"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
fun first date ideas
- Thread starter penkitten
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
ended up seeing another band and they were good ...
but i forget their name
the last song, the singer was singing he came out and grabbed me and took me to dance with him...ohlala i did for a minute then i turned around and my date was behind him and i danced with him.
Shadow Dancer
Senior Don Juan
Thanks, glad I could help. And yeah, the possibilities are endless. The whole barnes and noble date idea of mine actually came about, last year, when I took a girl for coffee and then went to the bookstore to buy a book and remembered reading A Light in the Attic when I was kid. Went to look for it and just started reading out loud. The date went so well that now I use it pretty often, though I've added some things and refined the "process" a bit, haha.Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
D@mn, that's pretty good. The whole B&N thing I could work with. It'll be an easy way to tell if the girl is a prude or not. It's silly but it does actually works. Once a girl had me slow dancing with her in the aisles of the electronics section with all the boom boxes tuned to the same smooth jazz station. I had no idea what she was doing but it was some mad, silly fun
I like the park/ice cream/pet store thing too. Again it has a bunch of chances for kino and it's inexpensive. Definitely memorable since it wasn't just dinner and a movie.
A very important point was to end up back at your place (especially if it's for dinner). Think about it, you start off in the grocery store with her pushing the cart following you around while you pretend to pick things to cook for dinner (of course you planned the menu in advance but she doesn't need to know that). She'll be dying to know what you're cooking for dinner but of course you don't tell her.
You end up back at your place and you tell her that she's going to help you cook dinner. You instruct her in what to do, cut up stuff and measure things (not that thing!). There's another perfect place for a bunch of kino!
The ideas are just flowing!!! D@mn good idea Soma!!!
The idea of having the girl meet you at your house first was something I got from David D a couple years back. It's gold.
But yeah, as long as you're enjoying each others company, it really doesn't matter what you do. Personally, I like to put interesting twists on things so it stands out from dates she's been on with other guys.
Funny bit...
I once met a girl and ended up LJBF'ing her cause she would make a better pivot, since we got along so well and I knew we could be awesome friends. Our first time out I did the barnes and nobles thing with her. That was about a year ago, and since then we've become great friends. To this day she believes, on her own accord, that she is the ONLY girl I ever had that type of date with. She is so PROUD of that fact, haha, and anytime we're out together and I meet a girl, my friend/pivot will always tell the story to the new girl with enthusiasm and get all happy and giggly. It's almost as if she's trying to make the new girl jealous. Anyway, it automatically makes the girl I'm talking to 10x more interested in me but fvck...that makes it so I can't take that new girl on the barnes and nobles thing. haha. Oh well!
Soma
Banned
I love your counterargument. It's rock-solid, because there's no way to argue against it. I should learn from you, so when I disagree with someone, I'll just call him a 'dork' and not provide any reasons why. It's so effective, and so much easier than saying "you're wrong, and this is why..."
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Soma
Banned
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
You just reminded me of the book I'll use "Where the Wild Things Are." I loved that book as a kid and it will be a really good one to act out on the stage. Kids will love it and who knows, maybe some cute single moms will be so enamored that they will slip me their phone numbers!
TinyFzzyKiwi
Don Juan
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anyway, i gotta say that the b&n idea sounds fun. Gonna have to try that 1 sometime, alrdy decided i havnt been miniture golfing in awhile though. so gotta try that first.