"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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FR: Umm...

The LadyKiller

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I began talking to a gorgeous HB 8.5 online this week. After a few days of back-and-forth, I proposed we get a bite to eat a few days down the road. No reply. I remember the thread posted recently with the Harvey Spector quote:
and went on with my life. Sure enough, she texts me this evening asking what I'm up to. Because she never responded, I had already made plans to meet up with a friend at a bar 30 minutes away, where he lives. She said she was just hanging out at home, but "I could surprise you and come out." After me internally waffling over whether "just hanging out" was an invite to Netflix & chill (it wasn't), I put my foot down and said I'm going to the other town, if she comes out great, if not we can set something up for next week. No chance she was going to get ready and then drive 30 minutes to see a guy she's never met when she works early the next day. Or so I thought.

Close to 30 minutes later, she texts me she is on the way and it making the trip for me. :oops: Guys' night out suddenly turned into date night when she showed up and my friend, seeing us together, texts me "Tell her I had an emergency, good luck on the date." So, my friend/wingman who we traveled to see was gone, and I had to change my mindset for the night in a matter of moments. While this wasn't exactly the venue I would take her out to on a first date - she doesn't drink and I was situated at a bar - I did my best. There was kino, and we later chatted with some older, out-of-town strangers who approached us and thought we looked like a "nice couple." Overall, this was far from how I like to set up a date - where I control the venue and where the night may take us - but it made for a story.

She expressed an interest in going out to dinner next week, but nothing is certain until the HB shows up. I've learned that many, many times before. Given the two days it took for her to respond (maybe waiting on another guy), I'm not expecting much. At the end of the day, I learned I need to be ready to date every time I go out. You just never know.
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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backseatjuan

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I would have just told her I have some other plans, even if I had none, instead of tagging her along. But it worked for you, so whatever. At least you avoided her availability trap and showed that you have a life. Next week? Don't text her until at least Tuesday. I would say yes, find out what days she is available, tell her how about that day, and tell her you will message her time and location on that date. If no, that's totally fine, keep in mind she is HB8+ and she has a life, you show her you have life too, there is always a week after the next week. Avoid too much attention over text, and no sexting.

 

GrowingPains

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Damn, should've told her you were busy hanging with your bro.

He's a bro, but she could've waited. It's not like you smashed so what was the rush.
 

The LadyKiller

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Damn, should've told her you were busy hanging with your bro.

He's a bro, but she could've waited. It's not like you smashed so what was the rush.
I didn't expect her to actually show up. She texted me a pic of her in pajamas and was considering calling it a night. To decide to go out, change and get pretty and then to drive 30 minutes requires some degree of effort. My "invite" was somewhat of an empty gesture that ended up being not so empty. I'm not at all upset, but surely surprised.
 
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backseatjuan

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Come on dude, you don't expect a woman to drop her pajamas, shower, get dressed, put on make up in 30 minutes do you? That's none sense. Just like her driving 30 minutes to the other side of town is none sense. Never believe her, she's always lying about something.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The LadyKiller

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Come on dude, you don't expect a woman to drop her pajamas, shower, get dressed, put on make up in 30 minutes do you? That's none sense. Just like her driving 30 minutes to the other side of town is none sense. Never believe her, she's always lying about something.
That's sort-of the point I was making, thus my surprise as to why things played out as they did.

All I know for sure is we met and we will see what, if anything, will happen next.
 

marmel75

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Why are you offering dinner on a first date?
 
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