Fun 1st date, but no bang

CornbreadFed

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Thanks for your help, guys.

I went on a second date with her today. It was good, but I realized she started doing some sh*t tests. I think I will take a step back to gauge her interest and have some distance so I don't get too involved.
It’s GG my dude
 

CornbreadFed

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The only two things that matter are timing and if she finds you attractive after the first date. Having these two aligned will give you another chance at bat if you miss the first pitch.
 

BillyPilgrim

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BillyPilgrim

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Yes, I know this move isn't in the playbook. I decided to let my guard down to understand her behavior too. The sh*t tests during the date were an indication that maybe she's not worth that kind of effort/move anyway. Even though I saw on the first date that maybe it was worth it.

So I'm going to step back now to understand what the next step will be from her side. Silence or chase.
What's she's doing is "processing" the lead fast, because she's the type of chick who goes through leads fast because no one's ever good enough (or at least, very, very few guys are). From her perspective, she needs to process quickly to make sure she finds someone who "meets her standards" without too long of a time frame. Plus, player vibes too probably. Are the sh1t tests of a comfort nature (i.e., a "comfort" sh1t test to see if you're not too much of a player?)
Stop putting it on her when you did this to yourself
OP is still learning, he's only 24
 

SW15

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She got in touch.

She sent me a meme and another message saying that she needed to return my earpods - I forgot it and left it in her handbag on the last date.
You might be able to turn that into a 3rd date and sex on the 3rd date.
 

BackInTheGame78

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What's she's doing is "processing" the lead fast, because she's the type of chick who goes through leads fast because no one's ever good enough (or at least, very, very few guys are). From her perspective, she needs to process quickly to make sure she finds someone who "meets her standards" without too long of a time frame. Plus, player vibes too probably. Are the sh1t tests of a comfort nature (i.e., a "comfort" sh1t test to see if you're not too much of a player?)

OP is still learning, he's only 24
You can't learn when you are unwilling to accept responsibility.
 

BillyPilgrim

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You might be able to turn that into a 3rd date and sex on the 3rd date.
OP needs to take her buying temperature first before potentially wasting more time.
 

Rainrain

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You can either tell her to meet you up to get your EarPods back (kind of be more reserved. See what she has to say) or tell her to drop her off in your mailbox.

Either way, you just won one more bullet to text her after the meet up or you get your earphones back to “stay in touch”. You choose what purpose and when that message can be.
 
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holidayad_

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OP needs to take her buying temperature first before potentially wasting more time.
That would be useful.
How can I do that? Not familiar with this concept.

What's she's doing is "processing" the lead fast, because she's the type of chick who goes through leads fast because no one's ever good enough (or at least, very, very few guys are). From her perspective, she needs to process quickly to make sure she finds someone who "meets her standards" without too long of a time frame. Plus, player vibes too probably. Are the sh1t tests of a comfort nature (i.e., a "comfort" sh1t test to see if you're not too much of a player?)

OP is still learning, he's only 24
They were more related to assessing my frame and confidence level and also some statements like "I bet it's not the first time you've come here on a date".

You can either tell her to meet you up to get your EarPods back (kind of be more reserved. See what she has to say) or tell her to drop her off in your mailbox.

Either way, you just won one more bullet to text her after the meet up or you get your earphones back to “stay in touch”. You choose what purpose and when that message can be.
Yes, I was thinking about the first option (reserved, aloof, wait and see what she has to say)

OR

Be more direct. Reply to her something like: “Do you want to return my earpod or do you want to see me?”

What do you guys think?
 
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AmsterdamAssassin

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Be more direct. Answer something like: “Do you want to return my earpod or do you want to see me?”
Don't use some many questions she has the answer. Make statements.
 

Rainrain

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How can I do that? Not familiar with this concept.



They were more related to assessing my frame and confidence level and also some statements like "I bet it's not the first time you've come here on a date".



Yes, I was thinking about the first option (reserved, aloof, wait and see what she has to say)

OR

Be more direct. Reply to her something like: “Do you want to return my earpod or do you want to see me?”

What do you guys think?
You can text her if she bring them to your house and she can come say hi if you are there. If you are not there then she can drop them in your mailbox. If she wants to see you she will choose the first option.
 
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BillyPilgrim

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How can I do that? Not familiar with this concept.



They were more related to assessing my frame and confidence level and also some statements like "I bet it's not the first time you've come here on a date".



Yes, I was thinking about the first option (reserved, aloof, wait and see what she has to say)

OR

Be more direct. Reply to her something like: “Do you want to return my earpod or do you want to see me?”

What do you guys think?
I'd say I'm probably going to be busy but I can meet up someplace near my place so she can return the pods. And on the day she meets you close to your place, your schedule has suddenly opened up so you guys can do something fun near or at your place. Once she agrees to meet you near yours, drop the hint you may actually be available to get together.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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I had a nice 1st date yesterday. The girl was fun and very easy to deal with. We had a few drinks, jumped from place to place, and walked around Lisbon at night.

She wanted to smoke and find out the meaning of a tattoo that was under my shirt and I told her she could only have it if she came to my place during the date. So I dropped a few hints during the evening.

Tried to bring her to my place but despite grabbing her ass while kissing and she gave me a few kisses on the neck, no deal.

In a nutshell: no bang, but a lot of make out.

We went home by cab, she got off at her house and sent me a message to let her know when I got to my place.

With a certain fear of having scared her off by trying to escalate to sex.

What would be the next step here? Wait 3-4 days and see if she texts again?
Nah bruh.

Of course, feel free to take advice from others..but what I preach/teach is from the Alan Roger Currie camp & philosophy, which is..

No dates, or spending money on a woman before sex (or physical contact)...which goes beyond pecks on the cheeks or holding hands.

Before I go on a date with a woman, I need to at least be tongue kissing or sucking her titties first.

And no, don't wait X amount of days before you reach out to her.

Let her know immediately that you want to smash..and either she is down, or she isn't.

Life can be simple sometimes, it is us who make it difficult.
 
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