"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Fuk buddy gone wrong.

M

Maeisgood

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I had this fuk buddy the last month of college last year. I wanted to make her my girlfriend but the distance and time apart made that hard. Her friends told me she liked me. She drove 3 hours to come see me and we messed around but I didn't feel like having sex.

Now college has begun again and she's found a new guy. I really want to talk to her because I want to know what went wrong and I want my condoms back so bad. It'd really hurt to know that some other guy was using my own condoms against me. I tried to get her to come talk to me but she didn't. I can't tell what the hell is going on.

Getting over the one-itis is like having the flu. All that can be done is let it take its course. How can I get her to divulge what had happened and to give me back my property?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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KarmaSutra

KarmaSutra

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Maeisgood said:
I want my condoms back so bad. It'd really hurt to know that some other guy was using my own condoms against me.
Click to expand...

If any of this were actual I would hope this new guy would dump the splooge from "your" condoms on your fvcking ricebowl, c0cksucker.
 
M

Maeisgood

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1. These were unused still in the box.
2. Say something productive, or go wank off.

I'm trying to figure out what happened so I may learn from it. I don't know what your purpose is. If you want a fight, then go play pokemon or whatever you're into. Don't pick arguements on a message board. I can't think there's much sadder than message board fights.
 
Q

qweretyuiopas

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Damn Karma why u think he is a troll? Im not saying he is or isnt but this doesnt sound like a troll thread, although the wanting to get your condoms back seems kinda like no biggie, well unless you gave her like 10 boxes and **** lmao

*edit* woo 400th post
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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