"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Funny T-Shirts

Keeper

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Hmm... just curious. Are these a good idea to have? I've got lots of plain, but nice, designer t-shirts. Wondering if I should print out some freaky labels and iron 'em on.

I've seen plenty of examples out there: here are a few:

http://www.exbyte.net/viewpic.php?id=1354

http://codebetter.com/blogs/images/codebetter_com/darrell.norton/4/o_tshirt.jpg

http://www.doseuk.com/Images/lesbians.gif

http://www.teesnthings.com/ProductImages/funny-t-shirts/sex-t-shirts/sex-offender.jpg

I'm sure you get the idea.

Don't normally wear clothes that attract attention... maybe it wouldn't be too bad of an idea if I did? Hmm...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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three57

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I wouldn't wear any of those. Imagine the look on the girls face when you explain the open source one. . .
 

Keeper

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Hmm... Yeah, it'll be quite annoying having to explain your tshirt to every person you chat to. :p
 

G-Man UK

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How about going out in a t-shirt with 'i'd fcuk me' on it.

Sorry Shezzler I just had to post this LOL


:crackup:

G-man
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Keeper

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Mmm... check flea markets. Flea markets are what we call China Town, I guess. :)

Otherwise just print your own. Other than that I have no idea where else in the States to get 'em.
 

Life-Trainee

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I used to wear a black shirt that read "FSCK"... but most of these statement shirts are just soo juvenile.
 

cactus3178

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www.tshirthell.com

Best ever.


Check out the 'Worse than hell' section if you've got a sense of humor and don't get easily offended.
 

MrNiceGuy

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I got a t-shirt made up that simply says

"Why are all the pretty ones insane?"

across the front.. So far its led to a few ugly girls approaching me or commenting on it as they pass, and other people obviously noticing it and pointing at me.. only worn it once or twice so far tho
 

RoeCyris

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my only advice on so called "funny" shirts is this: Don't wear them expecting people to comment on them.

Wear them because the color works or because it makes you laugh but don't wear it as a conversation starter (i.e. "hey, like my shirt?"). Best advice I can offer is get shirts with designs on them too. Shirts with just words are getting a lil old and played out.


but that t-shirt hell is funny as balls.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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GirlCrazy

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My brother has a t-shirt that says:

"I put out on the first date"
 

racerX

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My favorite t-shirt quote is "IF ITS GOT TITS OR WHEELS, ITS GONNA GIVE YOU PROBLEMS"......the guy wearing was working on a car at a car show too!....classic.
 

penkitten

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how many "i dont trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesnt die"
i always thought that one was hilarious
 

diablo

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Since this thread seems to be "name a funny t-shirt", it's off to AE instead of being closed... :rolleyes:
 
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