"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Funny Halloween costume ideas?

cordoncordon

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My gf and I are going on a Halloween Booze Cruize party in Long Beach this Saturday and we are wanting to go as something funny and/or sexy. She is pretty hot, I'm not bad myself, so we are open to pretty much anything. Any of you guys have any good ideas? Would much appreciate it. Last year in Vegas she went as a Catholic School girl and I was a priest haha. The costumes don't absolutely have to go together, though it would be nice.

Post any of your ideas or what you are wearing as well.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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5string

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cordon....just take your clothes off. That would be the funniest Halloween costume I can think of. You'll have people laughing and pointing at you all night! hehe
 

Alle_Gory

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Steve jobs. For a prop you can use a cow's liver... maybe a calf. It's about the size and shape of a human liver.
 

BarryMcKokiner

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If you two are in good shape and pretty hot like you say then go as Adam and Eve. Saw it once and was impressed. Sexy for sure. And some maple leaves make it a cheap costume.
 

Quiksilver

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1. Borat swimsuit

2. Spartan (think 300), even better if you are a little out of shape.

3. Male dancer (skintight clothing), go to a sex toy shop and buy a big thick long rubbery c0ck. Slip it down your skintight pants and orient it so it actually looks like yours. It should 'bleed through' your tight pants.

Women will be staring at you (and it) all night. You and your missus will be swatting them away all night.

If people ask what you are, tell them you're <insert famous dancer here>. Pretend the c0ck is not part of your costume, act like its yours.

4. Pull up a list of all past-present US Presidents. Pick the one that most looks like you. Dress suave, and alter your appearance to look as much like them as possible.

--

Some pretty creative ideas on the internet if you run a few Google searches.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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5string

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Wear your pink Looney Tunes man thong, construction boots and a cowboy hat. That'll do the trick.
 

Julius_Seizeher

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Go as Bernanke, spreading tp rolls of counterfeit paper money and the destruction of leftist economic dictatorship central banking.
 

PDubb75

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You should dress up as a dinner plate, she should dress normally.

Tell everyone your girl loves doing dishes.
 

Vice

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My Lt. Dangle costume from Reno 911 was always popular with the ladies.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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cordoncordon

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Tonight we are going as her...a yoga instructor, and me....Tony Horton from P 90 X.
 

ProDJ26

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5string said:
cordon....just take your clothes off. That would be the funniest Halloween costume I can think of. You'll have people laughing and pointing at you all night! hehe
And if they ask your Adam & Eve

;)
 

AAAgent

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i went as the red ranger from power rangers.

I had tons of people giving me high fives, calling me Jason, girls laughing at me, i would just randomly walk up to girls and start dancing with them and they couldn't stop giggling.

My friends were flash and skeeter from doug.
 
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