"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Funny opening line I can use all the time use line
- Thread starter Crissco
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Proselytiser
Senior Don Juan
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Proselytiser
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
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Her "Huh?"
You "You must be tired, you've been running through my dreams all night.... screaming"
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Forty0ztoFreedom
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BeyondCharm
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"Heyyyyy! I posted on a website asking random guys what the best opening line would be to talk to a hot girl and come off sounding funny and cool, but everyone gave me lame answers so i'm using my plight as my opener, how's it working so far?" - followed by a ****y grin...
Sometimes the truth can be the funniest haha.
Mr.Freestyler19
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love this one got to try it tomorrowAllurre said:
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Mr.Freestyler19
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Proselytiser
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Mistic
Senior Don Juan
Here's a clue. Find something relative to the moment that you can point out, and make it seem funny from your unique perspective, like a comedian does. Canned stuff usually comes off weak because it's not real. All you guys looking for short cuts and magic bullets are going the wrong direction.
It's like the comic who says, " you'll never believe what happened on my drive to the show tonight . . . "
It's bullsh!t. Nothing happened. He thought that sh!t up months ago, and pretends it just happened. But everyone knows its bs, just part of his routine. A real comedian like Cris Rock for example never makes up bs to get a laugh. He gives you his unique perspective on life, which is funny, and real. See the difference?
You cant be funny unless your witty. And wit is never scripted.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Proselytiser
Senior Don Juan
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If you don't think that bl0wjob line is funny, you're boring, lucky for you there are plenty of boring girls out thereMistic said:
Mistic
Senior Don Juan
Of course it's funny. But what % of girls do you think this would work onProselytiser said:If you don't think that bl0wjob line is funny, you're boring, lucky for you there are plenty of boring girls out there
Again, if your not a funny person, nothing like this is going to work for you. Here's the problem with trying to be funny with canned stuff. You run out of funny real quick. Then what, you go on talking about stuff that isn't funny. Why open with something funny if you are not going to keep them laughing?
If ur not fuuny, dont try to be. I you are, you can do better than stupid jokes like this.
Try to process this: People who arent funny tell jokes. People who are funny, create fun in the moment. This is what women like. Telling jokes to get women to laugh is a looser approach, and makes you look lame.
I am a stand up comedian btw, and I specialize in making women laugh, which is why I am successful. I know the "appropriate" funny things to say in a given situation, and it is always improv.
Say you get them to laugh, and you actually get in with the set, or the girl, then, because
Proselytiser
Senior Don Juan
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It's still funny, and there's no line out there that will directly result in you getting laid, it's just a quick way to start a conversation.Mistic said:Of course it's funny. But what % of girls do you think this would work on
Here's the problem with trying to be funny with canned stuff. You run out of funny real quick. Then what, you go on talking about stuff that isn't funny. Why open with something funny if you are not going to keep them laughing?
If ur not fuuny, dont try to be. I you are, you can do better than stupid jokes like this.
Try to process this: People who arent funny tell jokes. People who are funny, create fun in the moment. This is what women like. Telling jokes to get women to laugh is a looser approach, and makes you look lame.
I am a stand up comedian btw, and I specialize in making women laugh, which is why I am successful. I know the "appropriate" funny things to say in a given situation, and it is always improv.
Say you get them to laugh, and you actually get in with the set, or the girl, then, because
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.