"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
GF Broke up with me
- Thread starter HBK
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Well Guys, after 3 and half weeks of no contact the Ex text me this evening out of the blue.
Here it is
"Hi there!, How are ya? Im sorry i havent been in touch, meant to text before this.ill have that money on thurs for ya, that ok? how have you been?"
My Reply an hour later
"Hey XXX, Yeah in great form, cant complain. No Hassle, sure give it to xxx and he can pass it on"
Her reply "yep will do no bother"
She owed me some cash which i loaned to her when we were going out, my mates shares house with her.
Do you think that was ok, i think so??
Out of the blue today she text me again asking "Hi, Sorry for boterin ya,was just wondering if you were free to drop down later?"
I think she is freaking out that i havent contacted her, text her when i was drunk, acted AFC and begged for her not to go.
So you think i should reply?
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
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NO not yet she is testing to see how fast you will jump to her call.HBK said:
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
I agree with Don..., wait it out.DonGorgon said:
DonGorgon
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I say there is a 80% chance he will contact her or answer her callWarrior74 said:
PectoralisMajor
Senior Don Juan
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you did the right thing with your text - acting casual and not jumping up and down to her call. The minute she knows you have other girls on the cards she will be JEALOUS.
are you going to meet her on your terms once you have some time free up in the future? meet up and sus her out. go grab a quick coffee and after half an hour say, well it was lovely seeing you, but I have to go meet a friend at x o'clock. maybe we can do this again sometime when we're both free.
main objective - b@ng her, whilst seeing other chicks.
I thought it would be one of two things, one i hope that we can be friends and i dont want things to be awkward, or two i miss you and i want to get back with you..
Turns out she wants to to give it a second try. Im sorry, I miss you, I regret what i did, are you seeing anyone? hope you can forgive me! etc...Bascially she told me she was going through some hard times because it was her moms anniversary at the time and her new job was stressing her out. She asked me do i still care about her, and i said i dont know. I countered with the fact i was her BF and if she had problems, or wanted space she should have talked to me rather then push me away...I asked her what would stop her from breaking up in a month times again, she had no reply only "i wouldnt, i realised what i lost"..Long story short i told her id think about it. I was cool, polite and just listened to what she had to say and left. No Kiss, no hug just left. She seemed Sincere and Genuine, but i left her with the feeling that i wasnt going to be made a fool of or going to put up with any nonsense.
Well there you go lads, Shoot me down
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
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My last prediction was right, so i say there is a 75% chance you get back with her...LOLHBK said:Well Guys, i did meet her as i wanted to hear what she had to say for herself.
I thought it would be one of two things, one i hope that we can be friends and i dont want things to be awkward, or two i miss you and i want to get back with you..
Turns out she wants to to give it a second try. Im sorry, I miss you, I regret what i did, are you seeing anyone? hope you can forgive me! etc...Bascially she told me she was going through some hard times because it was her moms anniversary at the time and her new job was stressing her out. She asked me do i still care about her, and i said i dont know. I countered with the fact i was her BF and if she had problems, or wanted space she should have talked to me rather then push me away...I asked her what would stop her from breaking up in a month times again, she had no reply only "i wouldnt, i realised what i lost"..Long story short i told her id think about it. I was cool, polite and just listened to what she had to say and left. No Kiss, no hug just left. She seemed Sincere and Genuine, but i left her with the feeling that i wasnt going to be made a fool of or going to put up with any nonsense.
Well there you go lads, Shoot me down