Do you think it's wrong to stop talking to a girl once you've been relegated to the friendship zone by her? I've done this before and have felt guilty. At the same time, I couldn't help how I felt. I would like responses from men and women.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Friendship Zone Question
- Thread starter Juan_Man
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You haven't been "relegated" you have been forced to accept something that you do not want. If you do not want this then why would you want her friendship?! Just like she rejected your advances because she didn't want this or you anymore, you owe it to yourself to reject her because you do not want to be forced into something you do not like (you want to fvck her and she doesn't want that why settle for mediocrity?? Your attitude should be take it or leave it and not settling for something less then.)
The time you spend with her as a "friend" could be better off dating other women. Women make lousy friends, I have yet to meet a woman that will actually be reliable and be a good friend to you as oppose of the world revolving around her. As soon as she finds a man most women "friends" dissapear without a trace.
When you have been LJBF, she ain't going to be your real friend because your friendship is based on control and limits. You will end up salivating like a poor puppy and kicking yourself when you meet her and her new boyfriend.
I got a simple line that will keep you sane " Befriend Men but Women you Bang".
DjDamage
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
DJDamage agree with you all the way.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
i have a question about my experience........it started off with me being myself and her giving me her number.....i really didn't care.......3rd date we cuddled and made out........the next thing.....after about a 7 day break......she just wants to be friends if i want......that we aren't compatible.
so i moved on....cuz i dont give.......it was a little weird but every once in a while....she ims me and talks.
whtas up with that?.....
so i moved on....cuz i dont give.......it was a little weird but every once in a while....she ims me and talks.
whtas up with that?.....
Hound_of_Love
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 16, 2005
- Messages
- 144
- Reaction score
- 1
Most likely she enjoys the attention. There wasn't enough of a spark, or you didn't take her far enough, for anything else.
You said yourself that you didn't care. It seems like she made a pre-emptive break up. She saw that you weren't interested, so she broke up with you before you could break up with her. If you like her, tell her how you feel. Don't hide behind your ego. Sometimes you need to show some emotion.
WesCottII
Master Don Juan
Hmm.... I'm not sure I agree. She says "ljbf" she means it. It's not a test. She doesn't want you. Get her gone, and move on.
Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
Yeah, move on. Listen to DJ Damage's advice. You don't need female friends. Unless you are shagging her other friends, she has little use to you.
Also, they invariably cloud your judgement and influence you with their bullsh*t woman ideas.
Also, they invariably cloud your judgement and influence you with their bullsh*t woman ideas.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
WesCottII
Master Don Juan
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
WesCottII
Master Don Juan
As Pook would say:
"I have enough friends thanks." and thats the end of it.
"I have enough friends thanks." and thats the end of it.
Tomatoes
Master Don Juan
Agreed
Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
I used to have the problem with the LJBF thing, but I think as you get older you will get wise to this particular trap.
It's pretty simple: view all women as objects of sex and pursue any interactions in that manner from the get go. Avoid being her emotional tampon and you will be fine.
It's pretty simple: view all women as objects of sex and pursue any interactions in that manner from the get go. Avoid being her emotional tampon and you will be fine.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
The Juan and only
Master Don Juan
That's what I'd say.However, Ross Jeffries suggests this:
her: "Lets just be friends"
you: "I don't promise any such thing. Friends don't put each other into boxes like that. The only thing I'll promise is never to do anything unless you and I both feel totally confortable, willing, and ready"
...dunno how effective that would be though...could work I suppose. well...If I really wanted to turn things around then I might try it.
JackPrescott
Banned
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2005
- Messages
- 860
- Reaction score
- 7
Personally, I dont, for the most part do the LJBF thing. For the most part, women who do not want to fukk me, who I know personally (mostly from work) we are mere acquaintences, there is no cell number exchange, we do not hang out together UNLESS it is a group setting, and they dont get drinks and food and other favors. There is one woman who I have allowed to have my number, and who I'll bother hanging out with occasionally, because she is a pretty fun woman, and she occasionally has some hott single friends she invites along, and this has proved fruitful in the past. But for example, the other day she needed help moving furniture, and she was told that she needs to get the guys that are sleeping with her to help her move. She has been told in the past to pay her 1/2 of the bar tab. She knows how I am about these things. She seems "ok" with it, but occasionally tells me that I have weird "rules" when it comes to our friendship.
But if a woman I am sexually pursuing tells me "LJBF" or I get this from one who I have been "hittin" then "Game Over" they will not hear from me again.
A woman who IS putting out a$$? She gets doors opened, help with her jacket, she NEVER pays for drinks, and food, and gets lots of other little intangibles along the way. My theory is one hand washes the other.
But if a woman I am sexually pursuing tells me "LJBF" or I get this from one who I have been "hittin" then "Game Over" they will not hear from me again.
A woman who IS putting out a$$? She gets doors opened, help with her jacket, she NEVER pays for drinks, and food, and gets lots of other little intangibles along the way. My theory is one hand washes the other.