You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Thanks, glad I could help. And yeah, the possibilities are endless. The whole barnes and noble date idea of mine actually came about, last year, when I took a girl for coffee and then went to the bookstore to buy a book and remembered reading A Light in the Attic when I was kid. Went to look for it and just started reading out loud. The date went so well that now I use it pretty often, though I've added some things and refined the "process" a bit, haha.Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
D@mn, that's pretty good. The whole B&N thing I could work with. It'll be an easy way to tell if the girl is a prude or not. It's silly but it does actually works. Once a girl had me slow dancing with her in the aisles of the electronics section with all the boom boxes tuned to the same smooth jazz station. I had no idea what she was doing but it was some mad, silly fun![]()
I like the park/ice cream/pet store thing too. Again it has a bunch of chances for kino and it's inexpensive. Definitely memorable since it wasn't just dinner and a movie.
A very important point was to end up back at your place (especially if it's for dinner). Think about it, you start off in the grocery store with her pushing the cart following you around while you pretend to pick things to cook for dinner (of course you planned the menu in advance but she doesn't need to know that). She'll be dying to know what you're cooking for dinner but of course you don't tell her.![]()
You end up back at your place and you tell her that she's going to help you cook dinner. You instruct her in what to do, cut up stuff and measure things (not that thing!). There's another perfect place for a bunch of kino!
The ideas are just flowing!!! D@mn good idea Soma!!!
I love your counterargument. It's rock-solid, because there's no way to argue against it. I should learn from you, so when I disagree with someone, I'll just call him a 'dork' and not provide any reasons why. It's so effective, and so much easier than saying "you're wrong, and this is why..."Originally posted by TooColdUlrick
you're a dork. the reasons why you are wrong are just way too many to bother with.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
You just reminded me of the book I'll use "Where the Wild Things Are." I loved that book as a kid and it will be a really good one to act out on the stage. Kids will love it and who knows, maybe some cute single moms will be so enamored that they will slip me their phone numbers!Originally posted by Shadow Dancer
Thanks, glad I could help. And yeah, the possibilities are endless. The whole barnes and noble date idea of mine actually came about, last year, when I took a girl for coffee and then went to the bookstore to buy a book and remembered reading A Light in the Attic when I was kid. Went to look for it and just started reading out loud. The date went so well that now I use it pretty often, though I've added some things and refined the "process" a bit, haha.