El' Waynos
Don Juan
We were seeing each other, no she just wants to be friends.. no sex etc
whats the deal, will it work?
whats the deal, will it work?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Friendship after sex.. possible?
- Thread starter El' Waynos
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
girlsarecrazy
Senior Don Juan
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Hang out once, try to ride the ***** train again. If you can't get anything out of her. Then all you will be is a shoulder to lean on when shes upset and that's it!
Tomatoes
Master Don Juan
It can....But 99% of the time it wont. Depends how involved you were. If she was a FB. Yeah just friends work. If she was a full on LTR.....it will just be problematic. Have seen it work but my advice would be to give it a short try but not hold your breath when things get twichy. Then get her out your life.
Like Tomatoes said, an FB will work much better since no emotions were involved. I'm friends with two girls I fvcked and they both are pursung other guys. We still talk and joke about the past and it's easy because I didn't make the sex a big deal.
Tomatoes
Master Don Juan
Best test.....Imagine she is getting shagged by another bloke....does that make you uneasy? If so it prob wont work being friends.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
girlsarecrazy
Senior Don Juan
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Exactly. Try and turn it around to an exclusive relationship or fvck another girl first before becoming friends again with this girl.Tomatoes said:Best test.....Imagine she is getting shagged by another bloke....does that make you uneasy? If so it prob wont work being friends.
ntdawg
Don Juan
It could definately work for her but women are different.
As discussed in a previous thread I'm in a similar siuation to you. What I'm doing is never acknowleging that we a just friends.
I spoon feed my attention to her and make sure that when ever we hang out it is one on one. I try to give her as little attention as possible though.
At the same time I date other women. I'm not actively close friends with her but not actively dating either. I'm just keeping her as a side project that I work on slowly.
I'm trying to win her back but I'm finding that it is a much harder process the second time around as she really has to see me in a new or fresh light to get out of that friend zone.
I think it can be done and someone on this board must have done it before but it is definately a long slow process. good luck.
I recommend not thinking about her though if you can win her back all good but I think it is a small chance.
As discussed in a previous thread I'm in a similar siuation to you. What I'm doing is never acknowleging that we a just friends.
I spoon feed my attention to her and make sure that when ever we hang out it is one on one. I try to give her as little attention as possible though.
At the same time I date other women. I'm not actively close friends with her but not actively dating either. I'm just keeping her as a side project that I work on slowly.
I'm trying to win her back but I'm finding that it is a much harder process the second time around as she really has to see me in a new or fresh light to get out of that friend zone.
I think it can be done and someone on this board must have done it before but it is definately a long slow process. good luck.
I recommend not thinking about her though if you can win her back all good but I think it is a small chance.
Why would you want to have her as a friend? So you can see some E! show, and learn more and more about your favorite celebrities? Or how about exchanging cooking recipes. Or talking about both of your romantic interests! Sounds like fun!!!
girlsarecrazy
Senior Don Juan
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You don't want to be the boyfriend that doesn't get any.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Tomatoes said:Best test.....Imagine she is getting shagged by another bloke....does that make you uneasy? If so it prob wont work being friends.
Exactly.
El' Waynos
Don Juan
I guess, but I just think if I hang around as a friend there will be a time when I will get some sex again, she cant resist me and she knows it... she always comments that im "smooth" (thanks to sosuave)