I've been doing a lot of cold approaches in the past few weeks. I was chatting with a girl and setting up a date when she suddenly told me that a friend told her I was doing this a lot. She said this was a bit too much for her and now I don't really know what to do. Any advice?
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Getting recognized on the street
- Thread starter Spright
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
backseatjuan
Banned
Double standard. As if she don't get approached on the street. She didn't like you and it was her way of shooting you down. Try raising your standards, if you approaching 6s, go for 7s and 8s.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
Ask her, "What do you mean too much?" She will probably give you some B.S. excuse. But you let her know overall you don't know her yet and that's why you are going on a date just as im sure shes doing with other Men or at the very least entertaining conversations with other guys to set up dates with them. If she doesnt like it, She's out.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
Also, This may be an indication that she's not THAT into you. I have been seen with other Women at bars, lounges or on the street by other Women I was seeing and they STILL wanted to see me, In some rare cases I even had to introduce them to one another. On a small scale I have had Women argue over me and I would still get with them. I got away with all of this because their interest in me was sky high.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
2Rocky
Master Don Juan
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1) You are over saturating an area with your spam approach. Women don't feel you are sincere.
2) Work on social circle approaches if you are in a limited circles. Build more comfort.
3) Be more discerning in who you approach. Take good shots. 2/3 is better than 2/10 both in basketball and meeting women
4) Dissatisfied customers do your reputations more harm than satisfied ones. The same is true for women.
5) If you are trying to get over approach anxiety, then strike up conversations with men. Same principles..
2) Work on social circle approaches if you are in a limited circles. Build more comfort.
3) Be more discerning in who you approach. Take good shots. 2/3 is better than 2/10 both in basketball and meeting women
4) Dissatisfied customers do your reputations more harm than satisfied ones. The same is true for women.
5) If you are trying to get over approach anxiety, then strike up conversations with men. Same principles..
I totally agree with you. I googled "spam approaching", read through this article and reconsidered my way of approaching girls. I usually run up in front of the girl / tap her on the shoulder and tell her that she looks really nice or friendly. Obviously I only say that when I mean it, but always using the same opener with the same approach is rather uninspired... So I guess the lesson here is to
1) try to make sure she is giving me IOI, maybe force eye contact by saying Hi first and only approach if she seems interested, and
2) use more situational openers rather than saying the same thing over and over again
But I'm still unsure about 2), because saying "I just had to come and say that you look really nice" feels really natural to say when it's the truth. If I see a cute girl walking down the street doing nothing unusual I can't for the life of me think of something special/funny to comment on. And it would seem even more insincere if I complimented her on something I don't really care about.