"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Funny opening line I can use all the time use line

C

Crissco

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Im looking for a funny opening line I can use most if not all of the time after I introduce my self.

Ex - Hi im Crissco ....
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Crissco

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Proselytiser said:
I'm obligated to tell you that I'm a registered sex offender before we go any further. Now. What's up?
Click to expand...
LOL I tired that last week. Sad to say that didnt go to well :eek:
 
C

Crissco

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Proselytiser said:
You "Are you tired?"

Her "Huh?"

You "You must be tired, you've been running through my dreams all night.... screaming"
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LOL. Thats so corny bro. Nice try anyway
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Forty0ztoFreedom

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What usually opens good for me is a slightly confused "Hey!" like its a friend you haven't seen in a while.
 
B

BeyondCharm

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How about this one:

"Heyyyyy! I posted on a website asking random guys what the best opening line would be to talk to a hot girl and come off sounding funny and cool, but everyone gave me lame answers so i'm using my plight as my opener, how's it working so far?" - followed by a ****y grin...

Sometimes the truth can be the funniest haha.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Crissco

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Mr.Freestyler19 said:
love this one got to try it tomorrow
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Tell me how it goes.

What if she says hi when after I introduce my self?
 
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Crissco

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Mr.Freestyler19 said:
after i am going to introduce myself and build from there
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Not bad


San Jose California said:
Hey, do you give bl0owjobs to strangers? No? Well then let me introduce myself.
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Ha Ha. I love it
 
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Mistic

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If ur not funny, what makes you think a line is going to make you funny? If u r funny, you dont need a line.

Here's a clue. Find something relative to the moment that you can point out, and make it seem funny from your unique perspective, like a comedian does. Canned stuff usually comes off weak because it's not real. All you guys looking for short cuts and magic bullets are going the wrong direction.

It's like the comic who says, " you'll never believe what happened on my drive to the show tonight . . . "

It's bullsh!t. Nothing happened. He thought that sh!t up months ago, and pretends it just happened. But everyone knows its bs, just part of his routine. A real comedian like Cris Rock for example never makes up bs to get a laugh. He gives you his unique perspective on life, which is funny, and real. See the difference?

You cant be funny unless your witty. And wit is never scripted.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

P

Proselytiser

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It's all right........ if u have a good time!
Mistic said:
If ur not funny, what makes you think a line is going to make you funny? If u r funny, you dont need a line.

Here's a clue. Find something relative to the moment that you can point out, and make it seem funny from your unique perspective, like a comedian does. Canned stuff usually comes off weak because it's not real. All you guys looking for short cuts and magic bullets are going the wrong direction.

It's like the comic who says, " you'll never believe what happened on my drive to the show tonight . . . "

It's bullsh!t. Nothing happened. He thought that sh!t up months ago, and pretends it just happened. But everyone knows its bs, just part of his routine. A real comedian like Cris Rock for example never makes up bs to get a laugh. He gives you his unique perspective on life, which is funny, and real. See the difference?

You cant be funny unless your witty. And wit is never scripted.
Click to expand...
If you don't think that bl0wjob line is funny, you're boring, lucky for you there are plenty of boring girls out there :up:
 
M

Mistic

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Proselytiser said:
If you don't think that bl0wjob line is funny, you're boring, lucky for you there are plenty of boring girls out there :up:
Click to expand...
Of course it's funny. But what % of girls do you think this would work on:confused: Again, if your not a funny person, nothing like this is going to work for you.

Here's the problem with trying to be funny with canned stuff. You run out of funny real quick. Then what, you go on talking about stuff that isn't funny. Why open with something funny if you are not going to keep them laughing?

If ur not fuuny, dont try to be. I you are, you can do better than stupid jokes like this.

Try to process this: People who arent funny tell jokes. People who are funny, create fun in the moment. This is what women like. Telling jokes to get women to laugh is a looser approach, and makes you look lame.

I am a stand up comedian btw, and I specialize in making women laugh, which is why I am successful. I know the "appropriate" funny things to say in a given situation, and it is always improv.



Say you get them to laugh, and you actually get in with the set, or the girl, then, because
 
C

Crissco

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Mistic said:
If ur not funny, what makes you think a line is going to make you funny? If u r funny, you dont need a line.

Here's a clue. Find something relative to the moment that you can point out, and make it seem funny from your unique perspective, like a comedian does. Canned stuff usually comes off weak because it's not real. All you guys looking for short cuts and magic bullets are going the wrong direction.

It's like the comic who says, " you'll never believe what happened on my drive to the show tonight . . . "

It's bullsh!t. Nothing happened. He thought that sh!t up months ago, and pretends it just happened. But everyone knows its bs, just part of his routine. A real comedian like Cris Rock for example never makes up bs to get a laugh. He gives you his unique perspective on life, which is funny, and real. See the difference?

You cant be funny unless your witty. And wit is never scripted.
Click to expand...
Good answer. Thanks :)
 
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Proselytiser

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Mistic said:
Of course it's funny. But what % of girls do you think this would work on:confused: Again, if your not a funny person, nothing like this is going to work for you.

Here's the problem with trying to be funny with canned stuff. You run out of funny real quick. Then what, you go on talking about stuff that isn't funny. Why open with something funny if you are not going to keep them laughing?

If ur not fuuny, dont try to be. I you are, you can do better than stupid jokes like this.

Try to process this: People who arent funny tell jokes. People who are funny, create fun in the moment. This is what women like. Telling jokes to get women to laugh is a looser approach, and makes you look lame.

I am a stand up comedian btw, and I specialize in making women laugh, which is why I am successful. I know the "appropriate" funny things to say in a given situation, and it is always improv.



Say you get them to laugh, and you actually get in with the set, or the girl, then, because
Click to expand...
It's still funny, and there's no line out there that will directly result in you getting laid, it's just a quick way to start a conversation.
 
A

ATP

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"I think darth vader just stole my beer"
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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