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lizardking82

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I made a thread here about a girl coming over at my place the beginning of January and then nothing happening cause she was acting weird and it all got weird. Problem is, I had this feeling in my gut that I maybe did the hurried thing to just give her the silent treatment for the last 2 months. Since I have a girlfriend and two other girls in rotation, I am quite easily dismissing of any "uncertainty" sign from women in general, but I guess uncertainty is their "bread and butter". The communication is off since 2 months, but she still watches everything I post LOL and has not taken me off of any social media yet.

I wrote to her today. I will try inviting her over at my place again depending on how the conversation goes (if there is any conversation at all). What I wanted to say with this thread is that whenever I have had a doubt in my mind about a girl, I always found it "soothing" and "freeing" to remove doubt and just give it a try. Even when I got refused, it was OK, it was not bugging my mind anymore ever after. I am not scared of her rejecting me at all and I am more relaxed about it already, without her even answering yet.

I remember when my gf broke up from me about almost 3 years ago now (the reason I signed up for this forum) and I went total silence for 3 months...but then I had an urging feeling of wanting to write to her. It was bugging me for a week and I finally said "fack it, why would I let this bug me for so long?" so I wrote to her, asked her if she'd changed her mind about it, she said no and it was the most relaxing feeling ever in those 4 months. I finally was clear and knew she had moved on so I moved on as well.

Sometimes, in order to protect our ego from being "rejected again" or from having the other person ignore us, we make plans and strategies and we sit and wait, but it's really just consuming your brain and emotional power. If you have a doubt about a communication with a girl that was left unclear or kind of open situation, remove doubt by just contacting the person. The way they respond and whether they respond or not will give you an answer that should let you know where the situation stands. I find it more straightforward and it has been more positive than negative for me over last few years.
 

backseatjuan

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we sit and wait
I can see the direction of your post - ask questions, clear things up. But you do have a wrong mindset, not about the direction of your post, but about the whole 'sit and wait'. It's as if we make an analogy of a fisherman, you throw a bait, and you sit and wait for the fish/ woman. No woman is worth waiting for, because women, unlike men, have lots of options. Change your mindset to the following - once the woman of your affection somehow acts weird or does not respond, you switch your attention to another woman or women, and you don't just sit and wait for that particular girl that isn't worthy of your time, you forget her perhaps forever perhaps for now, while you go ahead and pursue other options.

Abundance man. She's not the only fish at sea.
 

lizardking82

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I can see the direction of your post - ask questions, clear things up. But you do have a wrong mindset, not about the direction of your post, but about the whole 'sit and wait'. It's as if we make an analogy of a fisherman, you throw a bait, and you sit and wait for the fish/ woman. No woman is worth waiting for, because women, unlike men, have lots of options. Change your mindset to the following - once the woman of your affection somehow acts weird or does not respond, you switch your attention to another woman or women, and you don't just sit and wait for that particular girl that isn't worthy of your time, you forget her perhaps forever perhaps for now, while you go ahead and pursue other options.

Abundance man. She's not the only fish at sea.
I was not sitting and waiting for her, I can barely find time to manage my current set of girls. My point was that I guess it's a feeling many people have for many situations, not only related to women. When things come in front of your eyes, you get reminded of stuff when situation was left uncleared up. I say hit that person up, fack the "oh, what will she think". Let her/him think whatever they want. You do this for you, to take that little doubt away, to give your mind a little more peace. That's all I'm saying
 

LARaiders85

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I made a thread here about a girl coming over at my place the beginning of January and then nothing happening cause she was acting weird and it all got weird. Problem is, I had this feeling in my gut that I maybe did the hurried thing to just give her the silent treatment for the last 2 months. Since I have a girlfriend and two other girls in rotation, I am quite easily dismissing of any "uncertainty" sign from women in general, but I guess uncertainty is their "bread and butter". The communication is off since 2 months, but she still watches everything I post LOL and has not taken me off of any social media yet.

I wrote to her today. I will try inviting her over at my place again depending on how the conversation goes (if there is any conversation at all). What I wanted to say with this thread is that whenever I have had a doubt in my mind about a girl, I always found it "soothing" and "freeing" to remove doubt and just give it a try. Even when I got refused, it was OK, it was not bugging my mind anymore ever after. I am not scared of her rejecting me at all and I am more relaxed about it already, without her even answering yet.

I remember when my gf broke up from me about almost 3 years ago now (the reason I signed up for this forum) and I went total silence for 3 months...but then I had an urging feeling of wanting to write to her. It was bugging me for a week and I finally said "fack it, why would I let this bug me for so long?" so I wrote to her, asked her if she'd changed her mind about it, she said no and it was the most relaxing feeling ever in those 4 months. I finally was clear and knew she had moved on so I moved on as well.

Sometimes, in order to protect our ego from being "rejected again" or from having the other person ignore us, we make plans and strategies and we sit and wait, but it's really just consuming your brain and emotional power. If you have a doubt about a communication with a girl that was left unclear or kind of open situation, remove doubt by just contacting the person. The way they respond and whether they respond or not will give you an answer that should let you know where the situation stands. I find it more straightforward and it has been more positive than negative for me over last few years.
Maybe at first, as you did. Eventually you really shouldn't have these doubts anymore because the answers are obvious based on experience. Sometimes I envy the ambiguity some of you allow yourselves to entertain while I'm sitting there miserable knowing it's over weeks or months in advance lol.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Maybe at first, as you did. Eventually you really shouldn't have these doubts anymore because the answers are obvious based on experience. Sometimes I envy the ambiguity some of you allow yourselves to entertain while I'm sitting there miserable knowing it's over weeks or months in advance lol.
Whats over? Why is it over? Perhaps the best it couldve been was a FWB situation because of how she moves.
 

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lizardking82

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Maybe at first, as you did. Eventually you really shouldn't have these doubts anymore because the answers are obvious based on experience. Sometimes I envy the ambiguity some of you allow yourselves to entertain while I'm sitting there miserable knowing it's over weeks or months in advance lol.
That is how I rate most situations. But some of them kinda come back in my mind LOL
 

Serenity

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But you do have a wrong mindset, not about the direction of your post, but about the whole 'sit and wait'.
Not necessarily. It depends in what sense a man sits and wait. If the waiting has any effect, like not getting much else done or not moving on until something happens, then yeah that's the wrong mindset. If you made a move, not much came of it and you don't care, then I wouldn't call that the wrong mindset at all, it's literally zero effort. If she comes around she comes around, if not then you wouldn't even think about it.

I had the impression that OP was talking about the latter. Forget it and if she suddenly returns then why the fvck not?

The biggest issue isn't the waiting or trying again or whatever. The real issue is how some men invest way too much emotion into it, how they get way too excited and give too much of a fvck about it being nothing.
 

Trump

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I remember when my gf broke up from me about almost 3 years ago now (the reason I signed up for this forum) and I went total silence for 3 months...but then I had an urging feeling of wanting to write to her. It was bugging me for a week and I finally said "fack it, why would I let this bug me for so long?" so I wrote to her, asked her if she'd changed her mind about it, she said no and it was the most relaxing feeling ever in those 4 months. I finally was clear and knew she had moved on so I moved on as well.
3 months of her NOT contacting you, you are not clear.
A “no” over email, it’s crystal clear?

That’s making no sense.

Don’t you think if she wanted to get back together, she would have said “lizard king, sorry for breaking with you. I made mistakes and will be a good girlfriend from now on. Can you take me back?”

If you have a doubt about a communication with a girl that was left unclear or kind of open situation, remove doubt by just contacting the person. The way they respond and whether they respond or not will give you an answer that should let you know where the situation stands.
‘Hi Cindy, your mind games and mental games have left me unclear as to where my relationship stands with you. I have doubts that you really like me. Can you be clear and not play me around anymore?”

Not sure bro.
 

TechnoScotch

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No woman is worth waiting for, because women, unlike men, have lots of options.
I wonder why that is. Statistically, most places have more women than men. Women want men as much as men want women. And from what many girls told me, they are constantly beset by repulsive creepy guys, whereas the same is not true for men, so it seems like there are many more quality women for every decent man than vice versa... so why do they have options while men do not? Is it because many men are conditioned to be monogamous, to not spin plates, and develop one-itis? If so, it means that a man who spins plates, that is not true - he should have as many options as most women, no?
 

lizardking82

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3 months of her NOT contacting you, you are not clear.
A “no” over email, it’s crystal clear?

That’s making no sense.

Don’t you think if she wanted to get back together, she would have said “lizard king, sorry for breaking with you. I made mistakes and will be a good girlfriend from now on. Can you take me back?”



‘Hi Cindy, your mind games and mental games have left me unclear as to where my relationship stands with you. I have doubts that you really like me. Can you be clear and not play me around anymore?”

Not sure bro.
Yeah well, I am talking about a girl who in my eyes at least, dumped me out of the blue. Of course I was not good enough to read some signals and prepare, but who is in the end when they're 21? A lot of women don't even show any significant sign they're about to leave you, they just do one beautiful day. I didn't care much about anything else at that moment in time, I felt like I wanted to give it one last try and I did and after that, my mind and heart were at ease and I sailed forward smoothly and nicely to where I am today.

This post was more of a call to men to stop overthinking. No matter how much of a DJ you are and how many girls you're spinning, some situations will leave you a bit wondering. I prefer to clear my mind through simple action and it has worked out fine right now.

P. S - She didn't return my message, didn't even see it. It has been delivered, but nothing yet. Now even that 5% doubt is clear. That's all :)
 

backseatjuan

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I wonder why that is. Statistically, most places have more women than men. Women want men as much as men want women. And from what many girls told me, they are constantly beset by repulsive creepy guys, whereas the same is not true for men, so it seems like there are many more quality women for every decent man than vice versa... so why do they have options while men do not? Is it because many men are conditioned to be monogamous, to not spin plates, and develop one-itis? If so, it means that a man who spins plates, that is not true - he should have as many options as most women, no?
It's an easy one. Females in nature, are choosers. So given 100 guy field women would pick 5 or so alpha males and fck with them, and once realized they are being used for sex, and no nesting with an alpha male is possible, then a woman would pick and date several guys out of the renaming 95, and after fcking several of them by accident she would consider long term relationship with the best one in terms of money and looks. But still, she would run and fck those 5 alpha males when called or texted.
 

SoSuave666

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As you get older you will learn that wanting closure is nothing more than insecurity. Bottom line is she lost interest in you. If you can't figure out why on your own just post your story here in detail and we will tell you why.

Or maybe the wind changed directions...
 

lizardking82

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As you get older you will learn that wanting closure is nothing more than insecurity. Bottom line is she lost interest in you. If you can't figure out why on your own just post your story here in detail and we will tell you why.

Or maybe the wind changed directions...
It is not insecurity. I just don't like unfinished things so in some cases, I do give it a second try. In this case, the girl can't stop looking at every story I post, likes my pics and all. Wrote to her yesterday, she saw it, didn't return. Now it's 110% clear, next. Simple as that.
 

TechnoScotch

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It is not insecurity. I just don't like unfinished things so in some cases, I do give it a second try. In this case, the girl can't stop looking at every story I post, likes my pics and all. Wrote to her yesterday, she saw it, didn't return. Now it's 110% clear, next. Simple as that.
If you know she doesn't want you, why do you need her to tell you this explicitly?
If you know why she doesn't want you, why do you need her to explain it to you?
 

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mrgoodstuff

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If you know she doesn't want you, why do you need her to tell you this explicitly?
If you know why she doesn't want you, why do you need her to explain it to you?
How does he know? Isnt it enough to know shes just not feeling him? That reach out for confirmation is weak.
 

lizardking82

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Maybe I was I just applying to my own principles. When I am not interested in someone any longer, I don't sneak around their Instagram, I don't like their posts and other things like that. Girls, apparently, do. So since I had 15 free seconds, I sent her a message. She hasn't been on my mind, she hasn't bugged any of my mindset. I just thought sometimes other people have this same feeling and in that case, no need to bother yourself with it. Some guys here call it insecurity, some call it closure, I like to call it a "second fun attempt" and that's it.

Now she's off of my social media since this broad has nothing better to do than watch my posts LOL I don't need people who watch everything I do while they supposedly have "no interest" in me. Either you're totally in or totally out. Simple.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Maybe I was I just applying to my own principles. When I am not interested in someone any longer, I don't sneak around their Instagram, I don't like their posts and other things like that. Girls, apparently, do. So since I had 15 free seconds, I sent her a message. She hasn't been on my mind, she hasn't bugged any of my mindset. I just thought sometimes other people have this same feeling and in that case, no need to bother yourself with it. Some guys here call it insecurity, some call it closure, I like to call it a "second fun attempt" and that's it.

Now she's off of my social media since this broad has nothing better to do than watch my posts LOL I don't need people who watch everything I do while they supposedly have "no interest" in me. Either you're totally in or totally out. Simple.
They have light interest. Stalker mode. So put up a few weeks of pictures of you having fun with other ladies.
 

lizardking82

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They have light interest. Stalker mode. So put up a few weeks of pictures of you having fun with other ladies.
No facking way. My level of interest in this broad is so low and even if it was high, I would never react by posting pictures of me having fun with other ladies. Over the last couple of years, actually, I've found out it makes them more curious when you don't put up any ladies at all, but as happens in my case...you have women commenting on your pics, on your work. That's amazing, it makes them think like "what is this guy up to" LOL
 
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