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For those doubting that women spin plates too

Pierce Manhammer

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Been reading some chick forums and look at this gem of a post. They call it “multitasking” or “multidating”. Can’t make this **** up! And then they wonder why guys won’t commit to them.

We often debate women’s strategies or omissions when we’re getting to know them, geeesh.

—-

The moment I stopped evaluating him is the moment he lost interest and I got hurt

We went on probably 4 high effort dates, he started losing interest after the 4th but we ended up on 7 ish before I asked him where we stood and he called it off. Up until date 3 I was multidating but had to break it off because the other guy wanted to be exclusive, I wasn't sure about him, and I didn't want to stop seeing this one. My energy shifted after that in the sense that I now focused all my energy on this guy who even from the beginning when I was evaluating I was concerned he was less communicative than the other one. I now went from being more elusive and communicative since I had high standards as to when I was taking calls and didn't care if he dropped off to consistent and clearly excited to see him. I noticed a change in energy almost immediately. It also put me in a position where I started missing red flags and overlooking signs of losing interest. If I were multidating I would have let him drop off the face of the earth, but once I got invested I prolonged it by reaching out to him occasionally. I still tried to follow most fds rules and he initiated more than I did but there was a drop off in enthusiasm, prioritization of me, and consistency from before. He even admitted to me he wasn't prioritizing me and tried to step up but when I asked him where we stood he admitted he was just too busy to and I deserve better and it ended. And I got hurt. Bad.

Anyways probably for the best because a guy shouldn't be testing your boundaries anyways and there were red flags like inviting himself to my place to make out the 4th and 5th date (to be fair he didn't try for sex but it's just weird and rude), and saying he had no social media and never had social media when I found him on Instagram and a hidden Facebook with pictures of his ex still up. I brushed it off as an old account and he barely followed anyone but multidating me would not have tried to rationalize that at all. Probably he wasn't even over his ex and just dating to try and get over her.

Ladies never try to hold onto a man who is changing their communication style on you. Best case scenario they got busy (his excuse) worst case scenerio they lost interest. I don't think the issue was me reaching out to confirm plans or occasionally calling him but that I stopped evaluating his level of effort and got burned.
 

SW15

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This seems like a woman past her prime dating two subpar options.

First guy is a prototypical nice guy. Offers her exclusivity after 3 dates.

Second guy seems weird. Doesn't try for sex at her place on a 4th or 5th date.
 

Robert28

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This seems like a woman past her prime dating two subpar options.

First guy is a prototypical nice guy. Offers her exclusivity after 3 dates.

Second guy seems weird. Doesn't try for sex at her place on a 4th or 5th date.
It’s FDS, the most militant feminist bassackwards site on Reddit. It’s made up of ugly, bitter, leftover women with TONS AND TONS of baggage. They don’t hand out advice, they sabotage each other.
 

SW15

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They don’t hand out advice, they sabotage each other.
Sounds like women to me.

It’s FDS, the most militant feminist bassackwards site on Reddit. It’s made up of ugly, bitter, leftover women with TONS AND TONS of baggage.
I had never heard of FDS until recently. If it is how you describe it, then that's bad. It seems like my assessment that the woman was past her prime was accurate.
 

BillyPilgrim

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@Pierce.Manhammer

I'm impressed you were able to understand all that!

Frankly I can't make heads or tales what the hell she's talking about except she "multi-dated" up until the third (or was it fourth) date.

The below for example. Can you or anyone translate this for me?

I went from being more elusive and communicative since I had high standards as to when I was taking calls and didn't care if he dropped off to consistent and clearly excited to see him.

One can't be elusive AND communicative at the same time, you're either one or the other, and what the heck does it have to do with having high standards?

SMFH. Lol
First off, it's a poorly written sentence: " I now went from being more elusive and communicative since I had high standards as to when I was taking calls and didn't care if he dropped off to consistent and clearly excited to see him"

You have to cut out the middle to somewhat understand it. " I now went from being more elusive and communicative to consistent and clearly excited to see him"

At first she was being manipulative by being inconsistent in her interactions, being elusive when the guy wanted to talk sex or bang, and "communicating" a bunch of cr@p he didn't care about. That's where the "elusive and communicative" paradox comes in. Then she started being overly attentive, it seems, but the guy was probably halfway checked out at that point given her initial behavior, and then with no sex from that point onwards, the guy bailed. (if there was sex, it probably was reluctant sex on her part).
 

Pierce Manhammer

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It’s actually mind-boggling. I mean we know a lot of this stuff instinctually but to have a lens on it in the wild is something different - to read it is a trip.

What’s funny is that to a post it’s clear that they are lying to men, and that they have very low views of men to begin with. What’s funny is that they’re basically copying most of the red pill and PUA stuff but in reverse. There’s truly a difference between male psyches and female psyches…

I guess it’s true, that we become that which we hate the most sometimes.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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We may be, and sometimes aware of it - but I believe it’s different depending on your target age group.

Am i the only one fvcking girls with boyfriends? How is this news to you guys?
 

Velasco

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"Matching men's energy/effort" is a huge strategy which typically backfires on them because it's contrived and a poor use/understanding of Game (female Game).

Otherwise men will lose interest and dump, not realizing the reason they're getting dumped is precisely because of this behavior.
Not really the elusive behavior. Some guys like me, don't like to be constantly texting. So we appreciate it when girls recognize that, and then follow our behavior.

However, men WILL dump you if your weird about a guy coming over to your place to chill after 5 dates. I'm gonna go ahead and assume these girls are telling each other to withhold sex, and demand exclusively first. Cuz that's what "high quality" girls do.
 

Velasco

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So to punish him, instead of matching his effort and responding in a timely manner, or gasp talking to him about it, she waits hours to reply or won't reply until the next day or even at all.
Yea that's fine. She's "punishing" him by doing exactly what he wants her to do lol.
Even though again their in-person dates are awesome, they see each other twice a week.
Ok so everything's Gucci then lol.
 

Velasco

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Nevertheless, she's not acting genuine, her behavior is contrived, disingenuous, poor Game and will backfire on her, I've seen it happen.
Hmm I guess that's typically how's it's gone early on in my relationships. All games and sh1t, till she falls in love.
One would think but she's unhappy - insecure and anxious because he doesn't meet her stringent texting requirements
Where I as a man want her to be ;)
 

pipeman84

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What man in his right mind would entertain even the thought of asking out such women, let alone spending time/money dating them? :rolleyes:
I mean, it's never been easier to unload, with the high availability of sex workers and porn. If you want company, get a dog.
The only logical conclusion is that the men are even more messed up than these FDS women.
 

oldmanofthesea

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However, men WILL dump you if your weird about a guy coming over to your place to chill after 5 dates. I'm gonna go ahead and assume these girls are telling each other to withhold sex, and demand exclusively first. Cuz that's what "high quality" girls do.
You beat me to it.

and there were red flags like inviting himself to my place to make out the 4th and 5th date (to be fair he didn't try for sex but it's just weird and rude)

There is nothing weird or rude about it and if you read between the lines, she accepted his saying he was coming over and she accepted him initiating a make-out session too. Only now that she is butt-hurt over getting dumped is she going back and changing the narrative to try to make herself feel better.

It is tough to know if the guy actually did try for sex by covertly escalating physically the way a man should (as opposed to asking for it verbally) - but my guess is that he probably could sense that she wasn't going to sleep with him in a reasonable timeframe and he justifiably lost interest and moved on.

You can also tell she is pushy and entitled. "He even admitted to me he wasn't prioritizing me" Yeah so she called him out and pushed him about that. It worked so well for the guy she cut things off with, after all.

The real takeaway his what happened to the nice-guy who wanted a relationship with her. Notice she didn't make a single complaint about that guy and instead preferred to chase the other guy who had only mild interest in her. And look what happened to to the nice guy. If asked, her response would likely be that she just "wasn't that attracted to him." Men should never ask for exclusivity nor push for a relationship.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Not really the elusive behavior. Some guys like me, don't like to be constantly texting. So we appreciate it when girls recognize that, and then follow our behavior.

However, men WILL dump you if your weird about a guy coming over to your place to chill after 5 dates. I'm gonna go ahead and assume these girls are telling each other to withhold sex, and demand exclusively first. Cuz that's what "high quality" girls do.
“The girl who tells you she wants a relationship first is the same girl who fncked the hot guy at the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break half an hour after meeting him.”
 
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SW15

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First guy is a prototypical nice guy. Offers her exclusivity after 3 dates.
The real takeaway his what happened to the nice-guy who wanted a relationship with her. Notice she didn't make a single complaint about that guy and instead preferred to chase the other guy who had only mild interest in her. And look what happened to to the nice guy. If asked, her response would likely be that she just "wasn't that attracted to him." Men should never ask for exclusivity nor push for a relationship.
The real victim of the whole situation is that nice guy who offered her exclusivity. He is likely not a bad guy at all. He's likely a 5-6 in looks with a decent job and a decent salary. He's likely unspectacular in every way, but he's probably not ugly or subpar in any way. He's likely caught in a no man's land. He is the reason the term Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) was invented by Mystery and the other PUAs of the late 1990s/early 2000s.

What's your take on women who won't have sex until she gets an offer of exclusivity (see link below)? This is an approach that high end matchmaker Patti Stanger has talked about for over a decade, starting back when she had the "Millionnaire Matchmaker" reality TV show about her agency on Bravo. Bravo is a media outlet whose programming is consumed by a lot of 30-54 year old women. Bravo's other big shows are the "Real Housewives of X" franchise shows and I know those shows are big with middle aged women.


Some men will offer exclusivity as a condition for getting vagina.

“The girl who tells you she wants a relationship first is the same girl who fncked the hot guy at the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break half an hour after meeting him.”
Most women will find a way to conveniently omit that from her past.
 

pipeman84

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“The girl who tells you she wants a relationship first is the same girl who fncked the hot guy at the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break half an hour after meeting him.”
That's Rollo's BS. Men believe that crap and then wonder where the good girls are and how come they end up with BPD, NPD and other 3 letter acronyms for mental cases. The good girls are chased away by the vibe a person who believes this BS gives.
Don't misunderstand me...if the signs are obvious she's the Cancun foam party type of girl, by all means, don't be a patsy.
 

pipeman84

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I've heard women say/admit when they really like a man and desire a relationship with him, they will intentionally withhold sex until relationship.

If the guy is willing to wait, in her mind it's proof he's serious about her and won't hurt her. She also believes he will respect her more if she waits.

Female Strategy/Game 101.

On the other hand, when a woman sees a hot guy but does not want a relationship with him thinking he's some player or bad boyfriend material or something, she won't hesitate having a hot ONS with him.

Might explain why she's telling one guy she wants to wait for relationship but yet will fvck the Chad on Spring Break.
100% this
And the Intelligent Male Strategy 101 should be to differentiate between the quality woman who withholds sex until she gets to know the man and she deems him to be relationship worthy from the woman who ACTS as if she's quality when in fact she wants to hang up her hoe uniform and become a housewife. Never try to turn a hoe into a housewife.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Even girls you perceive as “good girls” have something like this in their past.

Deny it at your own peril. It’s reality, not that it really matters in todays day and age, but I’d say MAYBE 5% of sexually active women over 25 do not have a skeleton or two in their closet - you’d be flabbergasted to learn.

Is what it is. The issue is one of a women playing the born again good girl card on a guy, when she’s been promiscuous in the past - that’s the issue here.


That's Rollo's BS. Men believe that crap and then wonder where the good girls are and how come they end up with BPD, NPD and other 3 letter acronyms for mental cases. The good girls are chased away by the vibe a person who believes this BS gives.
Don't misunderstand me...if the signs are obvious she's the Cancun foam party type of girl, by all means, don't be a patsy.
 
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