Funny opening line I can use all the time use line

[Crissco]

Im looking for a funny opening line I can use most if not all of the time after I introduce my self.

Ex - Hi im Crissco ....

 

[Proselytiser]

I'm obligated to tell you that I'm a registered sex offender before we go any further. Now. What's up?

 

[Crissco]

I'm obligated to tell you that I'm a registered sex offender before we go any further. Now. What's up?

LOL I tired that last week. Sad to say that didnt go to well

 

[Proselytiser]

You "Are you tired?"

Her "Huh?"

You "You must be tired, you've been running through my dreams all night.... screaming"

 

[Crissco]

You "Are you tired?"

Her "Huh?"

You "You must be tired, you've been running through my dreams all night.... screaming"

LOL. Thats so corny bro. Nice try anyway

 

[Allurre]

Hey... you forgot something.

Her: "What?"

You: "To say hi."

 

[Crissco]

Hey... you forgot something.

Her: "What?"

You: "To say hi."

LOL I like that one, good **** bro. :rockon:

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

What usually opens good for me is a slightly confused "Hey!" like its a friend you haven't seen in a while.

 

[BeyondCharm]

How about this one:

"Heyyyyy! I posted on a website asking random guys what the best opening line would be to talk to a hot girl and come off sounding funny and cool, but everyone gave me lame answers so i'm using my plight as my opener, how's it working so far?" - followed by a ****y grin...

Sometimes the truth can be the funniest haha.

 

[Mr.Freestyler19]

Hey... you forgot something.

Her: "What?"

You: "To say hi."

love this one got to try it tomorrow

 

[Crissco]

love this one got to try it tomorrow

Tell me how it goes.

What if she says hi when after I introduce my self?

 

[Mr.Freestyler19]

after i am going to introduce myself and build from there

 

[Crissco]

after i am going to introduce myself and build from there

Not bad

Hey, do you give bl0owjobs to strangers? No? Well then let me introduce myself.

Ha Ha. I love it

 

[Proselytiser]

I'll report back with results for the ******* line on Monday

 

[Mistic]

If ur not funny, what makes you think a line is going to make you funny? If u r funny, you dont need a line.

Here's a clue. Find something relative to the moment that you can point out, and make it seem funny from your unique perspective, like a comedian does. Canned stuff usually comes off weak because it's not real. All you guys looking for short cuts and magic bullets are going the wrong direction.

It's like the comic who says, " you'll never believe what happened on my drive to the show tonight . . . "

It's bullsh!t. Nothing happened. He thought that sh!t up months ago, and pretends it just happened. But everyone knows its bs, just part of his routine. A real comedian like Cris Rock for example never makes up bs to get a laugh. He gives you his unique perspective on life, which is funny, and real. See the difference?

You cant be funny unless your witty. And wit is never scripted.

 

[Proselytiser]

If ur not funny, what makes you think a line is going to make you funny? If u r funny, you dont need a line.

Here's a clue. Find something relative to the moment that you can point out, and make it seem funny from your unique perspective, like a comedian does. Canned stuff usually comes off weak because it's not real. All you guys looking for short cuts and magic bullets are going the wrong direction.

It's like the comic who says, " you'll never believe what happened on my drive to the show tonight . . . "

It's bullsh!t. Nothing happened. He thought that sh!t up months ago, and pretends it just happened. But everyone knows its bs, just part of his routine. A real comedian like Cris Rock for example never makes up bs to get a laugh. He gives you his unique perspective on life, which is funny, and real. See the difference?

You cant be funny unless your witty. And wit is never scripted.

If you don't think that bl0wjob line is funny, you're boring, lucky for you there are plenty of boring girls out there

 

[Mistic]

If you don't think that bl0wjob line is funny, you're boring, lucky for you there are plenty of boring girls out there

Of course it's funny. But what % of girls do you think this would work on Again, if your not a funny person, nothing like this is going to work for you.

Here's the problem with trying to be funny with canned stuff. You run out of funny real quick. Then what, you go on talking about stuff that isn't funny. Why open with something funny if you are not going to keep them laughing?

If ur not fuuny, dont try to be. I you are, you can do better than stupid jokes like this.

Try to process this: People who arent funny tell jokes. People who are funny, create fun in the moment. This is what women like. Telling jokes to get women to laugh is a looser approach, and makes you look lame.

I am a stand up comedian btw, and I specialize in making women laugh, which is why I am successful. I know the "appropriate" funny things to say in a given situation, and it is always improv.



Say you get them to laugh, and you actually get in with the set, or the girl, then, because

 

[Crissco]

If ur not funny, what makes you think a line is going to make you funny? If u r funny, you dont need a line.

Here's a clue. Find something relative to the moment that you can point out, and make it seem funny from your unique perspective, like a comedian does. Canned stuff usually comes off weak because it's not real. All you guys looking for short cuts and magic bullets are going the wrong direction.

It's like the comic who says, " you'll never believe what happened on my drive to the show tonight . . . "

It's bullsh!t. Nothing happened. He thought that sh!t up months ago, and pretends it just happened. But everyone knows its bs, just part of his routine. A real comedian like Cris Rock for example never makes up bs to get a laugh. He gives you his unique perspective on life, which is funny, and real. See the difference?

You cant be funny unless your witty. And wit is never scripted.

Good answer. Thanks

 

[Proselytiser]

Of course it's funny. But what % of girls do you think this would work on Again, if your not a funny person, nothing like this is going to work for you.

Here's the problem with trying to be funny with canned stuff. You run out of funny real quick. Then what, you go on talking about stuff that isn't funny. Why open with something funny if you are not going to keep them laughing?

If ur not fuuny, dont try to be. I you are, you can do better than stupid jokes like this.

Try to process this: People who arent funny tell jokes. People who are funny, create fun in the moment. This is what women like. Telling jokes to get women to laugh is a looser approach, and makes you look lame.

I am a stand up comedian btw, and I specialize in making women laugh, which is why I am successful. I know the "appropriate" funny things to say in a given situation, and it is always improv.



Say you get them to laugh, and you actually get in with the set, or the girl, then, because

It's still funny, and there's no line out there that will directly result in you getting laid, it's just a quick way to start a conversation.

 

[ATP]

"I think darth vader just stole my beer"