothing in common. I will be 24 in exaclty 1 month... I couldn't touch a girl that's not at least my age. I barely talk to girls that ARE my age, perferring girls...women, a little older.
you are asking a question that you know the answer to. YES you know what she is trying to accomplish.
There are a group of guys out there who prey on younger women mainily because they are't mature enough to date girls their own age. I dated a girl whoose previous BF was 8 years older than her, and they started dating when she was 17. when I met him he was 31 and was as mature as a Jr high kid
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
Dude, you are 22! go out. go to CLUBS. meet women who can actually drink legally. that's what you can do. it's at least a startdice said:
how do you even MEET a girl 4 years younger than you?
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
If you can't handle the lifestyle of 18 year olds, don't date them.
backbreaker said:
I was 23 and saw a 17 year old in college. I was taking the long term plan and she finished high school early.
We met through mutual friends swimming in the river one day. She persued me. She cooked for me. She packed my lunch. She was mostly untainted by feminism and other western bullsh1t at this point. We had lots and lots of sex. The age of consent is 16 in my home state. Shrug. There were no problems always caused by the damn girlfriend drinking and acting retarded because she only drank when with me. Both of her parents were ministers and she loved Jesus but I looked past these flaws.
All the 21 and 22 year olds just want to go to the bar every day. I swear every girl I meet nowadays tells me the story how they used to go to the same bar at least 4 nights a week when they were 21 and 22.
Am I not cool?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
although gravity doesn't help women of older age, I'm not going around ****ing grandma's or anything. But my personality doesn't bide well for women my age. I don't have the time nor the patience to deal with the issues 8 out of 10 people here put up with. I like casual sex, at least now. As little strings attached. Someone I can go out with from time to time and not be bothered about "what I have been doing, why don't you call me, etc". I made that mistake with my last relationship (who ironically was 4 years older than me).. too immature. my job requires me to spend lots and lots of time alone. To be able to concentrate. I work at odd times.. I got up at 2 this morning. I lost so much money because of the arguements me and my ex used to get into, the emotional tool she had on me.. I cared for her, but I cared about myself more so I had to let her go
Now, I'm not dumb, if I can find someone my age with a little maturity, I'm in.. but it's hard and I'm not necessary turning over rocks and stones looking for them either.
The great thing about a guy is I can recycle. Right now I have a "working" relationship with a 30 year old. I doubt it lasts very long because of hte sheer nature of the relationsihp, but the second I can look at her and not see what i see now (which is extremely nice), I can replace her with someone else. I'm not looking for marriage.
Now, I'm not dumb, if I can find someone my age with a little maturity, I'm in.. but it's hard and I'm not necessary turning over rocks and stones looking for them either.
The great thing about a guy is I can recycle. Right now I have a "working" relationship with a 30 year old. I doubt it lasts very long because of hte sheer nature of the relationsihp, but the second I can look at her and not see what i see now (which is extremely nice), I can replace her with someone else. I'm not looking for marriage.
dice said:
Congratulations.
You broke up with your new girlfriend because your old girlfriend cheated on you. You dumped her because you think "since my ex cheated, this one probably does too." You have to get past your trust issues or you're going to break up with every girl that doesn't agree to jamming your head up her ass.
If a girl is going to cheat, she's going to cheat. She can tell you she's going to church and could romp her ex-boyfriend every Sunday. You just don't know. Work out your internal issues and start trusting people.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Hey, I just realized that women are typically the ones that do this.xblitz44x said:
giovannikast
Don Juan
gf
Hi
Budy
I think it is time to look for another hb, just tell her that she is an adult and doesnt ask you if she could go or not. Well, I think you should take her to an another level, no more your gf, just **** her whenever you want, but you shouldnt consider her your gf anymore, dont make problem yourself, just go with another girls.
Giovanni
Hi
Budy
I think it is time to look for another hb, just tell her that she is an adult and doesnt ask you if she could go or not. Well, I think you should take her to an another level, no more your gf, just **** her whenever you want, but you shouldnt consider her your gf anymore, dont make problem yourself, just go with another girls.
Giovanni
Fenderules
Master Don Juan
i dont even see the point of going to a bar all the time. its really not appealling.....i mean i could go there and women have tried to pick me up... i dunno im just not as man hoar haha. I feel dirty getting it on with these women
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.