FR: Date from Hell!!

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by Maximus_Decimus
Hey Tempest. It's good that you demand respect. A DJ must demand respect. However, you should also respect the woman you are dating.

[/i].

Maximus_Decimus

Demanding respect and commanding respect are two different things. You can demand anything you want from anybody, but it doesnt mean a thing. Commanding respect is doing things that makes a person want to respect you, and that is real respect. Social interactions is give and take, meaning it is a constant state of flux. All these rules disable you, because you are constant while things are changing around you. A very serious person wont respond well to c&f while a very arrogent person will love compliments. Different people mean different personalities, and if you dont know how to adjust you are only hurting yourself. You dont use car fuel in a jet, nor do you water cactus the same way you water roses. Always remember if what you think about yourself is very different then what people are saying about you your thoughts (essence) and actions are not congruent. Listen to the criticism and change it. No one is perfect therefore having flaws doesnt make you less of a Man, ignoring them does!

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Originally posted by Royal Elite
Demanding respect and commanding respect are two different things. You can demand anything you want from anybody, but it doesnt mean a thing. Commanding respect is doing things that makes a person want to respect you, and that is real respect.

Yes, you're right. One should always try to "command" respect rather than "demanding" it. Respect is earned.

Maximus_Decimus

 

[Tempest]

Royal Elite,

Hey, very good reply. I agree with what you mentioned. I think the lesson is definetly learned here. I'm glad that I did have this bad experience because now I will know what to do for next time.

I just wanted to give you guys a great example of how I mentioned Rick H's rule of thumb he goes by, which is: "If you do anything with enough AUTHORITY, you're going to get away with it."

Those of you that are familiar with David DeAngelo's DVD/Audio Series will be able to relate and know what I am talking about. If you guys havn't seen or heard this yet... I recommend that you guys go out and purchase it or get your hands on it. You will learn things from the REAL DEAL, the successful guru guys, rather than reading it out of a bible put together by a bunch of keyboard geeks on the internet.

Rick H talks about when he goes to Miami and he will meet girls on the beach and stuff. Then, he invites all of them out AT THE SAME TIME, on the same day, on the exact same date. So, he'll invite 4 girls to meet him in the lobby of his hotel and 7pm for a date. He even mentions that he slept with one of the girls about an hour before the date. So there he is... in the lobby of his hotel when the 4 girls show up. The girls don't know what the hell is going on... so he plays it cool and he introduces the girls to eachother. Then he sneakily dismisses himself and says he's going to go get them a drink.... while he leaves the girls with eachother so that they can figure out what's going on. About 10 minutes later he casually joins back into the group, putting his arm around them, etc... This guys reality is so strong, and he is so completely congruent with what he does... that the girls go along with it. He says most of the time he has a big orgy with the girls, other times they compete over him, and rarely they just leave, in which case it's NOT A BIG DEAL. He mentions how he is sitting there playing chess with a girl, while having 3 other girls sitting there watching them play chess. He can do whatever the hell he wants... because he doesn't CARE. He is indifferent to the outcome... doesn't care if they don't like him or leave, he doesn't care if he invites 10 women together in the same room. I think some of you guys are missing the big picture.

If you havn't seen the DVD or the audio, I suggest checking it out. It's worth it!! =)

 

[Royal Elite]

Congrats-I hope the best of you on your personal journey to self improvement.

For everyone else remember "the answers in life comes from the questions you ask". If you set you mind on how to be the best you can be, that is what you brain will seek answers too. If you set your mind to what makes a car work, your brain will seek answers to that. I think Big and no longer ponder upon things to make me hot to women, I think about life, and ponder on ways to excell at whatever I put my hands into (business, health, learning, social interactions), and since then i have moved leaps and bounds in my search for personal growth.

 

[McKindley]

I still see a problem with respect here, though.

Imagine a girl asked you to meet her in her hotel lobby, only to find that she got 3 other guys to come over, and wanted you to compete over her, or all gangbang, or watch while she plays candyland with one of the guys.

That's seriously disrespectful, and no person who has respect for themselves would put up with it. I understand its a great story to tell, but if you actually did this to a group of girls you would be a douche.

Here's where you might be incongruent: You keep talking about doing things with authority, right? I understand its a nice idea and all, but what makes you so certain that you HAVE this authority?

In the end you just come off like you HAVE to be in control, and have all these contrived ideas about how you (your majesty) should be treated by total strangers. If you met up with a girl and before she left the house she gave you a list of things you MUST do, and made you agree do you think that would make you think this was going to be a great date? Would you feel respected?

(really, dude, if this many people say you're doing something wrong, your probably doing something wrong)

 

[Tempest]

Originally posted by McKindley
I still see a problem with respect here, though.

Imagine a girl asked you to meet her in her hotel lobby, only to find that she got 3 other guys to come over, and wanted you to compete over her, or all gangbang, or watch while she plays candyland with one of the guys.

That's seriously disrespectful, and no person who has respect for themselves would put up with it. I understand its a great story to tell, but if you actually did this to a group of girls you would be a douche.

Here's where you might be incongruent: You keep talking about doing things with authority, right? I understand its a nice idea and all, but what makes you so certain that you HAVE this authority?

In the end you just come off like you HAVE to be in control, and have all these contrived ideas about how you (your majesty) should be treated by total strangers. If you met up with a girl and before she left the house she gave you a list of things you MUST do, and made you agree do you think that would make you think this was going to be a great date? Would you feel respected?

(really, dude, if this many people say you're doing something wrong, your probably doing something wrong)

If a girl did attempt that on me, I'd simply LEAVE. Move on with my life. I do have respect for myself, and of course I wouldn't put up with it. Remember, this is MY reality, and she is a guest.

And yes, I do not see myself anywhere near as congruent as I'd like to be. For example, when I spanked her it was very obvious I didn't do it with enough authority and wasn't congruent with it, so she came back and knocked my block off. Most of my C+F and behaviour is very congruent with me... and I just naturally think of these things for the most part. Part of the whole congruency issue which I go by is "fake it till you make it". The more you practice at something, the more natural you'll become at it, the easier it will get and the better you will be. And man, this isn't about being bossy or controlling - I don't do any of that. It's about FUN. Everything I do is for FUN. How I mentioned earlier that when I buy a girl subway I usually order her the kids meal and tell her she can't play with the toy until she finishes it all... it's FUN. I handed a girl my coffee the other day while I was driving and said "awesome, you're the best!! you're #1!!!" with a really fun and positive attitude... she laughed and we joke about it everyday. It's not about being a control-freak. It's not like she's my slave and I treat her like dirt and expect her to follow every command I say. You're taking it to the extreme.

Nothing on this forum is based on solid facts... it's other people's opinions, and other peoples experiences. How many people on this website do you think field test everything that they do? How many people do you think on this website go out and try different methods, different attitudes, different openers and techniques to see what kind of results they get? Not that many!

I just want to quote Alpine real quick if I may (from another post) because I thought what he said was really interesting about this forum and it stuck with me for a few days:

CHOOSE YOUR SOURCES CAREFULLY:
"I used to think this forum was the dog's dangleys, but the more I learn from experience and the more threads I read I realise 80% of what people are saying here is complete disinformation.

As a newbie, you will take everything on face value 'cos you know no different. After a while you get to realise who's talking sh1te.

How do you know anyones credentials? At least with De Angelo it's from a kosher source and it's one system. If you take a bit from one guy and a different philosophy from another they conflict and confuse.

Pick a thread, any thread. Read through the advice. I guarantee you will find two people offering advice that is the total opposite to the other. Which is right? They can't both be right, or can they?"

A lot of people here give advice based on THEORY, rather than experience itself. That's why I've disregarded a lot of the negative replies here. I think there's been like 5 people that have replied with saying that the mall is a horrible place to take a girl. Really?? Because I have had tremendous success taking girls to the mall. They love it, I love it... they're comfortable there, I'm comfortable there... it's never boring and I have the funnest dates there. In fact I take EVERY girl I meet to the mall to hang out the first time.

I don't think I am totally wrong here. I do however agree that I went a LITTLE bit overboard with the C+F, shouldn't have spanked her and shouldn't have left her there. Other than that, everything else that I do is field tested (many times before) and WORKS (YES BELIEVE IT OR NOT). I know it's tough for you to believe, but it really really does work for me (even though it doesn't make sense!). And no these girls aren't ugly or fat. They're all 7+'s.

 

[So Many Ways]

I have to defend the concept of taking a woman to the mall on a first date.

I've gone to the mall type areas on first dates and it's worked out. It's something that's suggested on the Advanced Dating Series and I've done it in the past, before I ever found this web site and I've had success with it. I personally prefer downtown style shopping areas over shopping malls myself but it does work and it's field tested.

Here in Southern California there are several cool shopping areas that are fun to take a date. I've taken women everywhere from Citywalk (great place to go on a first date), the Block, Irvine Spectrum, 4th Street Promenade in Santa Monica, downtown Laguna Beach places like that. There's always stuff going on and it's easy to find topics of conversation and the women always have a good time.

What's boring is doing the typical dinner date type thing.

This is field tested stuff here guys. Friends of mine who've done it have suggested it to me and I've done it and it's worked well for me.