FR: Date from Hell!!

[Enzo]

I would have just gone home and left her at the mall.

Women that come out and act like that? I have no time for it.

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Guys, David Deangelo's ****y & Funny is simply a method to charm a woman while staying in control. If you need an idea of how to be charming, I suggest you watch pratically any James Bond movie.

Maximus_Decimus

 

[Luveno]

I'll tell you what happened:

She was pissed off because she wanted to have a good time. Instead you took her to the mall...think about that.

I for one would be pissed off too if some first date told me we were going to the mall first. The mall is where high school kids who can't drive hang out.

There's your problem. Sure she was a ***** and not worth your time anyhow, but taking girls to a mall on a date is stupid.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Tempest, you have a great attitude and sound like a fun guy. Disregard all of the previous advice except Tilltheendoftime's comment about feminism and the caution about social calibration. Also, it's good to have other tools in your arsenal than C&F. Qualifying and rapport skills are essential too. But really, your frame is the most important thing and yours seems fairly strong.

The date venue doesn't matter, waiting for the perfect first kiss is BS, your C&F didn't seem overboard to me, be socially aware but don't seek reactions from her, and I think leaving her there was great! She walked off. Fvck her. It's all about your reality and your good time. You said she was dull. Good riddance. Pvssy is replaceable.

The real issue that guys like you and me need to work on is drawing the girl into your reality. Figuring out what the girl responds to emotionally, stimulating those emotions, and then using their emotions to lead them into your reality where you control things. Girls respect you when you're authoritative but if they don't totally accept your reality first, then they'll give you shyt. It's difficult for me to achieve because it's easy to get sucked into their reality when you start probing their emotions and following their convo threads. It's this weird balance that I'm still pretty weak at.


BTW, I'll bet she was whiny and pissy about her feet because she wanted to be taken somewhere and fvcked, rather than walk around the mall. Too bad she outgamed herself and walked off!

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

tempest it does sound a lot of the problem was with the girl, her negitivity and disrespecting you. Still you did a few over the top things. the problem with the rules at the start is people do not like having rules set out for them if you said it more casualy maybe you would get away with it, but you where to stern. It just seems odd because why should you do it, you would not say that to your freinds. So just cut that bit out. The leaving her to walk home was also off. But yeah she was being a negat!ve ***** so theres not a lot you could have done.

 

[A&F Brand Cologne]

you're absolutely right, it was a date from hell. unfortunately, the date part came from her and the hell part came from you.

I enjoyed reading this thread because it re-affirmed what not to do when on dates (re: be an ass)

 

[RoeCyris]

Originally posted by Luveno
I'll tell you what happened:

She was pissed off because she wanted to have a good time. Instead you took her to the mall...think about that.

I for one would be pissed off too if some first date told me we were going to the mall first. The mall is where high school kids who can't drive hang out.

There's your problem. Sure she was a ***** and not worth your time anyhow, but taking girls to a mall on a date is stupid.

I have to say this is what I think too. To me, "my feet hurt" was her nice way of saying "i want to have fun with you but not the ****ing mall you wanker."

I'm sorry but the mall seems like such a childish environment to take a girl. Have you ever noticed its alot of teenagers there with nothin better to do? It's because your can be a comeplete ****-up and at least enjoy your time there. I think she wanted more originality & imaginaiton.

But thats just my opinion, in the end none of us were there so its hard so say where you precisly ****ed-up.

Just a question thoa, do you do C&F to be funny to HER or funny to US? Cuz you seemed very proud of your C&F like you work hard to maintain it, i think the goal is for it to be more natural and it shouldn't be something you brag about. But again, thats just my opinion.

 

[Fenderules]

I think it depends on the age 2, i mean if the girl is 15-18, the mall would prolly not be such a bad idea.

and if you set it up so she is not sure its a date....you know just phone her up and say "your hang'n with me tonight" type stuff then that would work 2. Or i bet you could be using some C&F and be like "well i need to do a couple things at the mall, so your tagg'n along so i wont get bored"

 

[Fenderules]

the mall would be a great place if used properly. Just like a walk in the park. All dates dont have to be dinner. sheeeesh, and its free 2! and whoever said tahts not original..........but it kinda is.... who the **** goes on a date to a mall or toy r us?

 

[skeeloo]

LmFao, see why this site isnt always good for you, look man you were acting like her father, for goodness sakes, chill the fuk out. geez.LOOL.

 

[RoeCyris]

Originally posted by Fenderules
the mall would be a great place if used properly. Just like a walk in the park. All dates dont have to be dinner. sheeeesh, and its free 2! and whoever said tahts not original..........but it kinda is.... who the **** goes on a date to a mall or toy r us?

see thats like all i did in middle and alot of high schoool precisly for the fact that nobody had money in middle school 9th or 10th grade. plus it was like "have your mom drop you off at the mall and say your gonna hang with some friends" cuz back then it was still kinda of cool to not tell your parents exactly what you were doing, lol, i don't know why we did that.

 

[Tempest]

Lately I've been reading through and taking notes from DeAngelo's Attraction Isn't a Choice ebook, and have noticed a few interesting key points which is EXACTLY what I portray in my attitude which I thought I'd post:

"Believing 'I'm the man, others do what I want. I'm in control of reality and this situation. I'm a cause in the world and GET WHAT I WANT,' but at the same time NOT making it obvious you want her creates a subtle tension that's almost magnetic.

Some guys write to me 'This stuff sounds like you think that being an ******* is a good idea. I don't want to be a jerk... I'm a nice guy...'

I'm glad this is a concern since I don't believe in hurting anyone, but these guys are missing the point.

The point is not to be mean, but to maintain a high level of self-respect while having fun. There's a big difference between mean and funny... women enjoy teasing but not verbal abuse.

Guys are too wrapped up in a taught-by-mom "be nice to women" mentality. We're too used to women who were also taught by mom and heard her saying, 'You're the honey and they're the bees.' Most guys are so conditioned to see the world this way they'll probably never break through - and never really fulfill a woman.

But that's OK - it just means there's more for the rest of us!"

As for the rules I mention for my day out and stuff, DeAngelo mentions:

"Always take the 'I don't need this and I can walk away at any time' attitude of zero-clinginess. This is a philosophy of yours worth mentioning early on to her. It attracts the quality women you deserve and filters the negative ones you wouldn't want anyway."

Bingo. I think I'm right on with my attitude and how I portray myself. My attitude DEFINETLY did filter out that negative biatch that I don't want to get associated with. If you guys question my success with my attitude and women, then feel free to ask the girl which I went out with last Sunday and ask her why she said to me afterwards "omg this was sooo much fun! i can't believe i didn't do this with you the day before... thank you sooo much!!"... and that's the same one that has been calling me everyday for the past week. oohh, even better yet... why don't you guys just read my field report of a few weeks ago about how i landed a threesome with two cute girls that i met from online, took to the mall AND used the exact same attitude and techniques.

 

[IDISAGREE]

you tell a girl that you have rules on the first date?

she told u that her foot hurt and u let her walk as far as you could
make it?

and you still think that u r a ****y and funny man, OMG


what the hell

 

[McKindley]

This HAS to be a joke. No person can be that bad at social interaction. This has to be a joke.

Being with a girl is supposed to be natural and fun. Not filled with stress. You don't give her rules. Especially rules that state that SHE has to make YOU have a good time.

Never TELL people what to do, either ASK, or find a way to make it feel like their idea. No one likes to be told what to do.

You were completely disrespectful of this girl the ENTIRE time you were with her, from start to finish, and you OWE her an apology.

Taking someone along for your errands is not a date. ESPECIALLY not a FIRST date.

You should call her up, apologize, and never call her again.

And then you need to grow up.

I could go on for days here, but I don't think you'd be receptive to it.

Just explain what you did to another girl that you know better and ask HER what SHE would do if she was on a date and a guy did this.

The whole "my time is important and you have to respect it" REEKS of insecurity. If your time is important then she'll know soon enough by learning about you and all what you have going on in your life.

I'm a really busy person, and the people who know me know this. But I never actually say "I'm so busy." When I go out with a girl she usually already knows how busy I am and respects that. I never TELL her I'm busy, and never ASK her to respect it. Yet again, people don't like being TOLD what to do.

It seems to me that you have some inferiority stuff going on that you need to deal with. You are trying so hard to "be the man" that you look like a clueless douche.

 

[Tempest]

Originally posted by McKindley
This HAS to be a joke. No person can be that bad at social interaction. This has to be a joke.

Being with a girl is supposed to be natural and fun. Not filled with stress. You don't give her rules. Especially rules that state that SHE has to make YOU have a good time.

Never TELL people what to do, either ASK, or find a way to make it feel like their idea. No one likes to be told what to do.

You were completely disrespectful of this girl the ENTIRE time you were with her, from start to finish, and you OWE her an apology.

Taking someone along for your errands is not a date. ESPECIALLY not a FIRST date.

You should call her up, apologize, and never call her again.

And then you need to grow up.

I could go on for days here, but I don't think you'd be receptive to it.

Just explain what you did to another girl that you know better and ask HER what SHE would do if she was on a date and a guy did this.

The whole "my time is important and you have to respect it" REEKS of insecurity. If your time is important then she'll know soon enough by learning about you and all what you have going on in your life.

I'm a really busy person, and the people who know me know this. But I never actually say "I'm so busy." When I go out with a girl she usually already knows how busy I am and respects that. I never TELL her I'm busy, and never ASK her to respect it. Yet again, people don't like being TOLD what to do.

It seems to me that you have some inferiority stuff going on that you need to deal with. You are trying so hard to "be the man" that you look like a clueless douche.

That's all great and dandy but I think I'm going to stick with what works. This is exactly the same type of response I'd expect to hear from an AFC friend (or my MOM even). I think I'm going to stick with what WORKS for me. Although it hasn't worked for me to get a 2nd date this time, it HAS worked for me the past 10 times I've gone out on a date with the exact same attitude.

Oh, and one more thing: I DON'T CARE. Think about that.

 

[McKindley]

See, I TOLD you what to do, and you got defensive.

Think about THAT.

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Hey Tempest. It's good that you demand respect. A DJ must demand respect. However, you should also respect the woman you are dating.

You see, a true DJ is not a nice guy who takes disrepsect from a woman and lets the woman take advantage of him. Nor is a true DJ a jerk that treats his woman like sh*t. A DJ is simply the good guy. The good guy does not take disrespect but at the same time, he treats his woman the right way.

Maximus_Decimus

 

[Gonzalo]

Good laugh. I could see this as an article in Maxim: "How to make her hate you after the first date", with a drawing of a guy giving thumb-up and a girl looking all pissed.

Anyways, carry on...

 

[IDISAGREE]

Originally posted by Tempest
That's all great and dandy but I think I'm going to stick with what works. This is exactly the same type of response I'd expect to hear from an AFC friend (or my MOM even). I think I'm going to stick with what WORKS for me. Although it hasn't worked for me to get a 2nd date this time, it HAS worked for me the past 10 times I've gone out on a date with the exact same attitude.

Oh, and one more thing: I DON'T CARE. Think about that.

All the previous 10 times must be 10 super ugly girls, they got no choice and had to stick with u. Period.

 

[Tempest]

This thread is giving me a headache and I'm really getting tired of justifying everything that I do. Apparently I'm being called a jerk now for taking a girl to the mall... wow.

First of all I want to make one thing clear. I met this girl from online. When a meet a girl from online, I don't go from the phone to a DATE. I go from the phone, to a GET TOGETHER hang out sort of deal. I can see how the title of the thread is misleading, but I thought I cleared that up earlier. With that being said, I usually MEET the girl, then see whether or not they're 1) crazy or psycho, 2) worth my time and 3) worth dating.

I'm getting negative after negative responses in this thread... people that are accusing me of being a jerk and a horrible person. I can tell you this is definetly the last time I post a FR.

Now look.. I really don't care about whether or not the girl likes me or not. I'm indifferent to the outcome. I don't care if you guys think I'm this huge jerk or don't believe that I can get girls... I will do what WORKS and what gets me RESULTS, even if you guys disagree with it or don't see it as logical. I am 100% congruent with EVERYTHING that I do, and I can assure you I have no problems with my dates. I never hear any complaining or *****yness... I show them the MOST FUN they've ever had. They love it!

It's amazing how you can make taking a girl on a few personal errands with you (grocery shopping, ANYTHING) a FUN time. It's all in your attitude... it doesn't matter WHAT you do. I can't believe you guys are criticizing me for going to the mall with a 16 y/o girl. Most girls you meet from online WILL NOT even trust you enough to go out to dinner with you... they'd need to meet up with you in a public place and hang out in public.

Now the biggest and most important part is my attitude. I simply DO NOT CARE. I do not care if this girl likes me or not. I'm not trying to seek her approval, I'm not trying to win her over and I'm sure as hell not trying to impress her. If she doesn't like my attitude... she can walk out at any time. It's funny you guys mention how much of a jerk I was... I mention in my FR that I noticed she wasn't having a good time and was being negative... and so I asked her "would you like me to drive you home?" and she said what? She said NO. It was obvious and crystal clear that everything I was doing prior to that was congruent, tolerable and wasn't disrespecting her, otherwise she would've allowed me to take her home. I think it was clear the turning point was when I spanked her... which really offended her.

Again, I know you guys look at this stuff, read it online and then immediately see it as being a JERK and disrespecting a woman. You guys need to see this stuff done in REAL LIFE, rather than analyzing it over a computer. I think it's Rick H that says, "If you do ANYTHING with enough authority, you're going to get away with it." I am out to have FUN... I playfully tease girls, annoy them and give them no special privelages. She is just like any other girl to me. I treat girls like they're a bratty little sister... you love her, but she's annoying. I don't want you guys to think that I am abusive towards girls or verbally assault girls... this is NOT what I'm about - so stop treating me like I'm an abusive jerk. I don't call girls fat or mean names, or get them upset nor do I disrespect them. I still DO good things on my dates and treat them well... but they usually have to earn my respect first (which this girl clearly didn't). For example, I always open doors for the girl, always walk on the proper side of the sidewalk and always do thoughtful, spontanious things for them.

Let's face it... this girl was a stuckup biatch. I'm curious to know what you guys would do when a girl is disrespectful and a total biatch to you from the start... I can bet you half of the guys would put up with the attitude, wouldn't know what to do and would drive her home, walk her to the door and then call her afterwards to apologize for the fact that she didn't have fun. Instead, I realize that there are over THREE BILLION MORE women in the world and give her the chance for a ride home, she declines and continues to be a bigger biatch, so I tell her "this isn't working out, it was REALLY NICE MEETING you, have a good life."

NEXT. Up is still up, down is still down, the sun still rises in the east and everyone moves the hell on with things!