I've been doing a lot of cold approaches in the past few weeks. I was chatting with a girl and setting up a date when she suddenly told me that a friend told her I was doing this a lot. She said this was a bit too much for her and now I don't really know what to do. Any advice?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Getting recognized on the street
- Thread starter Spright
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
backseatjuan
Banned
Double standard. As if she don't get approached on the street. She didn't like you and it was her way of shooting you down. Try raising your standards, if you approaching 6s, go for 7s and 8s.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
Ask her, "What do you mean too much?" She will probably give you some B.S. excuse. But you let her know overall you don't know her yet and that's why you are going on a date just as im sure shes doing with other Men or at the very least entertaining conversations with other guys to set up dates with them. If she doesnt like it, She's out.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
Also, This may be an indication that she's not THAT into you. I have been seen with other Women at bars, lounges or on the street by other Women I was seeing and they STILL wanted to see me, In some rare cases I even had to introduce them to one another. On a small scale I have had Women argue over me and I would still get with them. I got away with all of this because their interest in me was sky high.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
2Rocky
Master Don Juan
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1) You are over saturating an area with your spam approach. Women don't feel you are sincere.
2) Work on social circle approaches if you are in a limited circles. Build more comfort.
3) Be more discerning in who you approach. Take good shots. 2/3 is better than 2/10 both in basketball and meeting women
4) Dissatisfied customers do your reputations more harm than satisfied ones. The same is true for women.
5) If you are trying to get over approach anxiety, then strike up conversations with men. Same principles..
2) Work on social circle approaches if you are in a limited circles. Build more comfort.
3) Be more discerning in who you approach. Take good shots. 2/3 is better than 2/10 both in basketball and meeting women
4) Dissatisfied customers do your reputations more harm than satisfied ones. The same is true for women.
5) If you are trying to get over approach anxiety, then strike up conversations with men. Same principles..
I totally agree with you. I googled "spam approaching", read through this article and reconsidered my way of approaching girls. I usually run up in front of the girl / tap her on the shoulder and tell her that she looks really nice or friendly. Obviously I only say that when I mean it, but always using the same opener with the same approach is rather uninspired... So I guess the lesson here is to
1) try to make sure she is giving me IOI, maybe force eye contact by saying Hi first and only approach if she seems interested, and
2) use more situational openers rather than saying the same thing over and over again
But I'm still unsure about 2), because saying "I just had to come and say that you look really nice" feels really natural to say when it's the truth. If I see a cute girl walking down the street doing nothing unusual I can't for the life of me think of something special/funny to comment on. And it would seem even more insincere if I complimented her on something I don't really care about.