I've been doing a lot of cold approaches in the past few weeks. I was chatting with a girl and setting up a date when she suddenly told me that a friend told her I was doing this a lot. She said this was a bit too much for her and now I don't really know what to do. Any advice?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Getting recognized on the street
- Thread starter Spright
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
backseatjuan
Banned
Double standard. As if she don't get approached on the street. She didn't like you and it was her way of shooting you down. Try raising your standards, if you approaching 6s, go for 7s and 8s.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
Ask her, "What do you mean too much?" She will probably give you some B.S. excuse. But you let her know overall you don't know her yet and that's why you are going on a date just as im sure shes doing with other Men or at the very least entertaining conversations with other guys to set up dates with them. If she doesnt like it, She's out.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
Also, This may be an indication that she's not THAT into you. I have been seen with other Women at bars, lounges or on the street by other Women I was seeing and they STILL wanted to see me, In some rare cases I even had to introduce them to one another. On a small scale I have had Women argue over me and I would still get with them. I got away with all of this because their interest in me was sky high.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
2Rocky
Master Don Juan
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1) You are over saturating an area with your spam approach. Women don't feel you are sincere.
2) Work on social circle approaches if you are in a limited circles. Build more comfort.
3) Be more discerning in who you approach. Take good shots. 2/3 is better than 2/10 both in basketball and meeting women
4) Dissatisfied customers do your reputations more harm than satisfied ones. The same is true for women.
5) If you are trying to get over approach anxiety, then strike up conversations with men. Same principles..
2) Work on social circle approaches if you are in a limited circles. Build more comfort.
3) Be more discerning in who you approach. Take good shots. 2/3 is better than 2/10 both in basketball and meeting women
4) Dissatisfied customers do your reputations more harm than satisfied ones. The same is true for women.
5) If you are trying to get over approach anxiety, then strike up conversations with men. Same principles..
I totally agree with you. I googled "spam approaching", read through this article and reconsidered my way of approaching girls. I usually run up in front of the girl / tap her on the shoulder and tell her that she looks really nice or friendly. Obviously I only say that when I mean it, but always using the same opener with the same approach is rather uninspired... So I guess the lesson here is to
1) try to make sure she is giving me IOI, maybe force eye contact by saying Hi first and only approach if she seems interested, and
2) use more situational openers rather than saying the same thing over and over again
But I'm still unsure about 2), because saying "I just had to come and say that you look really nice" feels really natural to say when it's the truth. If I see a cute girl walking down the street doing nothing unusual I can't for the life of me think of something special/funny to comment on. And it would seem even more insincere if I complimented her on something I don't really care about.